Signs of childhood trauma in adults

   Hi, today I would like to share the interesting topic, namely "Signs of childhood trauma in adults", the main reason why I choose that topic because not many people can detect it, Signs of childhood trauma in adults can appear in various forms, whether emotionally, behaviorally, cognitively, or physically. Childhood trauma occurs when a child experiences a frightening event, causes uncontrollable fear, or makes them feel unsafe without adequate support. Its effects can be long-lasting and affect how a person interacts with the world, themselves, and others as an adult. Below is a more detailed explanation of the signs:
 
Emotional Signs
- Excessive worry and anxiety: Often feeling anxious for no clear reason, experiencing severe social anxiety, or having panic attacks. Childhood trauma can make the brain accustomed to dangerous situations, so it stays in "alert" mode even when there is no real threat.
- Depression and hopelessness: Often feeling sad, helpless, or having no hope for the future. Some people also experience a sense of emptiness or lack of a clear identity.
- Difficulty managing emotions: Easily angered, offended, or crying for no clear reason. Sometimes also experiencing "emotional numbing," where it is hard to feel happiness or affection.
- Excessive guilt and shame: Always feeling at fault even when doing nothing wrong, or being ashamed of themselves and their past. Trauma can make a person feel that they are to blame for the events that happened to them.
- Difficulty trusting others: Hard to build deep relationships and trust others, because of fear of being betrayed, hurt, or neglected like what happened in childhood.
 
Behavioral Signs
- Difficulty in relationships: Often experiencing problems in romantic, friendship, or family relationships — for example, being too dependent, too distant, or always looking for conflict. Some people also tend to withdraw from social activities and live alone.
- Self-harm behavior: Engaging in behavior that is dangerous to oneself, such as hitting oneself, cutting oneself, or taking unnecessary risks. This can be a way to cope with painful feelings that cannot be expressed.
- Addiction: Trapped in addiction to alcohol, drugs, food, games, or other activities as a way to escape from trauma feelings.
- Difficulty sleeping or nightmares: Hard to fall asleep, often waking up in the middle of the night, or having nightmares that remind one of childhood traumatic events.
- Excessive control behavior: Always wanting to control all aspects of their life, because of fear of losing control like what happened in the past. This can appear in the form of strict habits, perfectionism, or difficulty accepting one's own flaws.
 
Cognitive Signs
- Negative thoughts about oneself: Always seeing oneself as not good enough, weak, or worthless. This can come from hurtful words or behavior of adults in childhood.
- Difficulty concentrating and remembering: Hard to focus on daily tasks, or experiencing memory problems — especially memories of the traumatic event itself (dissociation). Sometimes also experiencing "mind blank" when exposed to triggers that remind one of the trauma.
- Believing in wrong assumptions: Having unrealistic beliefs, such as "I will always be hurt" or "no one will love me." These beliefs can shape how a person sees the world and makes decisions.
- Dissociation: Sometimes feeling like "being detached from oneself" or as if watching their life from the outside. This is the brain's natural defense mechanism to protect itself from excessive pain.
 
Physical Signs 
- Unclear body pain: Experiencing back pain, headaches, stomach pain, or other physical discomfort that cannot be explained by medical causes. Trauma can affect the autonomic nervous system, causing muscle tension and physical health problems.
- Immune system problems: More susceptible to illness because of long-term stress from trauma that lowers the immune system.
- Digestive problems: Experiencing recurring gastritis, constipation, or diarrhea due to the connection between the brain and digestive tract that is affected by stress.
- Rapid heartbeat or difficulty breathing: Often feeling a racing heartbeat or difficulty breathing, especially when exposed to triggers that remind one of the trauma.
 
It should be noted that not all people who experience childhood trauma will show all these signs, and the severity can vary. Some people may not realize that their feelings or behaviors come from past trauma, because the symptoms can appear gradually as they get older.
 
If you or someone you know experiences these signs and finds it difficult to cope on your own, seeking help from a mental health professional (such as a therapist or counselor) can be very helpful. Therapies like Trauma-Focused Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (TF-CBT) or EMDR Therapy can help a person process trauma and build healthier ways to manage emotions and relationships.

What's the function of existential intelligence in reality

  Hi, today I would like to share about the interesting topic, namely "what's the function of existential intelligence in reality", the main reason why I choose that topic because many people don't know about its existence, for your information that existential Intelligence (often referred to as the 9th intelligence in Howard Gardner's Multiple Intelligences theory) is a person's ability to contemplate fundamental questions about human existence.
Simply put, it is the intelligence of the "big picture." People with this intelligence often grapple with questions about life, death, and the reality of the universe.
 
Here is a detailed explanation along with real-life examples:
 
Traits of People with Existential Intelligence
 
They are not satisfied with superficial answers. They tend to:
- Think philosophically.
- Be able to see things from a cosmic or broad perspective.
- Question established norms and "truths."
 
Concrete Examples in Daily Life 
1. Children Who Often Ask "Why?"
The purest examples are often seen in children who ask difficult questions to their parents, such as:
- "Where was I before I was born?"
- "Why do people have to die?"
- "Why are we on Earth instead of another planet?"
- "Where does God live?"

2. Interest in Deep Topics
Someone with this intelligence usually prefers discussions about:
- The origin of the universe (cosmology).
- Concepts of time and infinity.
- The meaning of love, suffering, or justice.
- They may prefer watching documentaries about outer space or reading philosophy books over light/gossip topics.

3. Ability to See "Beyond the Self"
When facing minor problems (e.g., traffic jams or losing money), they can stay calm because they see them in a long-term perspective.
- Example: "This frustration is only temporary and won't mean anything in 5 years."

4. Relevant Professions
People with high existential intelligence are often found in roles such as:
- Philosophers: Thinkers who formulate concepts about logic and ethics.
- Theologians/Spiritual Leaders: People who delve into the meaning of divinity and spirituality.
- Theoretical Physicists/Cosmologists: Like Einstein, who thought about the relativity of time and space.
- Abstract Artists/Writers: Whose works try to capture human emotions or conditions that are difficult to put into words.
 
World Figures Examples
Some figures considered to have very high existential intelligence: 
- Socrates: Always questioned the definitions of truth and justice.
- Buddha: Searched for answers to human suffering and a way out of it.
- Albert Einstein: Although a scientist, he often contemplated the mysteries of the universe with a sense of wonder that was almost spiritual.
 
[!NOTE]
Important: Having existential intelligence does not mean a person has to be religious. An atheist can also have high existential intelligence if they often contemplate ethics, morality, and the origin of the universe in depth.
 
Do You Have It? 
You may have dominant existential intelligence if you often feel: 
- Small when looking at stars at night, yet feel connected to the universe.
- Often daydreaming about the future of humanity.
- Wanting your life to have an impact or "legacy," not just to pursue money.

What makes people feel at home at the working place

   Hi, today I would like to share about the interesting topic, namely "What makes people feel at home at the working place", the main reason why I choose that topic because not everyone can detect what makes them comfortable at the working place, The feeling of "betah" (comfort and contentment) in the workplace is known in psychology by the term Employee Retention, which is closely linked to Employee Engagement.
 
Psychologically, a high salary often only prevents someone from "leaving" but is not enough to make them feel "betah" (comfortable and enthusiastic). The feeling of betah arises when humans' basic psychological needs are met.
 
Here is a psychological breakdown of what truly makes someone "betah or comfort" at work:
 
1. Self-Determination Theory
This is the "cornerstone" of modern work psychology. According to this theory, a person will naturally feel betah if their three innate needs are fulfilled:
- Autonomy: A sense of having control. Employees feel trusted to arrange their own work methods, rather than being dictated every step of the way (micromanagement).
- Competence: A feeling of "I'm good at this". Employees feel their work is challenging but still manageable, and that their skills are growing, not stagnant.
- Relatedness: A sense of belonging. This is often translated as a "family-like" culture in Indonesia. Employees feel cared for as people, not just as company assets.
2. Psychological Safety
Popularized by Harvard's Amy Edmondson, this concept is a key factor in mental comfort:
- Definition: Employees feel safe to express opinions, ask questions, or even make mistakes without fear of being embarrassed, punished, or seen as stupid by superiors and colleagues.
- Impact: If someone has to constantly "wear a mask" or fear speaking up every day, their mental energy will be exhausted (burnout) and they will not feel betah.
3. Job Embeddedness
Psychology also views betah as how strong the "spider's web" is that ties someone to their position. There are three elements:
- Fit: The employee's personal values align with the company culture. Example: A laid-back person will not feel betah in a very rigid/bureaucratic company.
- Links: Having a "Work Bestie" or close friend at the office. Research shows that having one close friend at work is one of the strongest predictors of someone staying long-term.
- Sacrifice: The perception that "if I move, I will lose many non-material things" (such as a fun team, an understanding boss, or flexible working hours).
4. Perceived Equity
Humans have a highly sensitive sense of fairness. The feeling of betah can disappear instantly if there is inequality:
- Distributive Justice: Is my salary/bonus fair compared to colleagues with the same workload?
- Procedural Justice: Are rules enforced evenly? Are promotions given transparently or based on favoritism?
5. Meaningfulness
Psychologist Victor Frankl emphasized that humans are driven by the search for meaning. A person will feel betah—even in a very heavy job—if they feel their work is important and makes an impact.
- Example: A customer service representative will feel more betah if they see their work as "helping people in need" rather than just "handling complaints".
 
Summary: The "comfortable" Triangle meaning 
Simply put, a person will feel comfortable if they can say:
 
- "I am safe here." (Psychological Safety)
- "I am valuable here." (Recognition & Meaning)
- "I have a future here." (Growth & Competence)
 

You deserve to be in environments that bring out the softness in you, not the survival in you

  Hi, today I would like to share about the interesting topic, namely "You deserve to be in environments that bring out the softness in you, not the survival in you", the main reason why I choose that topic because many people struggle to fight with the environment, instead of building self worth to bring softness in ourselves,  It should be noted that we live in this world to create characters that will be used by reality, if we are not able to create quality personality values, then reality will place us in an environment that weakens our personality, We need to remember that the quality of our personality determines whether reality will use us for something that is more expensive than our self-esteem or cheaper than our self-esteem.

  There are 5 things we need to pay attention to value about our qualifications 
  
1. Core Meaning 
This advice conveys that everyone deserves to be in an environment that makes them feel calm, gentle, and become the best version of themselves naturally, not an environment that constantly forces them into a state of survival, stress, or constant alertness.
  
2. Psychological Perspective 
The environment shapes behavior.
If someone lives in a place full of conflict, pressure, reproach, or threats, the brain will always be active in survival mode: anxious, defensive, easily angered, and finding it difficult to trust others.
 
The softness mode (rest/connection mode) is when someone feels safe, accepted, and valued.
This brings out the sides of:
 
- affection
- patience
- creativity
- empathy
- ability to connect with others
  
3. Implicit Message
 
Every reality invites you to: 
a. Evaluate your environment 
Does the place you are in right now: 
- often make you mentally exhausted?
- make you feel like you have to be constantly alert?
- make you feel marginalized or unappreciated?
 
b. Prioritize mental health 
You deserve to be in an environment that: 
- does not require you to be tough
- does not force you to endure fear or pressure
- provides space to grow peacefully
 
c. Recognize your limits
This also implies the importance of saying: 
"I need a healthy environment."
"I don't want to survive in a place that hurts me."
  
4. Life Wisdom
 
Often, people stay in bad environments because: 
- they are afraid of being abandoned
- they are afraid of looking weak
- they are used to the pain
- they feel they have no choice
 
Every reality reminds us:
 
✅Softness is not weakness — it's a sign that you feel safe and safety is a right of every human being.  
 
5. Practical Application
 
You can start by: 
- choosing friends who make you feel calm, not tense
- working in a place that values you, not exploits you
- living with people who understand you, not demand from you
- reducing interaction with toxic people
- creating a peaceful personal space

Giving too much free time to others can lower self-esteem.

  Hi, today I would like to share about the interesting topic, namely "Giving too much free time to others can lower self-esteem", the main reason why I choose that topic because not everyone can handle their time, Besides that, many people are willing to lose their time for something that is not related to their career, when they get instant pleasure, they immediately give up a lot of free time for it, there is advice “too much availability kills your value.”, which means
being too readily available (always there at any time) actually damages your worth, Why does this happen? Because time has two functions: to provide opportunities or to create regret. If we don't choose wisely, we will become victims of our own feelings.
  
🧠 Here is the core Meaning
 
This advice talks about boundaries and self-worth.
When someone is too often available, never refuses, or is always ready whenever called, then:
 
- Their presence is considered ordinary
- Others stop valuing their effort and time
- Their self-value decreases because they are not seen as “precious” or “limited”
 
Simply put:
What is too easily obtained is often considered worthless.
  
🔍 Deeper Analysis
 
1. Social Interaction Psychology
 
Humans tend to value: 
- What is rare
- What requires effort
- What is not always available
 
If you are always there 24/7 for others, they may unconsciously:
 
- Consider you a backup option
- Ignore your boundaries
- Take you for granted as something “given”
  
2. Quality vs. Quantity
 
Often, being present as needed, but with good quality, is far more appreciated than constant presence without limits.
  
3. Risks of Being “Too Available”
 
- Not appreciated → your effort is seen as normal
- Exploited → people tend to ask for more because they know you won’t refuse
- Burnout → you get tired from giving too much
- Loss of identity → you live according to others’ needs, not your own
 
⚖️ Balanced Meaning
 
This advice does not mean you should become cold or stingy with your time.
The key points:
👉 Value yourself by setting boundaries.
👉 Don’t always say “yes.”
👉 Let your availability have quality and meaning.
 
In this way, others will appreciate your time and yourself more.
  
📌 In relation to the workplace
 
Someone who: 
- Always accepts all tasks
- Is always ready at any time
- Never refuses
 
Will often: 
- Be overloaded
- Be considered a “jack of all trades,” not a professional
- Not get promoted or raise because they are seen as “permanent support”

Hopefully this article can give you an insight how to empower your career, good luck.