Why Is It So Hard to Forgive Yourself After Failure? A Psychological Explanation

   Hi, today I want to share an interesting topic, namely "Why Is It So Hard to Forgive Yourself After Failure? ",  The main reason why I chose this topic is because many people experience this kind of attitude when they are oppressed by circumstances that they are not ready to accept. The difficulty of forgiving oneself after failure is a profound psychological phenomenon, often triggered by excessive internal criticism and shame. The healing process can be significantly aided through the Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) approach.

 

Several key psychological barriers make the act of self-forgiveness very difficult after experiencing failure or making a mistake:

 

1. Perfectionism and Unrealistic High Standards

For perfectionistic individuals, any failure is seen as evidence that they are "not good enough" or "incompetent." They set almost impossible standards and see mistakes as a major personal failure, rather than as a result of a situation or learning opportunity. Their internal self-critic becomes very harsh, turning small mistakes into lifelong punishments.

2. Shame vs. Guilt

This is a key distinction: 

- Guilt: Focuses on behavior—"I did something bad." Healthy guilt can motivate to correct mistakes (reparation) and change.

- Shame: Focuses on the self—"I am a bad person." Shame destroys self-esteem and causes individuals to hide or withdraw, preventing them from constructively processing failure and forgiving themselves.

 

3. Ruminating on Mistakes

People who find it difficult to forgive themselves often ruminate on failure scenarios in their minds repeatedly. It's like a "broken record" that keeps playing pain, regret, and criticism. Instead of learning from the past, they get stuck in it.

4. Psychological Inflexibility

This is a key concept in ACT. Psychological inflexibility occurs when someone is too attached to their negative thoughts, feelings, and inner experiences that they cannot act according to their life values. They try to avoid or suppress feelings of guilt/shame, but these avoidance efforts actually reinforce suffering.

 

Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) for Recovery

 

Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) is a third-wave cognitive behavioral approach that is very effective in helping someone forgive themselves after failure. The goal of ACT is not to eliminate pain or negative thoughts, but to increase psychological flexibility—the ability to accept difficult inner experiences while taking actions that are aligned with personal values.

 

Here are ACT steps that are relevant to self-forgiveness:

 

1. Acceptance and Cognitive Defusion

- Acceptance: Instead of fighting or suppressing feelings of guilt, shame, or regret, you are trained to accept that these feelings and thoughts are an inevitable part of the human experience after failure. Acceptance means "being willing to have" these feelings without letting them dictate your actions.

- Cognitive Defusion: Separating yourself from thoughts. You learn to see critical thoughts ("I'm a loser," "I always fail") as just words or mental activity, not as absolute truths. Example technique: changing the sentence "I am a total failure" to "I realize that I have the thought that I am a total failure."

 

2. Being Present

ACT trains you to be fully present in the current moment, breaking the chain of rumination about past failures. By focusing on what is happening now, you reduce the power of the past's grip on your current behavior.

3. Determining Values

You identify core values that are important to you (e.g., being brave, compassionate, or persistent), regardless of past failures. Failure cannot change your values.

4. Committed Action

After accepting the pain (Acceptance) and identifying what is important (Values), the final step is to take small and concrete actions that are aligned with your values.

 

- Self-Forgiveness as Action: Self-forgiveness is defined as restorative action that is consistent with values, not just a feeling. This can include apologizing, learning from mistakes in a real way, and using energy previously wasted on self-blame into energy to build a better future. In essence, ACT helps you see that failure is an event, while your values are a compass; you can choose to move towards that compass, even when your thoughts and feelings hurt.

The Impact of Childhood Trauma (ACEs) on Adult Relationships and Recovery Steps

   Hi, today I want to share an interesting topic., that is "The Impact of Childhood Trauma (ACEs) on Adult Relationships and Recovery Steps", The main reason why I chose this topic is because many small children have trauma due to parental negligence in educating their children. From my observations regarding the traumatic experiences of young children, the average first response that young children express to their parents is indifference towards themselves. This is very confusing for many parents, especially parents who only rely on money as a final solution, Many parents are not aware that a child's indifference towards the role of parents is a form of distrust.  Certainly, childhood trauma or Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) can have a significant and profound impact on a person's interpersonal relationship patterns and intimacy in adulthood. ACEs encompass various traumatic events such as physical, emotional, sexual abuse, neglect, or household dysfunction (e.g., parents with addiction or mental illness).

 

Here is an explanation of the impact of ACEs on adult relationships and important steps in the recovery process.

 

1. Impact of Childhood Trauma (ACEs) on Adult Relationships

 

Trauma experienced in childhood often disrupts the development of secure attachment patterns, which ultimately affects how a person interacts, trusts, and feels safe in romantic relationships in adulthood.

 

A. Insecure Attachment Patterns

 

ACEs often result in one of three insecure attachment patterns:

 

*   Anxious-Preoccupied: A person becomes overly dependent, constantly seeking reassurance and validation from their partner, and fearing abandonment anxiety.

*   Avoidant-Dismissing: A person tends to avoid emotional closeness and intimacy. They may appear overly independent and withdraw when the relationship starts to get serious.

*   Fearful-Avoidant/Disorganized: A combination of anxiety and avoidance. This person desires closeness but fears intimacy, often withdrawing due to feeling insecure or afraid of being hurt.

 

B. Difficulties in Intimacy and Trust

 

*   Basic Distrust: Experiences of being betrayed or neglected by caregivers make it difficult for trauma survivors to build trust in others. They tend to be suspicious and wait for the relationship to "end" or "hurt."

*   Emotional Dysregulation Issues: Trauma disrupts the brain's ability to regulate emotions. This can manifest as:

*   Hyperarousal: Overreaction to small triggers, such as outbursts of anger, excessive anxiety, or easily panicking in conflicts.

*   Hypoarousal (Dissociation/Numbing): Emotionally withdrawing or numbing (dissociation) when feeling stressed, making it difficult to establish genuine intimacy.

*   Low Self-Esteem: ACEs victims often feel worthless or unworthy of being loved. This causes them to:

*   Accept unhealthy relationships (toxic relationship) because they feel that is what they deserve.

*   Seek excessive validation from their partner.

*   Repetition of Trauma Patterns: Unknowingly, someone who has experienced ACEs may tend to choose partners who have behavioral patterns similar to traumatic figures in childhood (e.g., a partner who is controlling or emotionally unstable), a phenomenon known as trauma re-enactment.

 

2. Recovery Steps for Healthy Relationships

 

Recovery from trauma is a journey that requires commitment, patience, and support. The goal is to build secure attachment with oneself and others.

 

A. Getting Professional Help (Therapy)

 

This is the most crucial step. Therapy helps process and heal old wounds.

 

*   Trauma-Informed Therapy: Look for a therapist who specializes in trauma (e.g., using approaches such as EMDR, Somatic Experiencing, or Dialectical Behavior Therapy/DBT).

*   Recognizing Triggers: Therapists can help identify specific triggers in relationships that activate old trauma responses.

*   Couples Therapy (if already in a relationship): If you and your partner are both committed, couples therapy can help you understand how each other's trauma affects the dynamics of the relationship.

 

B. Focus on Self-Healing (Self-Love and Self-Care)

 

Healthy relationships start with a healthy relationship with oneself.

 

*   Recognize and Accept Trauma: Acknowledge that trauma has occurred and accept that it is not your fault. This recognition paves the way for healing.

*   Emotion Regulation: Learn and practice techniques to calm your nervous system, such as mindfulness, breathing techniques (grounding), or yoga. This helps you respond, not react, when triggered.

*   Self-Love: Prioritize self-care and develop a positive narrative about yourself. Practice self-compassion when you make mistakes.

 

C. Building Safe Relationships

 

Healthy relationship patterns need to be learned and practiced.

 

*   Creating Healthy Boundaries: Set clear and firm physical and emotional boundaries in relationships. Boundaries create a sense of safety and respect.

*   Open and Honest Communication: Practice assertive communication. Express your needs, feelings, and boundaries honestly but respectfully, without blaming your partner.

*   Choosing a Safe Partner: Look for a partner who demonstrates consistency, empathy, and the ability to take responsibility for their actions. Avoid partners who are manipulative, unstable, or do not respect your boundaries.

*   Building Trust Gradually: Trust must be built through consistency and keeping promises (both promises to yourself and your partner). Learn to accept vulnerability gradually in a safe environment.

Why do we often fall in love with the same type of person? (A psychological explanation)

   Hi, today I want to share an interesting topic, namely "Why do we often fall in love with the same type of person? (A psychological explanation)",  The main reason I choose this topic is because many people experience heartbreaking events when facing a relationship, If we look at it from a psychological point of view, people who experience heartbreaking love experiences because they do not raise their standards of thinking, in the end they meet the same type or standard of people as before,  The phenomenon of falling in love with the same type of person over and over again has several strong psychological explanations, rooted in childhood experiences and unresolved emotional needs.

1. Love Schemas

This concept was developed by psychologist John Money and later popularized by therapist John Gottman.

* Schema Formation: From childhood, we unconsciously form a "map" or cognitive schema in our brains of what love and relationships should look like. This schema is formed based on our early relationships, particularly with primary caregivers (parents or guardians).

* Schema Content: Love schemas encompass what we consider familiar, sexually attractive, emotionally safe, and how conflict should be handled. Personality types, appearances, or even interaction patterns we experienced as children become embedded in these schemas.

* Familiarity Seeking: As adults, our brains automatically seek out partners who reflect the components of these schemas, even if those components are unhealthy. Familiarity is often equated with security, so we are attracted to familiar types, even when they are painful.

 2. Corrective Needs from Childhood Relationships

According to psychodynamic theory, we often choose partners who we subconsciously believe can help us resolve conflicts or unmet needs during childhood (re-enactment).

* Healing Old Wounds: If you had parents who tended to be cold or unemotional, you may be attracted to partners who are also difficult to approach. Subconsciously, you feel the need to "fix" or win their attention.

* Confirmation of Self-Identity: If your childhood was spent catering to the needs of others, you may be consistently attracted to dependent or self-oriented partners. This reinforces your old role as "savior" or "giver," which feels natural to you.

3. Attachment Theory

Our attachment patterns developed in childhood greatly influence how we interact in adult relationships. There are three main patterns:

* Secure: People who are comfortable with both intimacy and independence.

* Anxious/Ambivalent: People who crave intimacy but often worry about abandonment.  tend to be attracted to avoidant partners.

* Avoidant: People who value independence and are uncomfortable with excessive emotional intimacy tend to be attracted to anxious partners.

This pattern often creates a repetitive attachment dance: people with an anxious attachment style will consistently choose avoidant partners, and vice versa. This combination feels "right" because it reflects a familiar dynamic, even though it often ends in heartbreak.

4. Mere Exposure and Availability Effect

Cognitively, the more we are exposed to a certain type of person, the more likely we are to feel attracted to them (Mere Exposure Effect).

* If your social, work, or hobby environment consistently exposes you to a certain personality type (for example, an ambitious person or a sensitive artist), that type will become more familiar and accessible, increasing your likelihood of falling in love with them.

Besides deep psychological factors like love schemas and attachment patterns, there are several additional factors that often cause someone to repeatedly fall in love with the same type of person.

Social Environmental Factors (Availability)

The environment in which we move significantly limits our partner choices and increases our exposure to certain types.

* Homogeneous Social Circles: If you frequently hang out with groups of people who share similar socioeconomic status, education, or hobbies (for example, only hanging out with intellectual academics or only with highly ambitious entrepreneurs), you will naturally encounter and fall in love with people from that circle more often. Your environment creates a bias in partner availability.

* Mere-Exposure Effect: This psychological principle states that the more we are exposed to a stimulus (in this case, a certain personality type), the more likely we are to like or feel comfortable with it. If a "cool" or "ambitious" type is the norm in your environment, you are more likely to find that type normal and attractive.

* Biological and Chemical Factors

Physical and chemical attraction are often tied to certain repetitive characteristics.

 * Smell and Pheromones: Some research suggests that attraction, the first step toward love, can be influenced by chemical cues such as pheromones. Individuals may be biologically attracted to partners who are genetically different enough (for healthy genetic diversity) but are drawn to a particular physical or personality type associated with those chemical cues.

* Reward Response: Relationships with certain types may result in an intense release of feel-good hormones (such as dopamine and oxytocin), especially during the courtship phase. If a 'dramatic' or 'challenging' partner type triggers a stronger dopamine rush due to its unpredictability, the brain may learn to seek the same reward from similar partners in the future, creating an addictive cycle.

Self-Identity and Values

Your choice of partner can serve as validation of your self-image or values.

* Self-Validation Through Partners: A person may repeatedly choose a particular partner type because that type reinforces their self-image. For example:

* If you have a savior complex, you will continually seek out partners who are in trouble or need help (needy type).

 * If you place a high value on social status, you will continue to be attracted to powerful or successful people (high-status types).

* Your partner serves as an "accessory" that confirms your identity in the eyes of the world.

* Unchanging Core Values: Even if you want to change your partner type, if the core values you seek in a relationship (e.g., adventure, financial stability, or intellectuality) remain the same, then you will automatically limit yourself to the type of person who consistently embodies those values.

Active Listening Techniques to Improve Conflict in the Family

   Hi, today I want to share an interesting topic, namely "Active Listening Techniques to Improve Conflict in the Family",  The reason I chose this topic is because many people don't know how to be a loyal listener in the family circle, As far as I know, many people want to be understood and listened to, but they don't want to understand or listen to other people's inner voices, why they behave like that because they judge their family too much with very high expectations that they do not tolerate the weaknesses of their family members, here's a more in-depth discussion of active listening techniques to improve conflict resolution in the family, with an emphasis on practical applications and relevant examples:

 

Active Listening: The Key to Harmony in the Family

 

Conflict is an inevitable part of family life. However, how we manage these conflicts can make a big difference in the quality of relationships. Active listening is an essential skill that can help family members feel heard, understood, and valued, paving the way for more constructive conflict resolution.

 

Why is Active Listening Important in the Family?

 

- Building Trust: When family members feel genuinely listened to, they are more likely to trust each other. This trust is the foundation of healthy and harmonious relationships.

- Increasing Understanding: Active listening helps us understand the perspectives, feelings, and needs of others. This is especially important in families, where differences in age, experience, and personality can lead to misunderstandings.

- Reducing Tension: When someone feels heard, they tend to be calmer and more open to finding solutions. Active listening can diffuse heated emotions and create a more conducive atmosphere for productive discussion.

- Strengthening Emotional Bonds: Active listening shows that we care about and pay attention to others. This strengthens the emotional bonds between family members and creates a stronger sense of togetherness.

- Preventing Conflict Escalation: By listening actively, we can identify problems early and prevent them from developing into larger conflicts.

 

Effective Active Listening Techniques

 

Here are active listening techniques you can apply in everyday family interactions:

 

1. Focus Your Full Attention:

- Practice: When someone is speaking, give them your undivided attention. Turn off your phone, eliminate visual distractions, and focus on what they are saying.

- Example: When your child is telling you about their day at school, don't cook or check emails at the same time. Sit down, make eye contact, and show that you are genuinely interested in their story.

- Implication: This action demonstrates respect and appreciation for the speaker, creating a safe space for them to share their thoughts and feelings.

2. Use Supportive Body Language:

- Practice: Your body language can send a powerful message about whether you are really listening or not. Maintain reasonable eye contact, face your body toward the speaker, and use nods to show understanding.

- Example: If your partner is expressing their concerns about work, don't cross your arms or look away. Maintain an open body position and show facial expressions that demonstrate empathy.

- Implication: Positive body language encourages the speaker to feel comfortable and open, facilitating more honest and effective communication.

3. Refrain from Judging:

- Practice: Avoid making judgments or criticisms before you fully understand what the speaker is saying. Let them finish their thoughts without interruption.

- Example: If your child makes a mistake, don't scold them immediately. Listen to their explanation with an open mind and try to understand the reasons behind their actions.

- Implication: Refraining from judging creates a safe environment where family members feel comfortable sharing their truth, even if it's difficult.

4. Ask Clarifying Questions:

- Practice: If something is unclear, ask questions to make sure you understand the speaker's message correctly. Use open-ended questions that encourage them to provide more detail.

- Example: If your partner says they feel stressed, ask, "What's been making you feel stressed lately?" rather than just saying, "Relax."

- Implication: Clarifying questions show genuine interest and help avoid misunderstandings, ensuring that you are both on the same page.

5. Paraphrase and Reflect:

- Practice: Repeat or summarize what the speaker has said in your own words to make sure you understand it correctly. Reflect on the emotions they express to show empathy.

- Example: If your child says, "I hate school!," you can respond with, "So, you're feeling really unhappy with school right now. Is there something that's making you feel that way?"

- Implication: Paraphrasing and reflecting not only confirm your understanding but also validate the speaker's feelings, making them feel heard and understood.

6. Be Patient and Give Time:

- Practice: Sometimes, people need time to gather their thoughts and express their feelings. Be patient and give them space to speak without feeling pressured.

- Example: If a family member is struggling to express something difficult, don't force them. Let them know that you are there to listen whenever they are ready to talk.

- Implication: Patience creates a supportive environment where family members feel comfortable opening up in their own time, leading to more meaningful communication.

7. Avoid Interruptions and Distractions:

- Practice: Interruptions and distractions can disrupt the flow of conversation and make the speaker feel unvalued. Try to avoid interruptions and create a quiet environment for speaking.

- Example: When a family member is speaking, avoid checking your phone, interrupting with irrelevant comments, or diverting attention to something else.

- Implication: Avoiding interruptions shows respect and allows the speaker to fully convey their thoughts without feeling cut off or dismissed.

8. Validate Feelings:

- Practice: Validate other people's feelings, even if you don't agree with their perspective. Let them know that you understand how they feel and that their feelings are valid.

- Example: If your partner is angry about something that happened at work, don't dismiss their feelings by saying, "It's not that important." Instead, say, "I can see why you feel angry. That sounds really frustrating."

- Implication: Validating feelings builds empathy and shows support, creating stronger emotional bonds and encouraging more open communication.

 

Additional Scenario Example:

- Situation: A child feels stressed due to pressure to perform well in school.

- Active Listening Techniques:

- Parent: "Dad/Mom has noticed you seem very tense lately. Is there something bothering you?" (Full Attention, Open-Ended Question)

- Child: "I feel so stressed with all the homework and exams. I'm afraid I can't meet your expectations."

- Parent: "So, you're worried about not being able to meet our expectations. What makes you feel that way?" (Paraphrase, Clarifying Question)

- Child: "You always emphasize the importance of good grades. I'm afraid of disappointing you if I don't get perfect grades."

- Parent: "We understand that you feel pressured because we emphasize good grades. But what's most important to us is your happiness and health. Grades aren't everything. We will always support you, no matter what." (Empathy, Validation of Feelings, Appropriate Response)

 

Conclusion

Active listening is an essential skill that can help improve communication and conflict resolution in the family. By practicing the techniques outlined above, you can create a more open, supportive, and harmonious family environment. Remember that active listening is an ongoing process that requires patience, practice, and commitment from all family members."

Cognitive Psychology Strategies to Reduce Excessive Anxiety

.   Hi, today I want to share an interesting topic, namely "Cognitive Psychology Strategies to Reduce Excessive Anxiety", The reason I chose this topic is because not many people are able to reduce their anxiety when the situation is upsetting their mood, there are some people who actually do things that damage their bodies, such as getting drunk, taking anti-depressants, However, such methods are dangerous and rejected by the human body. To reduce excessive anxiety, cognitive behavioral strategies can be employed to help manage and alleviate symptoms. These strategies involve understanding anxiety, identifying triggers, challenging negative thoughts, and practicing relaxation techniques.

 

Understanding Anxiety and CBT

Anxiety is a natural response to stress but becomes a concern when excessive and interferes with daily life. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is a type of psychotherapy that addresses the relationships between thoughts, feelings, and behaviors to manage anxiety by changing negative thought patterns. CBT is effective because it is structured, goal-oriented, and provides practical skills for daily life.

 

Identifying Anxiety Triggers

Recognizing anxiety triggers is essential for developing coping strategies. Common triggers include internal factors like medical conditions, external factors like stressful life events, social and interpersonal issues, lifestyle choices such as caffeine consumption, and environmental factors like a cluttered home. Keeping a journal to track feelings, identify stressors, and reflect on past experiences can help uncover personal triggers.

 

Challenging Negative Thought Patterns

Anxiety is often fueled by negative thoughts that can spiral out of control. Techniques to reframe these thoughts include cognitive restructuring, which involves replacing unhelpful thoughts with more helpful ones. Thought records can also separate emotional responses from facts and challenge negative thoughts by gathering evidence for and against them.

 

Practicing Relaxation Techniques 

Mindful breathing techniques can help manage anxiety by influencing emotional and mental states. Controlled breathing, with a focus on elongated exhalation, and box breathing can reduce physiological symptoms of anxiety. Mindfulness, which involves being present and aware without judgment, can reduce rumination and enhance self-awareness.

 

Additional Strategies

Additional strategies to alleviate anxiety include gradual exposure to feared situations, setting realistic goals, challenging avoidance behaviors, and developing a balanced lifestyle with regular exercise, a healthy diet, and sufficient sleep. Seeking support from friends, family, or professionals can provide emotional support and different perspectives.

There are several methods to reduce exposure to worry, including:

 

'Peace of Mind' Method 

The "Peace of Mind" method is an approach used to cope with worries about uncertain situations, introduced by Tracy Kennedy, a personality development expert. This method consists of several steps:

 

1. Perspective: Realize that things are not always as bad as they seem. Take a step back to gain another perspective and consider the advice you would give to someone else in the same situation.

2. Excavate: Dig deeper to find out what you are really worried about. Identify the reasons behind your doubts and fears by continuously asking yourself until you find the real answer.

3. Accept: Accept uncertainty as part of life. Instead of constantly worrying about uncertain things, focus on moving on with your life and adapting to changes.

4. Catastrophize: Prepare for the worst-case scenario along with solutions. Evaluate the likelihood of the scenario occurring and bring yourself back to logical thinking.

5. Examine your level of control: Focus on the things you can control, such as your strengths, advantages, and experiences. Avoid focusing on external factors that you cannot control.

6. Friend: Open up to others about your fears and worries. Sharing problems can help reduce the burden and provide other perspectives and solutions.

7. Focus on the present: Focus on the life you are living now by utilizing lessons from the past to prepare for a better life in the future.

8. Meditate: Meditation can help calm the mind and reduce stress. Practice meditation regularly to increase peace of mind.

 

CBT treatment for anxiety may include discussing your feelings, finding out what triggers the anxiety, and discussing ways to change your thinking about triggering stimuli. Your therapist may also help you learn new ways to relax your mind and body, especially when facing anxiety. Some CBT providers will offer exposure therapy where you learn to manage anxiety through role-playing or controlled exposure to triggering stimuli.

 

Reduce Negativity Intake 

Reduce your intake of negativity, such as input from negative people, disturbing news online, or negativity on social media. Seeking out drama will only feed your fears instead of helping you conquer them.

 

Focus on the Present 

Focus your mind on the present moment, and take specific action on something you can control. For example, go for a walk or get a hug from someone you love. If you can do something about the situation that is causing you to worry, do it.

 

Vocalize Your Worries 

Vocalize your worries with someone else you trust. Sometimes, just hearing someone you trust dismiss your worries can be very helpful. 

By implementing these methods, you can reduce your exposure to worry and improve your quality of life.

Why do I feel motivated to study at night?

  Hi, today I want to share an interesting topic, namely "Why do I feel motivated to study at night?" The reason I chose this topic is because many people feel motivated when they study at night, based on expert observations, feeling more motivated to study late at night is a common experience for many individuals, and not just a coincidence. This phenomenon involves a complex interaction between biological, psychological, and environmental factors. Understanding the reasons behind it can help you optimize your study strategies.

 

Here's an in-depth explanation of why your motivation to study might peak at night:

 

1. Minimal Environmental Distractions (The Quiet Hours):

- Reduced Interruptions: Nighttime inherently offers a quieter environment. Phones rarely ring, social media notifications tend to slow down, and household activities (such as family conversations, television sounds, or chores) are drastically reduced.

- Deeper Focus: With minimal external distractions, your brain doesn't have to constantly shift its attention, allowing you to achieve deeper concentration and maintain a flow state (an optimal condition where you are completely immersed in an activity) for longer. This reduces the cognitive load required to filter out irrelevant information.

- Improved Learning Quality: A quiet environment supports more efficient information processing, helping you absorb and remember study material better.

2. Feelings of Calm and Peace (Psychological Calm):

- Relaxed Atmosphere: The quiet atmosphere of the night can create a sense of peace and tranquility. This psychologically supports activities that require reflective thinking and high concentration, such as studying.

- Reduced Social Pressure: At night, expectations to engage socially or fulfill other social obligations tend to be very low or even nonexistent. This gives you the mental freedom to fully focus on your study tasks without the added pressure from the social environment.

- Sense of Time Ownership: Some people feel that nighttime is "their own time," where they have complete control over their schedule and activities without interference from others.

3. Individual Chronotype (Circadian Rhythm) (Your Biological Clock):

- "Night Owls" vs. "Early Birds": Everyone has a different biological chronotype, which is the body's natural preference for sleeping and waking at certain times. If you are a "night owl," your peak energy levels, alertness, and cognitive function naturally occur at night or in the early morning.

- Biological Basis: This chronotype is regulated by your circadian rhythm, which is influenced by genetics, light exposure, and hormones like melatonin. Your brain is indeed designed to be more active and productive during those hours if you fall into the "night owl" category.

- Cognitive Efficiency: For "night owls," trying to study in the morning can feel like swimming against the current, while at night, the brain feels "alive" and ready to receive new information.

4. Procrastination and Deadline Pressure (Deadline-Driven Motivation):

- Urgent Impetus: If you tend to procrastinate studying throughout the day, nighttime often becomes the point where deadline pressure starts to feel very real. This sense of urgency can trigger a strong surge of motivation, forcing you to act immediately.

- Productive "Panic Mode": For some people, a little "panic" that arises at the end of the day can be an effective driver to start and complete work. This is a strong form of extrinsic motivation.

- Feeling of a "Fresh Start": Some also feel that starting to study at night after completing other daily activities gives a sense of a "fresh start" and a fresher focus on academic tasks.

5. Perception of Productivity and Autonomy (Sense of Control and Achievement):

- Sense of Superiority: Studying while others are resting can give a sense of accomplishment and superiority, as if you are making better use of your time than most people. This can be an internal motivational boost.

- Full Autonomy: Nighttime often offers greater flexibility and autonomy. You can set your own study schedule without having to adjust it to others' schedules or demands, giving a satisfying sense of control.

- Uninterrupted Environment: This uninterrupted environment allows you

How to overcome the fear of missing out with positive psychology

      Hi, today I want to share an interesting topic, namely "How to overcome the fear of missing out with positive psychology", the reason I choose this topic is because many people are trapped in the fear of being left behind by trends, from my observations, the reason many people are afraid of being left behind by trends is because their mindset is trained to pursue something out of themselves, besides that, they pursue something beyond their ability to hold responsibility, Based on psychology, overcoming the Fear of Missing Out (FOMO) focuses on changing mindsets and behaviors, rather than simply reducing social media use. The main strategy is to increase self-awareness and focus on real life.

1. Understand the Psychology Behind FOMO

FOMO is often triggered by social anxiety and social comparison. When we see the "highlights" of other people's lives on social media, we tend to compare ourselves and feel less interesting. This feeling can lead to anxiety, low self-esteem, and stress. FOMO is also related to the psychological need to belong and feel connected.

2. Psychology-Based Strategies

To effectively overcome FOMO, you can apply several approaches from psychology:

* Mindfulness Practice: Train yourself to focus on the present moment and what you're doing. When the urge to check your phone arises, acknowledge the feeling without judging yourself. Shift your attention back to the current activity, such as enjoying a meal, chatting with friends, or completing work. This helps you appreciate the moments you have, not the ones you're missing.

 * Change Your Mindset (Cognitive): Realize that social media often presents a highly selective and unrealistic version of people's lives. Remember that behind every picture-perfect vacation, there are also mundane moments and challenges that go unseen. Shift your perspective from "they're having fun without me" to "I have a valuable life of my own."

* Focus on Self-Worth and Life Purpose: Instead of comparing yourself to others, focus on your own accomplishments and values. Determine what's truly important to you—whether it's hobbies, career, relationships, or personal growth. When you have a clear sense of purpose, your energy will be directed toward building your own life, not observing the lives of others.

* Practice JOMO (Joy of Missing Out): This is the opposite of FOMO. JOMO is the feeling of contentment and peace that comes when you choose not to participate in an activity or trend because you know it doesn't align with your priorities or needs. Feeling comfortable with your own choices is key.

 * Manage Social Media Use: Set clear boundaries, such as setting specific times for checking social media or deleting apps that trigger FOMO most often. You can also proactively unfollow or mute accounts that make you feel uncomfortable, so your timeline is filled with positive and inspiring content.

Additional information, Here are 3 simple tips to transform FOMO (Fear of Missing Out) into JOMO (Joy of Missing Out):

Change Your Perspective

✅Instead of thinking, "I'm missing out," ask yourself, "What do I really need right now to feel peaceful and happy?"

✅Remember that not everything others do is relevant to your life. What you're missing doesn't necessarily mean it's essential for your growth.

Practice Mindfulness & Gratitude

✅Be aware of the present moment: take a deep breath, feel your body, and be grateful for the small things you have (such as quiet time, health, or learning opportunities).

✅This shifts your attention from "what's missing" to "what is."

Prioritize & Limit Exposure

✅Limit excessive social media scrolling, which often triggers FOMO.

✅Replace it with activities that truly align with your values and life goals, whether it's reading, exercising, talking with family, or simply taking a break.

 ✨ This way, you are not only “not afraid of missing out”, but also feel the joy of choosing the best for yourself.

Manifestation of a Diderot effect in reality

   Hi, today I want to share an interesting topic, namely "Manifestation of a Diderot effect in reality", The reason I chose this topic is because many young people experience the Diderot effect, they love the world excessively, please note that  The Diderot Effect is a psychological and consumer behavior phenomenon that describes how the acquisition of a single new item can trigger a "consumption spiral" that leads people to buy more items they don't actually need.

Simply put, it's the tendency to feel that our old possessions no longer match or coordinate with the new ones we've just purchased. To overcome this incongruity, we feel compelled to purchase additional new items to make everything seem "right" or "complete."

Origin of the Term

The name "Diderot Effect" comes from the story of the 18th-century French philosopher Denis Diderot. Diderot, who lived a simple life, one day received a very luxurious red robe as a gift from a friend. This new robe delighted him. However, he soon realized that the luxurious robe did not match the furniture in his modest study.

This feeling of incongruity drove him to buy a new, more expensive carpet, then a new, more elegant desk, and so on until he had replaced almost all of his furniture to match his new robe. As a result, Diderot fell into debt and ultimately regretted his decision. She wrote an essay titled "Regrets on Parting with My Old Dressing Gown" recounting this experience.

Examples of the Diderot Effect in Everyday Life

The Diderot Effect is very common in modern life. Some examples include:

* Clothing: You buy a fashionable new outfit. Then you realize your old shoes and bag don't match, so you buy new ones. Then you feel the need to buy other accessories like a watch or jewelry to complete your look.

* Home Furnishings: You buy a modern new sofa for the living room. Suddenly, your old coffee table, bookshelf, and lamp look dated and out of place. You start buying other new furniture to create a harmonious look.

* Electronic Gadgets: You buy the latest smartphone. Afterward, you feel the need to buy a matching case, a wireless charger, even a smartwatch or headphones from the same brand to ensure everything integrates seamlessly.

Why is the Diderot Effect Dangerous?

The Diderot Effect can be harmful to your finances because it can lead to uncontrolled spending. One small purchase can trigger a series of other purchases that are much larger than planned. This can trap someone in an unhealthy cycle of consumption, making it difficult for them to distinguish between needs and wants, and ultimately leading to financial problems.

The Diderot Effect occurs when one new purchase triggers a series of other purchases to make everything look "harmonious" or "matched," often leading to unplanned consumption. This phenomenon is named after the experience of philosopher Denis Diderot, who, after receiving a new robe, felt his old items didn't match, so he bought many other new items.

How to Avoid the Diderot Effect

✅Recognize the Pattern

Recognize the signs: buying one new item makes you want to replace another item that is still usable.

Make a note before and after purchasing: "Do I really need to replace the other item?"

✅Define Values and Lifestyle

Understand what's truly important: function, comfort, or a specific aesthetic value.

Focus on a minimalist lifestyle or functional values, not trends or visual harmony alone.

Have a Specific Budget

✅Separate your budget for needs and wants.

Use the cooling-off period principle: wait 24–72 hours before purchasing additional items after a major purchase.

✅ Prioritize Quality, Not Collection

Buy items that are durable and won't go out of style easily.

Resist the temptation to "complete the set."

✅Use the "One In, One Out" Principle

When buying new items, consider letting go of old ones.

This helps keep the focus on needs, not on a consumerist lifestyle.

✅Manage Your Visual Environment (Triggers)

Reduce exposure to advertisements, influencers, or content that triggers the desire to update your look.

Avoid lingering in online stores or malls without a clear purpose.

✅Keep Long-Term Financial Goals in Mind

Link each purchase to a larger goal (e.g., saving for an emergency fund, investing, or a vacation).

Ask: "Is this purchase moving me closer to or further away from my primary goal?"

What is the human thinking type like from a philosophical perspective?

  Hi, today I want to share an interesting topic, namely about how humans think from a philosophical perspective, Understanding human thought from a philosophical perspective is a profound and complex journey, as philosophy itself is about questioning and reflecting on the foundations of existence, knowledge, values, reason, thought, and language. Human thought has been a central subject in various branches of philosophy for thousands of years.

Here are some of the main philosophical perspectives on human thought:

1. Rationalism

Key Figures: René Descartes, Baruch Spinoza, Gottfried Wilhelm Leibniz

* Core of Thought: Rationalism emphasizes that reason (ratio) is the primary source of knowledge and truth. The human mind has an innate capacity to understand reality through logic, deduction, and intellectual intuition, independent of sensory experience.

* Mode of Thought: Humans think using deductive reasoning from clear and distinct principles (e.g., mathematical axioms or innate ideas). Truth is considered accessible through pure thought, as in Descartes' famous statement: "I think, therefore I am" (Cogito, ergo sum). This suggests that consciousness and thought are the most fundamental evidence of existence.

 * Focus: A priori knowledge (knowledge independent of experience), the universality of truth, and the innate capacities of the mind.

2. Empiricism

Key Figures: John Locke, George Berkeley, David Hume

* Core Thought: Empiricism holds that sensory experience is the primary source of all knowledge. The human mind is initially a tabula rasa (blank slate) filled by experience.

* Way of Thinking: Humans think by collecting data from the senses, then analyzing, associating, and generalizing ideas from those experiences. The ideas or concepts we possess are copies or combinations of sensory impressions. Hume even argued that causality (a cause-and-effect relationship) is simply a habit of the mind that sees two events as always occurring together, not something inherently present in reality.

* Focus: A posteriori knowledge (knowledge derived from experience), the importance of observation, and the role of sensory data in shaping thought.

3. Idealism

Key Figures: George Berkeley, Immanuel Kant (Transcendental Idealism), G.W.F. Hegel

* Core Thought: Idealism asserts that reality is fundamentally mental or ideational. What we perceive as the physical world is actually a construct of the mind, or dependent on the mind.

* Way of Thinking:

* Berkeley (Subjective Idealism): "Existence is perceived" (Esse est percipi). Objects do not exist unless they are perceived by the mind. Therefore, human thought creates reality through their perceptions.

* Kant (Transcendental Idealism): Kant attempted to bridge rationalism and empiricism. He argued that the human mind does not passively receive data, but rather actively organizes and shapes sensory experience through innate categories of reason (such as space, time, causality). We cannot know the 'thing in itself' (Ding an sich), but only what appears to us, filtered and shaped by our cognitive structure.

 * Hegel (Absolute Idealism): The mind is part of the Universal Spirit (Geist) that develops through a dialectical process (thesis, antithesis, synthesis). Human thought is a manifestation of this Spirit's development toward complete self-understanding.

* Focus: The role of the mind in shaping reality, the limits of human knowledge, and the subjective or mental nature of existence.

4. Phenomenology

Key Figures: Edmund Husserl, Martin Heidegger, Maurice Merleau-Ponty

* Core of Thought: Phenomenology seeks to study phenomena or experiences as they appear in consciousness, without preconceptions or assumptions about external existence. The goal is to understand the essential structure of consciousness and experience.

* Way of Thinking: Through "epoche" (withholding judgment) or phenomenological reduction, humans attempt to set aside assumptions about the external world and focus on how the object or experience is presented directly to consciousness. This is a highly reflective and introspective way of thinking, aiming to reveal the essence of conscious experience. Merleau-Ponty adds the dimension of the lived body as central to perception and experience.

 * Focus: Conscious experience, intentionality of consciousness (consciousness is always about something), and the essence of how we experience the world.

5. Existentialism

Key Figures: Søren Kierkegaard, Jean-Paul Sartre, Albert Camus

* Core Thought: Existentialism emphasizes individual freedom, responsibility, and meaning in human existence. "Existence precedes essence," meaning that humans first exist and then define themselves through their choices and actions.

* Way of Thinking: Humans think by confronting the anxiety, absurdity, and responsibility of their choices in a world devoid of inherent meaning. Thinking here is the process of confronting the burden of freedom and creating personal meaning in a life lacking a predetermined purpose. It involves an awareness of mortality, finitude, and the need to act authentically.

* Focus: Freedom, individual responsibility, the meaning of life, existential anxiety, and authenticity.

6. Pragmatism

Key Figures: Charles Sanders Peirce, William James, John Dewey

* Core Thought: Pragmatism assesses truth and meaning based on their practical consequences and usefulness. An idea is true or meaningful if it works in practice and has verifiable effects.

* Ways of Thinking: Humans think with a focus on problem-solving and adaptation. Ideas are tested through experimentation and experience. Truth is not static, but rather dynamic and constantly evolving based on practical results. Thinking is a tool for acting and functioning in the world.

* Focus: Practical consequences, utility, problem-solving, and the instrumental nature of knowledge.

Each of these perspectives offers a different lens for understanding the complexity of the human mind. They are not necessarily mutually exclusive, and many philosophers attempt to integrate insights from different traditions. Studying the philosophy of human thought helps us be more critical of how we construct knowledge, understand reality, and live our lives.

Why do people tend to prioritize ego over logic when arguing?

  If we see the modern era, people like to debate but not everyone knows why they need to debate, here’s why people are naturally drawn to debate:

1. Natural Desire to Be Right

Being right = feeling competent or intelligent.

Our brain rewards this with pleasure (dopamine), making it feel good to argue for our view.

2. Assertion of Identity

Debating allows people to express "who they are" — their values, beliefs, and worldview.

It’s a way to defend and showcase personal or group identity.

3. Social Status & Power

Winning arguments can boost respect, influence, or authority in a group.

In many cases (work, politics, media), debate is a tool to gain or protect status.

4. Mental Stimulation

Debates activate problem-solving, logic, and creativity.

Some enjoy debates the same way others enjoy puzzles or strategy games — for intellectual excitement.

5. Emotional Release

Debating lets people vent frustrations or emotions in a structured way.

It feels like a safe outlet to process inner tensions.

6. Need for Belonging or Group Defense

Debating helps defend shared values of a community or tribe.

It creates a sense of "us versus them", strengthening in-group unity.

7. Curiosity & Learning (for some)

People who value truth-seeking or intellectual growth debate to test their ideas, get feedback, or learn something new.

In short:

> People debate because it satisfies ego, identity, status, emotion, curiosity, and connection needs — all deeply wired in human psychology.

Here are key reasons why people often prioritize ego over logic in arguments:

1. Self-Identity Protection (Ego Defense)

People's beliefs are deeply tied to their sense of self.

When a belief is challenged, the brain often treats it like a threat to identity, triggering defensive behavior rather than rational analysis.

This is called the "ego defense mechanism" — protecting self-worth is prioritized over accepting uncomfortable truths.

2. Emotional Brain Overrides Logical Brain

The amygdala (emotional center) can hijack the prefrontal cortex (logic/reason center) when a person feels attacked or humiliated.

This is why arguments often "heat up" — the brain switches to fight-or-flight mode, not calm reasoning.

3. Fear of Being "Wrong" = Fear of Inferiority

Admitting error feels like losing status or respect.

Many cultures (especially competitive or hierarchical ones) teach that being wrong is shameful rather than a path to learning.

4. Confirmation Bias

People instinctively seek evidence that confirms their beliefs and ignore or devalue evidence that contradicts them.

This bias fuels ego protection and prevents logical openness.

5. Social and Cultural Pressures

In public arguments, pride and face-saving matter.

Even if logic suggests they are wrong, people may defend their stance to avoid embarrassment or loss of authority.

6. Cognitive Dissonance

When facts conflict with long-held beliefs, the discomfort (dissonance) makes people defend their position rather than adjust it.

Defending the ego becomes a way to reduce this inner tension.

In short:

Protecting the self feels more urgent than protecting the truth.

Admitting error threatens the self; defending it, even irrationally, feels safer.

What's the Pygmalion effect doing for human

The Pygmalion effect is a psychological phenomenon where higher expectations placed on individuals lead to improved performance. It suggests that people tend to rise (or fall) to meet the expectations others have of them, especially in hierarchical relationships like teacher-student, manager-employee, or parent-child.

Key Points:

1. Origin: Named after the Greek myth of Pygmalion, a sculptor who fell in love with his statue (Galatea), which then came to life due to his belief and desire. The concept was popularized in psychology by Robert Rosenthal and Lenore Jacobson (1968) through a famous study in education.

   

2. Rosenthal-Jacobson Experiment:  

   - Teachers were told that certain randomly selected students were "late bloomers" with high potential.  

   - By the end of the year, those students showed significantly greater IQ gains, simply because teachers unconsciously treated them differently (e.g., offering more encouragement, challenging tasks, or positive feedback).

3. Mechanism:  

   - Expectations → Behavior: A leader's beliefs influence their actions (e.g., giving more attention or resources).  

   - Behavior → Performance: The recipient internalizes these expectations and adjusts their effort/self-belief.  

   - Reinforcement: Improved performance validates the initial expectations, creating a cycle.

4. Applications:  

   - Education: Teacher expectations impact student achievement.  

   - Workplace: Managers' beliefs about employees affect productivity.  

   - Self-Fulfilling Prophecy: The effect can be positive (high expectations → success) or negative (low expectations → poor outcomes).

5. Opposite Effect: The Golem effect describes how low expectations lead to worse performance.

Example:

A manager who believes a team member is highly capable may delegate more challenging tasks, provide support, and offer praise, leading the employee to excel. Conversely, low expectations may result in neglect and reduced morale.

The Pygmalion effect highlights the power of belief and perception in shaping reality, emphasizing the importance of fostering positive expectations in leadership and education.

Here are some real-world examples of the Pygmalion effect in action:  

1. Education: The "Late Bloomers" Study (Rosenthal & Jacobson, 1968)  

   - **What happened**: Researchers told elementary school teachers that certain randomly selected students were "intellectual bloomers" destined for rapid academic growth.  

   - Result: By the end of the year, these students showed significantly higher IQ gains compared to their peers—simply because teachers unconsciously gave them more attention, encouragement, and challenging material.  

2. Workplace: Manager Expectations & Employee Performance 

   - Example: A tech company manager believes a new hire is a "high-potential" employee (even if they’re average). The manager assigns them key projects, provides mentorship, and gives constructive feedback.  

   - Result: The employee gains confidence, works harder, and eventually performs at a higher level—validating the manager’s initial belief.  

3. Military: The Israeli Defense Forces Experiment 

   - What happened: Trainees randomly labeled as "high-potential" by commanders (without actual merit) performed better in drills and leadership tasks.  

   - Why? Instructors gave them more responsibility, support, and trust, which boosted their skills.  

4. Sports: Coaches & Athletes 

   - Example: A soccer coach tells a player, "You have the talent to be a star," and gives them extra training and playtime.  

   - Result: The athlete trains harder, gains confidence, and outperforms peers who weren’t given the same belief.  

5. Self-Fulfilling Prophecy in Parenting 

   - Scenario: A parent constantly tells their child, "You’re great at math!" and encourages problem-solving.  

   - Outcome: The child internalizes this belief, enjoys math more, and excels—even if they initially struggled.  

Negative Example (Golem Effect):  

   - A teacher assumes a student is "slow" and avoids calling on them. The student disengages, stops trying, and falls behind—confirming the low expectation.  

Key Takeaway:  

The Pygmalion effect shows that belief shapes reality. High expectations + supportive actions often lead to improved performance, whether in schools, workplaces, or personal growth. Leaders, teachers, and mentors can use this to inspire success—but must also avoid unfairly low expectations that hold people back.  

Do the mirroring psychology in sales is key to sell the product

  Hi all, today I would like to share about the interesting topic, namely "Do the mirroring psychology in sales is key to sell the product", the main reason why I choose that topic because not everyone is aware how to do mirroring psychology during selling the product to the customer, If we use the mirror method in sales, we are not afraid of sales becoming quieter because we can show "what customers want" without forcing them to buy the product, What we can do when selling is focus on customer reactions to the products we provide, we cannot do psychological reflection if we do not pay attention to what attracts customers, Mirroring in psychology refers to subtly imitating another person's behaviors, speech patterns, or attitudes to build rapport and trust. In sales, mirroring can be a powerful technique to create a connection with potential clients and make them feel understood. Here's how to effectively use mirroring in sales:

1. Mirror Body Language

Observe the client's posture, gestures, and physical movements.

Subtly mimic their stance or movements (e.g., if they lean forward, you can slightly lean forward as well).

Avoid being obvious or exaggerated, as this can seem inauthentic.

2. Match Their Tone and Pace

Listen to how they speak. Are they soft-spoken or energetic? Fast or slow in their speech?

Match their tone, volume, and speaking pace to make communication feel natural and aligned.

3. Reflect Their Words and Phrases

Use similar vocabulary or repeat key phrases they use. For example, if they say, "I’m looking for something reliable," emphasize "reliable" in your response.

Paraphrase their concerns or questions to show understanding.

4. Align with Their Emotional State

Observe their emotional cues (e.g., excitement, hesitation, or concern).

Respond empathetically to reflect their mood. If they seem hesitant, adopt a calm and reassuring demeanor.

5. Adapt to Their Decision-Making Style

Determine if they are data-driven, relationship-oriented, or focused on benefits.

Mirror their approach by presenting information in a way that aligns with their preferences.

6. Use Similar Communication Channels

If they prefer email, focus on well-written messages. If they are more conversational, prioritize calls or meetings.

Mirror their level of formality or casualness in communication.

7. Practice Active Listening

Pay close attention to what they are saying without interrupting.

Nod, smile, or provide verbal affirmations (“I see,” “That makes sense”) to show engagement.

8. Maintain Authenticity

While mirroring, ensure that your actions feel natural and genuine.

Over-mirroring or being too obvious can break trust instead of building it.

Why Mirroring Works in Sales

Mirroring taps into a psychological principle known as the chameleon effect, where people tend to like and trust those who are similar to them, By mirroring your client's behaviors and communication style, you create a sense of familiarity, which can lower barriers and foster trust. Applying mirroring psychology in sales can be straightforward with practice, but it requires attention to detail, emotional intelligence, and subtlety. Here's a breakdown of the challenges and how to overcome them:

Why It May Feel Difficult at First

1. Awareness and Observation Skills

You need to be highly observant of body language, tone, and speech patterns. Beginners might find it challenging to focus on these cues while simultaneously thinking about the sales process.

2. Maintaining Subtlety

Overdoing mirroring can come across as insincere or awkward. Learning to mirror naturally without being obvious takes practice.

3. Adapting in Real-Time

Sales conversations can be fast paced, requiring you to quickly analyze and adapt to the client’s behavior. This might be overwhelming for those new to sales or mirroring techniques.

4. Balancing Authenticity

Striking a balance between mirroring and being yourself is crucial.

If you over-focus on mirroring, you may lose authenticity, which could harm trust.

How to Make It Easier

1. Start Small

Begin by mirroring one aspect, such as tone of voice or pace of speech, and gradually incorporate more elements like gestures or posture.

2. Practice Regularly

Practice with colleagues, friends, or family to make mirroring a natural habit. Role-playing sales scenarios can help build confidence.

3. Focus on Active Listening

Being an attentive listener makes it easier to pick up on verbal and nonverbal cues you can mirror.

Listening also ensures your responses feel genuine.

4. Stay Relaxed and Authentic

Don’t force mirroring; allow it to flow naturally within the conversation. Focus on understanding the client’s needs first, with mirroring as a tool to build rapport.

5. Reflect After Conversations

Analyze your sales interactions to identify what worked and what felt unnatural. This helps refine your mirroring technique over time.

6. Observe Experts

Watch experienced salespeople or negotiators who use mirroring effectively.

Note how they adapt to different clients without being overt.

Bottom Line

While applying mirroring psychology may seem challenging initially, it becomes intuitive with consistent effort and awareness. The key is to focus on genuinely connecting with the client rather than just mimicking behaviors. When done well, it feels seamless and can significantly improve your sales outcomes.

Why is failure a good teacher for personal development

   Hi all, today I would like to share about the interesting topic, namely "Why is failure a good teacher for personal development" the main reason why I choose the topic because not everyone is ready to accept failure as personal development, The terminology of failure in psychology refers to the cessation or termination of an effort that is considered a failure by an individual or group. This concept is often associated with a situation where someone chooses to stop an activity or effort because they feel that the desired goal will not be achieved, or because they experience obstacles that are considered insurmountable, on the other hand, failure can develop human's sense of innovation and enhance human's perception, 

Important Aspects of Termination Failure:

1. Personal Assessment: A person usually makes a subjective evaluation of the possibility of success. If the evaluation shows that the effort made is not producing results, then termination may occur.

2. Psychological Effects: Stopping an effort can give rise to negative feelings such as guilt, disappointment, or shame. However, in some cases, this actually brings a sense of relief and opens up opportunities to focus on other things.

3. The Concept of "Sunk Cost Fallacy": Sometimes, people find it difficult to end a business because too much time, energy, or resources have been invested. Healthy termination failure actually helps someone avoid the effects of this trap.

4. Resilience: After experiencing termination failure, the ability to get up and try something new (resilience) becomes important to overcome the psychological impact.

The Case Example:

✅A student who continues to struggle in a study program that does not match his interests or abilities finally decides to drop out and switch to another major.

✅A businessman who closes his business after years of losses to start a new business with better opportunities.

Termination of failure is not always a negative thing. If done with mature reflection, this decision can be an important step in self-development and future planning. Basically, Failure will not adhere to our mind if we are interested to hone our skill, Changing the perception of failure to opportunity requires a conscious and gradual approach. 

Here are some steps that can help to change our perception towards failure:

1. Reframe Failure

Redefine failure: Think of failure as a learning experience, not the end of the world. Every failure teaches a valuable lesson.

See failure as a process: Remember that success is often the result of overcoming failure.

2. Focus on Learning

Ask what can be learned: What can be improved or avoided in the future? This approach helps shift the focus from “pain” to “growth.”

Record the experience: Writing down the lessons learned from the failure helps reinforce the positive benefits of the experience.

3. Practice a Growth Mindset

Believe that abilities can be developed: Instead of thinking “I can’t,” change to “I can’t yet.”

Embrace challenges: Think of challenges as opportunities to improve, not obstacles.

4. Use Reframing Techniques

Change the internal narrative: Change “I failed” to “I learned something important.”

 Question negative assumptions: If you feel like failure means the end, ask, “What evidence supports this?”

5. Get Inspired by Others

Learn from success stories: Many great people like Thomas Edison or Oprah Winfrey experienced failure before they achieved success.

Join a community: Get support from positive people.

6. Practice Gratitude

Grateful for the process, not just the outcome: Focus on the effort that was put in, regardless of the outcome.

Look on the bright side: Find something good that came out of the failure, such as a new experience or a new skill.

7. Take Proactive Action

Take small steps to get back on your feet: Don’t dwell on failure for too long, start planning your next move. Create new opportunities: Use failure as an opportunity to try a different approach.

With practice and time, your perception of failure can change to be more positive and productive. What you think is the foundation of how you feel and act, hopefully this article can help us how to improve your life, good luck.

Why training to failure is good for thinking ability

   Hi all, today I would like to share about the interestiing topic, namely "Why training to failure is good for thinking ability"  the main reason why I choose that topic because not everyone is ready to accept failure, if you ask me why we need to train ourselves to taste failure because it can help us to reframe our perception towards our skill and progressive action, Most people dislike or fear failure due to psychological, societal, and emotional factors. Here are the primary reasons:

1. Fear of Judgment

Social Pressure: Society often equates failure with weakness or incompetence, leading people to fear being judged or ridiculed.

Perfectionism: Many feel they must succeed to be valued or respected.

2. Loss of Self-Worth

Identity Tied to Success: People often link their sense of self-worth to achievements. Failure can feel like a personal inadequacy.

Imposter Syndrome: Failure may reinforce the fear of being "found out" as unworthy.

3. Emotional Discomfort

Shame and Embarrassment: Failing can trigger feelings of humiliation, especially if the failure is public.

Fear of Disappointment: Letting others or oneself down is emotionally difficult.

4. Fear of Consequences

Tangible Losses: Failure can lead to financial, career, or personal setbacks.

Uncertainty: Not knowing what happens next after failing can feel destabilizing.

5. Cultural Conditioning

Many cultures emphasize success over effort, making failure seem unacceptable.

In schools and workplaces, mistakes are often get something humiliation and people will get punished rather than they are treated as learning opportunities.

6. Lack of Coping Skills

Poor Emotional Regulation: People may not know how to manage the frustration, anger, or sadness associated with failure.

Fixed Mindset: Believing that abilities are innate can lead to viewing failure as proof of permanent inadequacy.

7. Past Negative Experiences

Previous failures, especially those that led to harsh criticism or significant loss, can create a fear of repeating the experience.

8. Comparison to Others

Seeing others succeed can make failure feel magnified, leading to feelings of inadequacy.

9. Fear of Rejection

Failure can feel like a rejection by others, especially in relationships or professional settings.

10. Unrealistic Expectations

Setting unattainably high standards can make any outcome short of perfection feel like failure.

Understanding these reasons can help individuals reframe their perspective on failure, seeing it as a learning opportunity rather than a definitive judgment of their abilities or character.

Good opinion says training someone to embrace and even love failure involves reshaping their perspective and encouraging them to see failure as a vital part of growth. Here are some steps to achieve this:

1. Reframe Failure as Feedback

Teach Growth Mindset: Help them understand that failure is not a measure of their worth but a step toward improvement. Encourage phrases like, "What can I learn from this?" instead of, "I failed."

Celebrate Small Wins: Recognize efforts and lessons learned, even if the outcome isn’t perfect.

2. Normalize Failure

Share Stories of Successful Failures: Talk about famous people (e.g., Edison, Oprah) who failed before succeeding.

Model It: Share your own failures openly and discuss how you overcame them or what you learned.

3. Encourage Risk-Taking

Create safe spaces where mistakes are acceptable, even encouraged.

Offer challenges slightly outside their comfort zone to foster resilience and confidence.

4. Teach Emotional Regulation

Help them manage the emotions that come with failure, like disappointment or frustration, through mindfulness or journaling, Remind them that setbacks are temporary.

5. Deconstruct the Fear of Failure

Ask “What’s the Worst That Could Happen?”: Break down irrational fears to show that failure is rarely catastrophic.

Focus on Effort Over Outcome: Praise persistence and creativity instead of solely results.

6. Encourage Reflection

After failures, ask reflective questions:

What went wrong?

What did you learn?

What will you do differently next time?

7. Foster a Supportive Environment

Surround them with people who view failure positively.

Encourage teamwork where collective problem-solving thrives over individual blame.

8. Gamify Failure

Treat challenges like games, where failure is just another move in the process of learning.

9. Reward Resilience

Celebrate efforts to persevere after a failure rather than focusing solely on avoiding failure in the first place.

10. Provide Role Models

Encourage following individuals or mentors who embrace failure as a pathway to success.

By shifting the mindset from fearing failure to valuing it as a natural part of success, individuals can become more resilient, creative, and willing to take meaningful risks, hopefully this article can give you an insight how to improve your career, good luck.