The waiting phase prevents a person from growing mentally

    Hi, today I would like to share about the interesting topic, namely "The waiting phase prevents a person from growing mentally", the main reason why I choose that topic because not everyone is aware about the phase where they get into it, If we pay attention, those who do not pay attention to the direction in which their life is developing, they tend to enter a waiting phase,  The waiting phase is often a period of uncertainty, yet also a transitional space for growth. Psychologically, this is not merely a pause in time, but a mental state in which a person feels their life is being ‘held back’ by external factors or unresolved decisions.

The following are the factors that cause a person to enter this phase and how psychology views them:

Factors Leading to the Waiting Phase

 *Ambiguity of Purpose: Uncertainty regarding the next step following an achievement (for example, after graduating or completing a major project).

 *External Dependency: Waiting for validation or a decision from another party, such as recruitment results, bureaucratic approval, or a response in an interpersonal relationship.

 *Defence Mechanism (Avoidance): Sometimes, waiting becomes a form of subconscious procrastination to avoid the risk of failure that might occur if they move forward.

 *Lack of Resources: Feeling that one does not yet have sufficient capacity (financial, mental, or skills) to begin the next stage.

Psychological Perspectives on the Waiting Phase

In psychological discourse, this phase is often viewed from several key perspectives:

1. Liminality (The In-Between Space)

The concept of liminality describes the condition of being ‘on the threshold’. A person is no longer in their old position, but has not yet reached the new one. Psychology views this as a crucial transitional period for identity formation, though it is often accompanied by anxiety due to the loss of clear structure.

2. Uncertainty Tolerance

Cognitive psychology highlights how each individual responds to uncertainty. Those with low tolerance tend to experience severe stress and perceive the waiting phase as a threat. Conversely, individuals with high tolerance view it as an opportunity for reflection.

3. Expectancy Theory

According to Victor Vroom, a person’s motivation is heavily influenced by the expectation that their efforts will yield results. During the waiting phase, if the link between ‘effort’ and ‘outcome’ becomes unclear, a person may experience a drastic drop in motivation or even learned helplessness.

4. Existentialism: The Search for Meaning

From the perspective of logotherapy, the waiting phase is a moment in which the individual is tested to find meaning amidst emptiness. Rather than viewing it as wasted time, this approach suggests transforming ‘waiting time’ into ‘preparation time’ to maintain internal control over one’s life.

Important Note: The waiting phase becomes destructive if it turns into total passivity. Psychology suggests continuing to perform ‘Micro-Actions’—small actions that remain under personal control—to maintain mental well-being during this period.

Why do people believe in hope more than reality

    Hi, today I would like to share about the interesting topic, namely "Why do people believe in hope more than reality?, the main reason why I choose that topic because many people are trapped in optimism bias and confirmation bias, The phenomenon whereby people prefer to believe in hope rather than hard facts is often referred to as ‘optimism bias’ or, in cognitive psychology, is closely linked to ‘confirmation bias’. Psychologically and neurologically, people like to feel something different than they usually get, sometimes a feeling of optimism can provide a new outlet to avoid boredom in daily activities.

there are several fundamental reasons why this occurs:

1. Defence Mechanisms

Hope acts as a mental shield against anxiety. Facts are often bitter, cold, and uncontrollable. If people were to live solely on the basis of bleak facts (for example: high unemployment figures or the risk of illness), the human mind could become paralysed by anxiety. Hope provides a sense of illusory control that allows us to continue functioning and acting even when the situation is unfavourable.

2. The Narrative Fallacy

The human brain is wired to prefer stories (narratives) over statistical data. Facts often present themselves as numbers or random realities. Conversely, hope usually takes the form of a narrative with a happy ending. We tend to cast ourselves as the ‘hero’ in our own life story, and a hero must triumph at the end of the story, regardless of the facts encountered along the way.

3. The Theory of Loss Aversion and Wishful Thinking

In behavioural psychology, there is a strong tendency towards Wishful Thinking. We form beliefs based on what is pleasant to imagine, rather than on available evidence. This occurs because:

 *Dopamine: Imagining success or positive outcomes triggers the release of dopamine in the brain, providing an instant sense of comfort.

 *Avoiding Regret: Acknowledging bad facts means having to accept failure or loss, which is emotionally far more painful than clinging to hope.

4. The Backfire Effect

When facts that starkly contradict our beliefs or hopes emerge, the brain often perceives them as a physical threat. Rather than accepting these facts, our nervous system reinforces old beliefs to protect our sense of self. This is why the more someone is confronted with facts that shatter their hopes, the more stubbornly they may cling to those hopes.

5. Evolutionary Value

From an evolutionary perspective, hope is a driving force. Early humans who were ‘too realistic’ might not have dared to migrate over mountains or attempt to hunt larger animals because the facts showed it was dangerous. It was those humans who possessed a touch of ‘irrationality’ in the form of hope who dared to take risks, innovate, and ultimately survive.

> “Facts tell us where we stand, but hope tells us where we can go.”

Philosophically, this is similar to the concept of Amor Fati (loving one’s fate) but with the added element of a desire to transcend that reality. Humans require a certain dose of distortion of reality to avoid falling into existential despair.

Building a child’s self-confidence amidst their parents’ divorce

    Hi, today I would like to share about the interesting topic, namely "Building a child’s self-confidence amidst their parents’ divorce", the main reason why I choose that topic because not many parents consider their children's feeling when they decide to break up the relationship, many children lose their self-confidence when their parents divorce, for your information, Building a child’s self-confidence amidst their parents’ divorce is a process that requires emotional sensitivity. In psychology, divorce is often regarded as an ‘ambiguous loss’, where the parents are still physically present but the family structure that provided a sense of security has collapsed.

Here are some practical steps and psychological insights to help children remain resilient:

1. Provide Certainty (Predictability)

Psychologically, children feel insecure because they feel they have lost control over their lives. When the family unit breaks down, their world feels unsafe.

 *Stable Routines: Maintain meal, school, and sleep schedules as consistent as possible. Routines create a sense of security that forms the foundation of self-confidence.

 *Honest Explanations: Use age-appropriate language. Tell them it is not their fault. Children tend to internalise the situation, blaming themselves for the divorce.

2. Validate Emotions (Don’t Ignore Them)

Self-confidence grows when children feel understood. Do not force children to always be ‘happy’ or ‘strong’.

 *Reflecting Feelings: If the child is angry or sad, say: “Mum/Dad knows this is hard for you, and it’s okay to feel sad.”

 *Attachment Theory: Ensure the child knows that although the relationship between the parents has ended, the parent-child bond will never break. This maintains their secure base.

3. Encourage Independence and Competence

Help children find areas where they can ‘succeed’ or excel.

 *Hobbies and Interests: Support them in sports, the arts, or academics. Success outside the home will help offset the sense of heartbreak they feel at home.

 *Small Responsibilities: Give them light household tasks they can complete. Successfully completing small tasks will build self-efficacy (belief in one’s own abilities).

A Psychological Perspective on the Impact of Divorce

Modern psychology views the impact of divorce on children through several key lenses:

A. Erik Erikson’s Theory of Development

Depending on the child’s age, divorce can disrupt their developmental stages. For example, at school age, children are in the Industry vs. Inferiority stage. If parental conflict is too dominant, children may feel inferior because they perceive their family as ‘different’ or ‘failed’.

B. The Concept of a ‘Fragmented Self-Esteem’

Children often see themselves as a part of both parents. If one parent disparages the other, the child unconsciously feels that half of their identity is flawed.

 *Advice: Avoid using the child as a messenger or a sounding board for parental issues.

C. Resilience

Positive psychology emphasises that divorce does not necessarily ruin a child’s future. If a child receives consistent emotional support from at least one stable adult figure, they can develop strong resilience—the ability to bounce back from trauma.

Important Note: > If a child exhibits drastic behavioural changes such as complete withdrawal, a sharp decline in academic performance, or prolonged sleep disturbances, consulting a child psychologist is strongly recommended to provide a safe space for them to process their grief.

Being an authentic person who does not side with any group

   Hi, today I would like to share about the interesting topic, namely " "Being an authentic person who does not side with any group", the main reason why I choose that topic because many people try to imitate other people's behavior, let me clarify something: Being an authentic person does not mean being ‘perfect’, but rather being true to yourself amidst the demands of a society that often forces us to wear a ‘mask’.

Here are some practical steps to build personal authenticity based on a psychological approach:

1. Identify your ‘Core Values’

People often feel lost because they live according to other people’s values. To be authentic, you need to know what truly matters to you.

 *Exercise: Choose 3–5 words that represent your life principles (e.g. Honesty, Freedom, Creativity, or Dedication).

 *Application: Use these values as a compass when making both small and big decisions.

2. Practise Self-Awareness

Authenticity begins with recognising your emotions and reactions without judging them.

 * Observe when you feel most ‘alive’ and when you feel ‘drained’.

 * Often, extreme mental exhaustion is a sign that you are pretending to be someone else to please those around you.

3. Have the Courage to Set Boundaries

An authentic person knows when to say “no”. People-pleasing is the main enemy of authenticity.

 * Stop agreeing to things that actually conflict with your capacity or principles.

 * Remember that refusing someone’s request doesn’t mean you’re a bad person; rather, you’re safeguarding your integrity.

4. Embrace Vulnerability

According to expert Brené Brown, authenticity cannot exist without the courage to be vulnerable.

 * Don’t be afraid to admit mistakes or ignorance.

 * Authentic individuals don’t feel they have to appear perfect all the time. They are comfortable with their imperfect humanity.

5. Reduce ‘Self-monitoring’ in Communication

High self-monitoring tends to involve constantly adjusting behaviour and speech to meet environmental expectations, causing people to often lose their honesty or ‘true voice’.

We often filter our thoughts to sound ‘safe’ to others.

 * Try to start voicing your opinions honestly yet politely.

 * Authenticity doesn’t mean being rude; it means aligning what you feel inside with what you say out loud.

The point of reducing “self-censorship” is to stop overthinking “What will people think if I say this?” before you open your mouth.

Imagine there is an "Editor" or "Security Guard" in your head. Every time you want to speak, this security guard checks your words. If they feel the words might make people dislike you or make you seem less intelligent, the security guard will stop you from speaking or tell you to change the sentence to a "safe" one.

Example of the Difference:

*Situation: A friend invites you to eat at a place you don’t fancy.

 If you use a high “Censor”:

   You’re actually reluctant to go there, but because you’re afraid of being seen as fussy or of disappointing your friend, you reply: “Sure, whatever you guys want.” (Even though you’re annoyed inside).

 If you lower the "Censorship":

   You’re honest about your own feelings without getting angry: "I’m actually not too keen on the food there, how about we try somewhere else?"

Why Should This Censorship Be Reduced?

 1. Mental Exhaustion: Constantly thinking through scenarios in your head before speaking is mentally draining.

 2. Identity Becomes Blurred: If everything you say is the result of "censorship" to please others, eventually you’ll get confused yourself: "Which one is actually my genuine opinion?"

 3. Relationships Become Fake: Others never get to know the real you; they only know the "revised version" you present.

So, What’s the Solution?

It doesn’t mean we should be rude or speak without thinking, but we should try to be more transparent. Here’s how:

 1. Be Honest About Not Knowing: If you don’t know, say you don’t know. Don’t censor yourself out of fear of looking uninformed.

 2. Be Honest About Disagreement: If you disagree, express it politely. Don’t hold back just because you’re afraid of conflict.

 3. Value Your Inner Voice: Give your personal opinions a chance to be heard by others, even if they might not be popular.

The point is, reducing self-censorship means stopping the excessive editing of yourself just to be accepted by your surroundings.

6. Assess Your Social Environment

It’s hard to be authentic if you’re in an environment that judges differences.

 * Seek out a circle of friends who value honesty and diversity of thought.

 * A healthy environment will support your growth, not pressure you to conform.

One important note: Authenticity is a journey, not a final destination. There will be days when you feel you have to ‘put on a front’ due to professional or social demands, and that’s perfectly normal. The most important thing is that you have a way back to your true self.

Make peace with things out of control

    Hi, today I would like to share about the interesting topic, namely "Make peace with things out of control", the main reason why I choose that topic because many people's mind get trapped with the things out of control and it causes stressed and depressed, if it's happening in long term period, as impact, people's life will decline from the peace time period, now return to the main topic, coming to terms with things beyond our control is the art of releasing the tension between reality and expectations. Often, our minds get stuck in a *loop* because they feel that by thinking about something constantly, they are ‘working’ to find a solution, when in fact all that is happening is mental exhaustion.

Here are some practical approaches to help shift your focus and calm your mind:

1. Use the "Control Dichotomy"

This concept from Stoic philosophy encourages us to divide everything into two buckets:

 * Bucket A (Controllable): Our thoughts, our actions, our words, and how we respond to situations.

 * Bucket B (Uncontrollable): Other people’s opinions, the past, the weather, the final outcome, and other people’s decisions.

Whenever your mind starts to “rattle”, ask yourself: “Is this in Bucket A or B?” If it’s in Bucket B, consciously say, “This isn’t my domain,” then force your focus back to Bucket A.

2. The “Worry Time” Technique

Instead of forbidding yourself from thinking about it (which usually only makes the thoughts stronger), set aside a specific time.

 * Set aside 10–15 minutes a day (e.g. 5 pm) as your “Worry Time”.

 * Outside of that time, if the thought arises, say: “I’ll think about this later at 5 pm.”

 * When the time comes, write down all those worries on a piece of paper. Usually, by the time that moment arrives, the intensity of the emotions has already diminished significantly.

3. Grounding: Return to the Body

Constantly racing thoughts usually make us "drift" away from the present reality. The 5-4-3-2-1 technique can bring you back:

 * Name 5 objects you can see.

 * 4 sounds you can hear.

 * 3 textures you can feel (clothes, a table, your skin).

 * 2 smells you can detect.

 * 1 taste on your tongue.

   This forces the brain to switch from *default* mode (daydreaming/worrying) to sensory mode.

4. Turn "What if" into "We’ll see"

Thoughts often get stuck in "What if...?" scenarios. These sentences are speculative and endless.

Try replacing it with the phrase: "We’ll see later."

This phrase implies acceptance that you don’t know what will happen, yet you trust in your ability to handle it when it actually does.

5. Focus on the Process, Not the Outcome

If you’re feeling anxious about something you’re working on, shift your attention entirely to the **small steps** you can take right now.

 * Don’t worry about whether this project will succeed (beyond your control).

 * Think about the one paragraph you need to write today (within your control).

Coming to terms with things doesn’t mean we don’t care; it means acknowledging that our energy is limited. Wasting energy on things we cannot change leaves little energy for the things we actually can improve.

How to create a sense of urgency in this business world

  Hi, today I would like to share about the interesting topic, namely "How to create a sense of urgency in this business world", theain reason why I choose that topic because many people don't know about the power of urgency, many people think sense of urgency cam be built when there's demand first, in fact, sense of urgency can be built without waiting the demand, Creating a sense of urgency is a classic technique in economics and marketing used to accelerate the consumer decision-making process. When combined with psychological principles, this strategy becomes a powerful tool for driving the market.

Here is an analysis of how urgency works within the dynamics of supply and demand and a psychological review:

1. Urgency in the Dynamics of Supply and Demand

In basic economic law, demand is often directly proportional to scarcity. Urgency is created by manipulating perceptions of the availability of goods or time.

 Quantity Scarcity (Stock Scarcity): Indicates that supply is severely limited. When consumers see “Only 2 units left”, their perception of the product’s value increases due to the fear of missing out on the opportunity to purchase it.

 Time Scarcity: Limiting the offer window (e.g., a 2-hour Flash Sale). This forces consumers to bypass thorough evaluation and make a purchase immediately.

 Exclusivity: Creates demand by restricting who can buy (e.g., "For VIP members only"). This elevates the product’s social status and creates urgency for those wishing to maintain that image.

2. A Psychological Perspective on a Sense of Urgency

Psychologically, urgency works by triggering an emotional response that often overrides rational logic.

A. Fear of Missing Out (FOMO)

Humans have a fundamental tendency not to want to be left behind by their group or to miss out on opportunities deemed valuable. The fear of future regret (*anticipated regret*) is far stronger than the satisfaction of obtaining something in the present.

B. The Scarcity Principle

According to Robert Cialdini, a leading social psychologist, people tend to view things that are hard to obtain as being of higher quality or greater value. Instinctively, our brains associate ‘scarce’ with ‘important’.

C. The Theory of Psychological Reactance

When someone feels their freedom of choice is becoming restricted (for example, because stock is running low), they experience “reactance”. To counteract this sense of losing freedom, they will strongly desire the item and strive to acquire it as soon as possible.

D. The “Fast and Cheap” Heuristic

The human brain often uses mental shortcuts (heuristics) to make decisions. Urgency creates a situation where the brain has no time to conduct a thorough cost-benefit analysis, so we tend to follow impulsive urges.

Effective Implementation Strategies

To create urgency without damaging customer trust, businesses typically use the following elements:

 Visual Countdowns: Using a countdown timer on the checkout page.

 Real-time Activity: Displaying notifications such as "5 people are viewing this product right now".

 Action-Oriented Language: Using action verbs such as "Get it now", "Last chance today", or "Final opportunity".

> Important Note: Excessive or false use of urgency (for example, always stating that stock is "almost out" when it is actually plentiful) can damage a business’s credibility in the long term, as consumers will begin to recognise this manipulative pattern.

Facing uncertainty in the right way

     Hi, today I would like to share about the interesting topic, namely ""Facing uncertainty in the right way", the main reason why I choose that topic because many people hate with uncertainty, they think certainty is more beautiful than uncertainty, In fact, certainty is keeping us stuck in a rut, whereas uncertainty is freeing us from the tedium of routine, here is another point of view, Dealing with uncertainty often feels like walking through thick fog; we know there is a path ahead, but we cannot see where it leads. In psychology, this sense of unease is known as Intolerance of Uncertainty (IU) — a tendency for people to perceive unpredictable future events as frightening or something to be avoided.

Here are some psychological perspectives and practical strategies for coping in such situations:

1. Psychological Perspective: Why Is It So Difficult?

The human brain is evolutionarily designed to process patterns and seek safety. Uncertainty is perceived by the amygdala (the brain’s emotional centre) as a potential threat.

Locus of Control: Individuals with an internal locus of control tend to be more resilient because they focus on what they can change, rather than on fate.

 Resilience: This is not about not feeling afraid, but rather the ability to ‘bounce back’ after being exposed to stressors.

 Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT): Modern psychology (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy) emphasises that suffering arises not from uncertainty itself, but from our constant efforts to resist it.

2. Coping Mechanisms

Focus on What You Can Control

Uncertainty often makes us feel we’ve lost control of our lives. The best way to combat this is by establishing small routines.

Example: Setting a wake-up time, regular exercise, or a language learning schedule. Small things you can control will give your brain a sense of “security”.

Grounding Techniques (Staying in the Present)

Anxiety usually dwells in the future (“What if…?”). Grounding techniques help bring your awareness back to the present moment.

The 5-4-3-2-1 method: Name 5 things you can see, 4 you can touch, 3 sounds you can hear, 2 smells you can detect, and 1 taste you can sense.

Radical Acceptance (Radical Acceptance)

This is a concept from Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT). Acceptance does not mean agreeing or giving up, but acknowledging reality without judgement. Tell yourself: "This situation is indeed uncertain, and feeling anxious is perfectly normal right now."

3. Changing the Narrative: From "Threat" to "Possibility"

Cognitive psychology suggests practising reframing. Uncertainty brings not only the risk of failure, but also unseen opportunities.

| From Thoughts... | To... |

| "I don’t know what will happen; this is terrifying." | "I don’t know what will happen; that means all possibilities are still open." |

| "I must have a backup plan for every worst-case scenario." | "I will focus on preparing myself to be strong enough to face whatever comes." | 

4. Preserving Mental Capacity

Don’t let uncertainty drain all your energy.

Limit Information Intake: If the uncertainty relates to global or economic issues, limit the time you spend reading the news.

 Self-Compassion: Be kind to yourself. If you feel tired or less productive during this process, recognise that you are using a lot of mental energy to adapt to this uncertainty.

A process full of uncertainty is indeed exhausting, but it is often there that our resilience is forged most strongly. 

The reason the human brain often does something even though it is prohibited

   Hi, today I would like to share about the interesting topic, namely "The reason the human brain often does something even though it is prohibited", The main reason why I chose this topic is because many people don't look for a strong reason why they are prohibited to do something, In psychology, this phenomenon is known as Psychological Reactance. Our subconscious isn’t simply trying to be ‘naughty’; it is reacting to the threat of losing our freedom, If we observe more deeply, the reason someone continues to do something even though it is prohibited is because they have not found a turning point to stop their actions, The human brain tends to avoid uncertainty and discomfort from anything in the world., whereas in reality, humans must avoid zones of certainty that provide a feeling of comfort for a long time, the main reason is because feeling comfortable for too long can weaken the mental function of the human brain's work 

Here are a few reasons why prohibitions actually create a stronger pull:

1. The Theory of Psychological Reactance

When someone forbids us from doing something, our brain interprets this as a restriction on our self-autonomy. Instinctively, humans have a fundamental need to feel in control of their own lives.

 The response: To restore that sense of control, the subconscious mind drives us to do the forbidden thing to prove that “I am still free to make my own choices.”

2. The "Ironic Process" Effect (The Paradox of Mental Suppression)

The subconscious mind works in a unique way. When you try not to think about something, the brain must constantly monitor that thought to ensure you are not thinking about it.

 Example: If I say "Don’t think about a pink elephant," the first thing that pops into your head is that elephant.

 The effect: The prohibition makes the forbidden object *top-of-mind* (the centre of attention), so our mental energy is actually focused there.

3. The Theory of Scarcity

Evolutionarily speaking, things that are limited or hard to obtain are considered more valuable. A prohibition creates the impression that something is “exclusive” or “hidden”.

 The subconscious assumes: “If it’s forbidden, there must be something incredibly pleasurable, important, or beneficial behind it that others don’t want to know about.”

4. The Drive to Explore

Biologically, humans are explorers. Prohibition creates an information gap. Curiosity arises from uncertainty: “Why is it forbidden? What happens if I do it anyway?” The desire to close this information gap is often stronger than the fear of the prohibition’s consequences.

How to Address It

In the context of self-regulation or therapy, understanding these mechanisms is very helpful:

 Use Positive Language: Instead of saying "Don’t get angry," it is more effective to use the instruction "Stay calm." This does not trigger reactance.

 Grant Autonomy: If we understand the reason behind a restriction, reactance usually diminishes because we feel we are making a logical decision, rather than simply being forced.

This is often a challenge in itself, particularly when we try to discipline ourselves but instead feel ‘restricted’ by the rules we’ve set. 

The location of the differences in human strength that are often used

   Hi, today I would like to share about the interesting topic, namely "the location of the differences in human strength that are often used", the main reason why I choose that topic because not everyone realizes about their strength, when people fails to do something, they often ask to themselves "where is my strength?", that question is both deeply philosophical and practical. Human strength is often misunderstood as merely physical or a matter of status, yet its roots run far deeper and are multi-layered, if we study why many people don't realize their power because they trade their time for pleasurable things, When people are too happy with pleasant things, they become careless with their deepest powers, so they don't use the powers that they should use, We must remember this: pleasant things can weaken human consciousness until they forget how to use their natural powers, If this happens over and over again, humans will not be able to compete with the demands of life. That is why, superpower countries often use entertainment programs to lower people's awareness in facing life problems that they are not aware of, Nowadays, entertainment programs are often used as a tool to regress human consciousness and to weaken the great power of human beings.

Here are some areas where true human strength lies:

1. Resilience (Mental Fortitude)

Human strength does not lie in the ability never to fall, but in the ability to get back up every time one falls. The capacity to adapt amidst suffering and to find meaning behind adversity is the primary driving force of our species.

2. Self-Awareness

Humans are the only creatures capable of observing their own thoughts. Our strength lies in the gap between stimulus and response. It is within that gap that we possess the freedom to choose how we will act, rather than merely reacting on instinct.

3. Collaboration and Empathy

Individually, humans may be weak compared to predators in the wild. However, our greatest strength lies in large-scale cooperation. The ability to empathise, understand others’ perspectives, and work towards a shared goal is why we have been able to build civilisations.

4. Imagination and Hope

We possess a unique ability to imagine something that does not yet exist (the future) and to believe in it. Hope is not merely a sense of optimism, but a driving force that enables humans to survive even in the most extreme conditions.

5. Vulnerability

Often seen as a weakness, yet according to experts such as Brené Brown, vulnerability is the birthplace of innovation, creativity, and connection. Acknowledging that we are not perfect actually gives us the strength to learn and grow.

"Strength does not come from physical capacity. It comes from a steadfast will." — Mahatma Gandhi

Conclusion: every human being has a power which is used as a service, if humans do not use it as a service, then that power will fade as time goes by, Human power cannot be eliminated, it only changes form into another form of energy, the more it is used, the more it multiplies, That's why humans need clear goals so they can maximize their potential.

The side effect of caring for others exceeds caring for oneself

   Hi, today I would like to share about the interesting topic, namely "The side effect of caring for others exceeds caring for oneself". The main reason why I choose that topic because not everyone prioritize to themselves first, this statement "caring for others first" is particularly intriguing because it overturns the conventional wisdom regarding self-sacrifice. Typically, putting oneself second for the sake of others is regarded as the pinnacle of virtue or altruism. However, viewed through the lens of psychology and practical philosophy, the argument that this constitutes "cruel selfishness" has a fairly solid foundation, There is a risk that arises if we do not prioritize self-care, namely that we lose self-confidence, It is important to remember: self-confidence arises because a person focuses on developing himself rather than caring about other people, I do not forbid caring about other people's suffering, but if we ourselves are not strong enough to maintain our own abilities, then it is as if we are showing a suicidal attitude because we are unable maintain our daily need.

Here are several perspectives for analysing this statement:

1. Self-Neglect

Literally, neglecting oneself is a destructive act. When someone disregards their physical, mental, or emotional health, they are inflicting harm upon themselves.

 The logic: How can someone offer healthy “love” to others if they are unable to offer the same to themselves? Without self-care, the help provided is often of poor quality or given with the last dregs of energy.

2. The Hidden "Selfish" Side

Why is it called selfish? In many cases, excessive self-sacrifice (martyrdom) has an unconscious motive:

 * The Need to Be Needed: A person may feel valuable only if they make sacrifices. This can be a way to control the narrative or make others feel emotionally indebted.

 * Self-Avoidance: An excessive focus on others’ problems is often a defence mechanism to avoid facing one’s own chaos or responsibilities.

3. Negative Consequences for Those Being Helped

Rather than helping, excessive concern often creates an unhealthy relationship (Codependency):

 * Weakening Others: By doing everything for others, we indirectly rob them of the opportunity to learn independence and take responsibility for their own lives.

 * The Burden of Guilt: Those receiving help may feel burdened if they see the helper suffering or neglecting themselves for their sake. This creates a relationship dynamic filled with pressure, rather than pure compassion.

4. The Perspective of Balance (Stoicism & Psychology)

In Stoic philosophy, there is a concept that we must maintain our ‘instrument’ (ourselves) so that it functions properly for the common good.

 If you are an instrument, you must be in prime condition to produce beautiful sounds for the world. If the instrument is damaged due to lack of care, it is no longer of use to anyone.

Conclusion

This statement can be considered true if we view it from the perspective of moral responsibility towards oneself. Neglecting oneself for the sake of others is not sustainable altruism, but rather a form of shirking responsibility that can actually damage the harmony of long-term relationships.

The most effective kindness usually stems from sufficient self-fulfilment, so that the help given to others flows from a ‘surplus’ of energy, rather than from a painful, forced ‘draining’.

Eliminate attachment to money and material things

   Hi, today I would like to share about the interesting topic, namely "Eliminate attachment to money and material things", the main reason why i chose this topic is because many people are stuck in a phase of the worshippers of worldly pleasures, Letting go of material attachments is a journey that involves striking a balance between spirituality and psychological maturity. In psychology, excessive attachment is often seen as a compensatory mechanism to fulfil unmet emotional needs, Many of us think that emotional needs are the same as desires, but that is not true. Remember this : Desire does not offer peace, it offers recklessness, rush and pushover, whereas emotional needs offer awareness, calm and courage in executing a decision.

Here is an overview from a psychological perspective and practical steps to address it:

1. Psychological Perspective: Material Possessions as ‘Object Attachment’

Psychologically, the desire to cling to material possessions can be explained through several concepts:

 Self-Extension Theory: People tend to view their possessions as an extension of their self-identity. Losing material possessions is perceived as losing ‘a part of oneself’.

 Symbolic Completion: People often seek material possessions to compensate for feelings of insecurity. If someone feels socially or emotionally lacking, they use money and luxury goods to feel “complete” or valuable.

 Hedonic Treadmill: The human tendency to quickly return to a baseline level of happiness after achieving something. This leads us to constantly chase new material possessions because the satisfaction from old items fades quickly.

2. How to Overcome Attachment (Psychological & Practical Perspectives)

A. Practise a Minimalist Mindset

Minimalism isn’t just about getting rid of things, but realising that your worth isn’t determined by what you own. Try to distinguish between “wants” and “needs”.

B. Cognitive Reframing (Shifting Focus)

Change your perspective on money. Instead of viewing money as a goal or an identity, see it as a tool or instrument for worship and spreading benefit. When money is merely a tool in your hands (not in your heart), you will find it easier to let go of it.

C. Practising Gradual Letting Go (Giving)

Psychologically, giving (charity/donations) is the best therapy for breaking attachment. When you give, you are training your brain to understand that “I am still fine even if these material possessions diminish.”

D. Awareness of Impermanence (Impermanence)

In existential psychology, realising that everything is temporary helps a person not to become too attached. Focus on experiences and human relationships, which provide deeper and more lasting satisfaction than inanimate objects.

3. Steps Towards Emotional Self-Sufficiency

To reduce dependence on material possessions, you need to strengthen your ‘inner self’ (as in the question you asked earlier):

 1. Internal Validation: Find self-confidence in your character, skills, and integrity, not in clothing brands or bank balances.

 2. Gratitude: Positive psychology shows that practising gratitude regularly reduces the urge to consume excessively.

 3. Mindfulness: Be aware of the moment when a strong urge to possess something arises. Ask yourself: "Will this object fulfil my soul, or merely my ego?"

> "Money and material possessions are good servants, but bad masters."

>

Here is the advice: When your inner self is in harmony and stable, you can still possess great wealth, yet that wealth no longer possesses (controls) you, To align the heart and sense of stability, we need to increase self-confidence by proving the existence of our service and benefits.

How to understand the concept of sustenance and how to manage it

   Hi, today I would like to share about the interesting topic, namely "How to understand the concept of sustenance and how to manage it", the main reason why I choose that topic because not everyone is aware how to use sustenance I'm the right purpose, There are some people who prioritize other people's interests over prioritizing their own needs, that is not the right way, The meaning of sustenance is facilities that are given for free, for that reason, use sustenance to prioritize yourself and then the interests of others, so, don't let yourself lacking from something you deserve it, From the perspective of the Sunnah of Islamic rule, the concept of ‘charity for oneself’ does indeed exist and has a strong foundation. This is often understood as prioritising one’s own livelihood and the fulfilment of personal needs before helping others.

The following are the textual evidence and their explanations:

1. Hadith narrated by Muslim (Priority of Livelihood)

There is a hadith that explicitly sets out the order of priority in spending one’s wealth. The Messenger of Allah ﷺ said:

> “Begin with yourself; give charity for yourself. If there is any surplus, then for your family. If there is any surplus again, then for your relatives. If there is any surplus again, then for such and such (others)…” (Narrated by Muslim, no. 997)

The meaning: Islam is a realistic religion. A person is not advised to give all their wealth to others whilst they themselves are starving or living in destitution. Meeting one’s own needs so as not to have to beg from others is considered charity and a righteous deed.

2. The Most Meritorious Charity (Afdhal)

The Messenger of Allah ﷺ also explained that the best charity is that given whilst one’s financial situation is still stable (not when one is already destitute).

> “The most excellent charity is that given from one’s surplus wealth. And begin with those who are your dependants.” (HR. Bukhari no. 1426)

In this context, ‘oneself’ and ‘immediate family’ are the first to be included in the list of dependants. Ensuring one’s own well-being so as to remain strong in worship and work is a form of investment for the Hereafter.

3. Qur’anic Verses on Balance

This principle is also supported by the Qur’an so that we do not give in excess to the point of causing hardship upon ourselves:

> “And do not make your hand tied to your neck (being stingy), nor stretch it out too far (being overly wasteful or charitable without consideration), lest you become blameworthy and regretful.” (QS. Al-Isra: 29)

Why Should You Prioritise Yourself?

 1. Preserving Dignity (Iffah): So that you do not become a burden to others or society.

 2. Strength for Worship: A body well-nourished and a calm mind, with basic needs met, will be better able to perform acts of obedience (prayer, fasting, work).

 3. Peace of Mind: Meeting one’s own needs helps alleviate anxiety, so that you can give to others more sincerely in the future.

Important Note

Although oneself is a priority, ‘charity for oneself’ here refers to the fulfilment of basic needs and health, not the gratification of desires or an excessively luxurious lifestyle.

Only after one’s own needs and those of one’s immediate family (children/spouse) have been met should the door to charity towards others be opened wide to bring about greater blessings.

Hopefully this article can give you an insight how to improve your career, good luck.

What is the role of emotional disinhibition in the family sphere

    Hi, today I would like to share about the interesting topic, namely "What is the role of emotional disinhibition in the family sphere?, the main reason why I choose that topic because not everyone can hold their emotional release safely when they show their anger to their family, In psychology, emotional disinhibition refers to a condition in which a person loses the ability to regulate or restrain their emotional responses. Now Imagine a car with faulty brakes; the driver sees an obstacle but cannot stop the vehicle.

Broadly speaking, psychological perspectives on this phenomenon are divided into several main dimensions:

1. Neuropsychological Perspective (Damage to the Brain’s ‘Brakes’)

From a biological perspective, emotional disinhibition is often linked to the function of the prefrontal cortex, the part of the brain responsible for executive function, self-control, and decision-making.

Limbic System vs. Prefrontal: The limbic system triggers raw emotions (anger, fear, joy). Under normal conditions, the prefrontal cortex filters these emotions before they are expressed.

 Medical Causes: This disinhibition often occurs in individuals with traumatic brain injury, dementia (particularly Frontotemporal Dementia), or neurodivergent conditions such as ADHD, where the brain’s natural ‘filter’ does not function optimally.

2. A Developmental Psychology Perspective

In human development, disinhibition is the ‘default’ state in toddlers. Young children do not yet possess mature neural circuits to delay gratification or conceal frustration.

 Regulatory Failure: If an adult exhibits disinhibition without brain damage, developmental psychology suggests a possible failure to learn emotional regulation strategies during childhood or exposure to chronic stress that has worn down the mental defence system.

3. Forms of Emotional Manifestation

Psychology categorises these manifestations of disinhibition into several observable behaviours:

 Impulsivity: Acting without considering the consequences (e.g., impulsive shopping when feeling excessively happy).

 Emotional Lability: Rapid and drastic mood swings (suddenly crying then laughing).

 Verbal/Physical Aggression: Outbursts of anger disproportionate to the trigger.

 Over-sharing: Revealing highly intimate personal details to strangers without feeling any social boundaries.

4. The Online Disinhibition Effect

In modern psychology (Cyberpsychology), the term ‘Online Disinhibition Effect’ is recognised. This phenomenon explains why people tend to be bolder, more rude, or more emotional on social media than in the real world. This is triggered by:

Anonymity: Feeling that one’s identity is hidden.

Invisibility: Not being face-to-face.

Asynchrony: Communication that does not occur in real-time provides a false sense of security from social consequences.

5. Therapeutic Approaches

Clinical psychology addresses emotional disinhibition through several methods focused on rebuilding the mental ‘braking system’:

Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT): Highly effective for training distress tolerance and emotion regulation.

 Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT): Helps individuals recognise the gap between triggers (stimuli) and responses, giving them time to think before reacting.

 Mindfulness: Training awareness so that individuals can observe their emotions without immediately acting on them.

Philosophically, this phenomenon reminds us of the Stoic concept of prohairesis (free will), where human strength actually lies in the ability to create a pause between sensory impressions and the actions taken.

Human limitations on space are beyond human control

    Hi, today I would like to share about the interesting topic, namely "Human limitations on space are beyond human control", the main reason why I choose that topic because many people try to control beyond their space control,  This actually drains human energy if we continue to force our own limits to execute a decision where it is beyond control, In psychology and philosophy (particularly Stoicism, which interests you), an understanding of the limits of human control is the foundation of inner peace and effective action. This view is often referred to as the Dichotomy of Control.

Psychologically, understanding these limits does not mean adopting a passive attitude or giving up, but rather about allocating cognitive and emotional energy appropriately to avoid mental exhaustion (burnout).

1. The Limits of Control (Circle of Influence)

In practical terms, human control is divided into two main areas:

 The Area Within Control (Internal):

   Mental Processes: Your thoughts, judgements, and perceptions of an event.

   Will: The decisions you make to act or refrain from acting.

   Values: The life principles, character, and personal integrity you uphold.

   Emotional Response: How you process your emotions after an event occurs.

 Areas Beyond Control (External):

   Outcomes: Project success, others’ appreciation, or financial gain.

   Others’ Actions: People’s opinions, a partner’s behaviour, or company policies.

   The Past and the Future: Events that have already happened or the uncertainty of tomorrow.

   Environmental Conditions: Weather, traffic congestion, or unforeseen disasters.

2. Psychological Perspectives on the Limits of Control

Modern psychology, particularly within the fields of Cognitive Psychology and Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT), views issues of control through several lenses:

A. Locus of Control (Locus of Control)

Julian Rotter developed the Locus of Control theory to explain how people perceive the source of control in their lives:

Internal Locus of Control: A person believes that success or failure is the result of their own actions. This correlates with higher motivation, but if taken to extremes, it can lead to unnecessary guilt when events occur beyond one’s control.

 External Locus of Control: A person feels their life is controlled by fate, luck, or others. This often triggers a sense of helplessness (learned helplessness).

Ideal perspective: Healthy psychology encourages a moderate Internal Locus of Control, where individuals are aware of their responsibilities yet accept the limitations of external reality.

B. Learned Helplessness (Learned Helplessness)

When someone continually tries to control things beyond their control (such as changing another person’s character or forcing a successful outcome), they experience learned helplessness. A person stops trying because they feel their efforts yield no results. Understanding the limits of control is the primary way to break this cycle.

C. Cognitive Reframing (Reframing)

In psychotherapy, this technique is used to shift the patient’s focus. For example, rather than trying to control whether someone likes us (external), we shift the focus to how we act with courtesy and integrity (internal). Control shifts from the goal to the process.

3. Integration into Your Professional Life

As a psychotherapist with an engineering background and an interest in Stoicism, you may find that this concept resembles control systems in engineering:

In engineering, you manage inputs to produce outputs. However, in human psychology, outputs (behaviour or outcomes) are always influenced by unpredictable variables (‘noise’ or ‘interference’).

 If you force an unstable system (by attempting to exert full control over external factors), your psychological system will crash or overheat.

Conclusion:

A loss of self-identity often stems from a strenuous effort to control external factors (material possessions, status, recognition) that are actually beyond our control. When those external factors are lost, we feel shattered because our ‘sphere of control’ has become fused with them.

By reclaiming your control space through your core values and the processes you undertake, you build a stronger psychological defence against the turbulence of the outside world.

As you embark on your new career as a coordinator in the industrial sector, where you will interact more frequently with complex external variables

Humans should not focus on certain objects, places or people to avoid feelings of attachment

  Hi, today I would like to share about the interesting topic, namely "Humans should not focus on certain objects, places or people to avoid feelings of attachment.", the main reason why I choose that topic because many people are too obsessed with the things that can't be controlled, in that circumstances will inflict overthinking issue for longer period, I personally do not recommend you to focus on something that cannot be completely controlled, in Modern psychological perspectives, particularly within the fields of Cognitive Psychology and Behavioural Psychology, it offers deeper thinking process, when the topic touching on the inner realm, but the topic above indirectly guides us not to follow our desires, but to surrender to fate, Although Haanel’s statement is steeped in the philosophy of New Thought and metaphysics, its underlying principles can be explained through the scientific mechanisms of the human mind.

The following is an overview from a psychological perspective:

1. Locus of Control (Internal vs. External Control)

The statement “external circumstances are merely effects” aligns closely with the concept of Internal Locus of Control.

 Analysis: Individuals who believe they have control over their own actions and thoughts tend to be more resilient and proactive.

 Psychological Implications: When you stop focusing your energy on uncontrollable external variables (such as other people’s behaviour or a specific location), you redirect your mental resources towards what you can control: your responses, attitudes, and self-efficacy. This directly reduces anxiety and boosts self-efficacy.

2. Selective Attention and Confirmation Bias

Why does focusing on “goals” rather than “objects/people” 

Have a psychological basis?

 Reticular Activating System (RAS): This is the part of the brain that filters the millions of pieces of information entering our senses. When you set an "aspiration" (a clear mental goal), you are indirectly instructing the RAS to be more attuned to information, opportunities, or people relevant to that goal.

 Confirmation Bias: Once the mind is focused on an aspiration (ideal), the brain tends to seek evidence that supports that belief. Thus, the outside world seems to "change" not because of mystical factors, but because you begin to notice opportunities that your brain previously overlooked.

3. Cognitive Reframing and Self-Fulfilling Prophecy

The statement that "the cause is a mental state" is at the heart of Cognitive Theory.

 Concept: Human emotions and behaviour are not directly determined by events (objects/places/people), but rather by our interpretation or cognitive schemas of those events.

 Self-Fulfilling Prophecy: If your mental state is focused on "aspirations" (positive beliefs), you will behave consistently with those goals. This behaviour then triggers reactions from the social environment that often validate your initial beliefs.

Critical Notes from Psychology

Although this principle has a strong foundation in personal development, modern psychology offers an important caveat:

 The Risk of Magical Thinking: Psychology warns against mental focus turning into "magical thinking" (believing that merely thinking about aspirations will make things appear instantly without concrete action). Aspirations must be followed by behavioural execution

Ignoring External Reality: Psychology also emphasises that completely ignoring others or the environment can be harmful. We are social beings. Mental health often depends on the quality of our interpersonal relationships and our adaptation to environmental realities.

Conclusion

Psychologically, this statement is a form of cognitive focus training. By shifting focus from unpredictable external variables to manageable “mental states”, you create a stable foundation for more effective decision-making and action.

In clinical practice, this is similar to Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) techniques, where we train clients to change their thought patterns (cognitions) so that their emotions and the outcomes of their actions in the real world become healthier and more purposeful.

Can humans demand perfection even though they themselves are not perfect?

    Hi, today I would like share about the interesting topic, namely "Can humans demand perfection even though they themselves are not perfect? This question touches on the very heart of the paradox of human existence. From a philosophical and psychological perspective, Humans demand perfection because they think that with the status of perfection, from my perception, they shape their mindset like that because they think that they can get what they hope during their career, in another point of view, type of thinking like that can actually create chaos and decline in their career path because they use negative force energy path to change the situation, In reality, there is no perfection in human abilities because human abilities change from time to time, here there are several ways of perception to look at this phenomenon:

1. The ‘Need for Ideality’ Paradox

People often demand perfection precisely because they are aware of their own imperfection. Perfection serves as a ‘North Star’—a direction that can never be reached, yet is used to guide one’s steps so as not to lose one’s way in chaos. Without high standards, people might lose the motivation to grow.

2. The Stoic Perspective and Acceptance

From a Stoic perspective, demanding perfection in matters beyond one’s control (such as the behaviour of others or the final outcome of an event) is often seen as a source of suffering.

 * Focus on the Process: Rather than demanding a perfect outcome, the focus shifts to excellence of character (Arete) in doing one’s best in the present moment, even if the result remains imperfect.

3. Psychological Projection

Sometimes, a person’s harsh demands for perfection in others are a form of projection. When someone cannot accept their own weaknesses, they tend to criticise the same weaknesses in others. This is a defence mechanism to divert internal insecurity.

4. Justice and Empathy (Ethical Considerations)

Ethically speaking, demanding perfection from others whilst tolerating one’s own shortcomings can be seen as moral injustice or hypocrisy. However, if such demands take the form of a shared aspiration to improve, they can be constructive.

The Middle Ground: Excellence, Not Perfection

Perhaps the question is no longer ‘is it permissible or not’, but rather ‘is it functional?’.

 * Perfectionism: Often rigid, judgemental, and ending in disappointment due to impossible standards.

 * Excellence: Striving for the best whilst being fully aware of human limitations.

Demanding perfection in a flawed world is like trying to paint on water. It is far healthier to demand growth rather than perfection, because growth values the process, whereas perfection values only the outcome—which is often a mirage.

To what extent do humans recognize their own limitations?

   Hi, today I would like to share about the interesting topic, namely "To what extent do humans recognize their own limitations?", the main reason why I choose that topic because not everyone can recognize their limitations,  So they try to break through those limits until they are in a phase of destruction, for your information that understanding one’s own limitations and the concept of ‘coming to terms with oneself’ are two key pillars of character development and mental health. The two are closely intertwined in determining how a person responds to life’s challenges.

Here is an in-depth analysis of these two aspects:

1. To What Extent Can Humans Know Their Limits?

Knowing one’s limits is not an end point, but a dynamic process. People typically recognise their limits through three main filters:

 * The Failure Filter (Limits of Ability): We often only realise our limits when we hit them. Failure provides honest data on where our physical, cognitive, or emotional capacities currently end.

 * The Introspection Filter (Limits of Awareness): This involves awareness of one’s values, energy levels, and mental capacity. Someone with high self-awareness knows when to say “no” before experiencing extreme exhaustion (burnout).

 * The Uncertainty Filter (Limits of Potential): Uniquely, human limits are elastic. What is your limit today may not be your limit next year. People often do not know their maximum limit until they are pushed by an emergency situation or consistent training.

Philosophically, human limits lie in the acceptance of things that cannot be controlled. Knowing one’s limits means understanding the difference between what can be changed (effort, attitude) and what must be accepted (fate, the actions of others).

2. What Does “Not Yet Done with Oneself” Mean?

The term “not yet done with oneself” usually refers to a state where a person is still trapped in internal conflict, past wounds, or an unprocessed ego, If someone can't escape from the pain, then the wound will transform into a bad character and hurt the feelings of those closest to him, the meaning of the statement that they “cannot move on to more difficult life tests” is as follows:

 * A Fragile Foundation: Life will continue to present tests of increasing scale (family responsibilities, career, leadership). If a person is still grappling with acute self-doubt, a craving for validation, or unresolved trauma, this internal burden will become an “additional weight”. When external challenges arise, they will collapse not because the challenge is too heavy, but because their internal foundation is unstable.

 * Projection of Conflict: People who have not resolved their inner issues tend to project internal problems onto the outside world. For example, if someone has not resolved their feelings of envy, they will view challenges at work not as learning opportunities, but as threats from others. This turns what should be a simple challenge into a highly complex one.

 * Decision-Making Capacity: Difficult life tests require clarity of thought. If the mind is still filled with the ‘noise’ of the past or unresolved self-doubt, a person will find it difficult to make objective and wise decisions.

Conclusion

"Coming to terms with oneself" does not mean becoming perfect or flawless. It means you have recognised, accepted, and made peace with all the dark and light sides within yourself.

When you have come to terms with yourself, you no longer fight against your own shadows whilst battling on the battlefield of life. Your energy remains intact to face the trials ahead, rather than being drained by internal conflicts. 

Why do uncomfortable feelings arise even though we don't do anything

 

 

    Hi, today I would like to share about the interesting topic, namely "Why do uncomfortable feelings arise even though we don't do anything", the main reason why I choose that topic because many people don't know how to detect the uneasy feeling when they do nothing useful, That uneasy feeling that arises for no apparent reason—often referred to as free-floating anxiety or simply a sense of unease—can indeed be incredibly draining. As someone working in the field of psychotherapy, you will no doubt understand that sometimes our minds register things that our conscious mind does not immediately pick up on, From what I have observed, the feeling of discomfort arises because our subconscious knows that we are not yet fully ready to accept new boundaries that are not yet in sync with our natural signals.

Here are some practical steps to help you identify and manage these feelings:

1. The ‘Grounding’ Technique (Connecting Yourself to the Present Moment)

When these unpleasant feelings arise, our minds are often stuck in the past or worrying about the future. Bring yourself back to the present moment using the 5-4-3-2-1 method:

 * Name 5 things you can see.

 * 4 sounds you can hear.

 * 3 textures or objects you can touch.

 * 2 smells you can smell.

 * 1 taste you can taste.

   This helps your nervous system shift out of ‘alert’ mode and return to a state of calm.

2. Uncensored Journaling

Write down whatever comes to mind, no matter how chaotic it may be. Don’t try to find logic or causes just yet.

 * Use phrases like: “Right now I feel…”, “Inside my body, this discomfort feels like… (e.g. tightness in the chest, a weight on my shoulders)”.

 * Sometimes, by putting your thoughts down on paper, hidden patterns will reveal themselves.

3. Body Scan

Emotions often manifest physically before we become cognitively aware of them.

 * Sit quietly and pay attention to your body from the tips of your toes to the top of your head.

 * Is there tension in your jaw, raised shoulders, or held-back breath?

 * Focus your breath on those tense areas. Often, that ‘unpleasant’ feeling is simply the body’s response to accumulated fatigue or stress.

4. Check Your Basic Needs (HALT)

Ask yourself if you are in a state of:

 * Hungry

 * Angry

 * Lonely

 * Tired

   As someone with an engineering background and busy with various projects, we sometimes overlook basic biological needs that can trigger drastic mood swings.

5. Accept, Don’t Fight

Often, these feelings intensify precisely because we worry about the worry itself (“Why do I feel this way? I must know the cause!”).

 * Try telling yourself: “Right now I’m feeling uncomfortable, and that’s okay. I don’t have to know the cause right away. I’ll let it be for a moment without judging it.”

   If these feelings persist for a long time or begin to interfere with your daily productivity, consider whether there are burdens of responsibility or expectations you are carrying in relation to the major goals you have set. Sometimes, our subconscious senses the pressure before our conscious mind has had a chance to process it.

Hopefuly this article can give you an insight how to improve your career in life.

People are more afraid of losing than not getting something

  Hi, today I would like to share about the interesting topic, namely "People are more afraid of losing than not getting something.", the main reason why I choose that topic because many people get that condition where it can make their happiness level is down, The phenomenon which happens is one of the most fundamental concepts in behavioural psychology and behavioural economics, known as Loss Aversion.

In short, humans are inherently more sensitive to potential losses than to potential gains, even when the values are equivalent. 

Here is an in-depth explanation of this from a psychological perspective:

1. Key Concept: Loss Aversion

This concept was popularised by psychologists Daniel Kahneman and Amos Tversky through Prospect Theory. Their findings show that, psychologically, the pain of losing something is felt twice as intensely as the pleasure derived from gaining something of equal value.

A simple example: Losing Rp100,000 will have a far more significant negative emotional impact on a person than the happiness felt if they suddenly found or received Rp100,000.

2. Why Does This Happen? (Evolutionary Basis)

Evolutionary psychology offers a compelling explanation for why this tendency is ingrained in humans:

 * Survival Strategy (Survival Instinct): For our ancestors, the loss of resources (such as food, shelter, or status within a group) could mean a direct threat to life. On the other hand, failing to gain something new usually does not threaten survival in the same way. Consequently, the human brain evolved to prioritise ‘avoiding threats/losses’ for the sake of survival.

 * Security vs. Growth: The human brain is biologically programmed to maintain security (homeostasis). Preserving what one already possesses is a safer course of action than taking risks to pursue something new.

3. Additional Psychological Aspects

In addition to evolutionary factors, there are several psychological mechanisms that reinforce this tendency:

 * The Endowment Effect: People tend to place a higher value on goods or status they already possess simply because they own them. Once something becomes part of ‘my possessions’, we feel a sense of loss if we have to let it go.

 * Reference Point: In Prospect Theory, our evaluation of outcomes (gains or losses) is not based on absolute value, but on the change from the current reference point. What we possess becomes that reference point; anything moving away from it is perceived as a decline in quality of life.

 * Uncertainty and Control: Acquiring something often involves effort and uncertainty, whereas retaining what we already have feels more within our control. Losing something is often seen as a ‘failure’ to maintain that control, triggering a greater stress or anxiety response.

4. Impact on Life

This understanding explains much of our behaviour:

 * In Business/Finance: Why investors often hold onto loss-making shares for too long (fearing to realise the loss) rather than selling them, even though selling might be the rational decision.

 * In Relationships: Why people find it hard to let go of unhealthy relationships; there is a fear of losing the comfort they already have, even though there is potential for happiness outside that relationship.

 * In Career Decisions: People are more likely to stay in unsatisfying jobs out of fear of losing financial stability (their current salary), rather than taking a risk on new opportunities that might be better.

Conclusion

The fear of loss is not merely a ‘lack of gratitude’ or pessimism, but a very powerful mental adaptation mechanism. Although this mechanism once helped our ancestors survive, in the complex modern world, this bias often hinders us from taking bold steps or making the changes necessary for growth, 

this is a natural cognitive bias can help us evaluate decisions more objectively—by asking: “Am I holding on to this because its value is genuinely high, or simply because I’m afraid of losing it?”

Why do some people reject the truth even though their brain doesn't deny it

   Hi, today I would like to share about the interesting topic, namely "Why do some people reject the truth even though their brain doesn't deny it?, the main reason why I choose that topic because many people's behavior tends to reject the truth rather than accept it, The phenomenon in which a person rejects the truth even when it is logically undeniable is a deeply complex topic in psychology. It is not about a lack of intelligence, but rather about how our brains protect our identity, comfort, and emotional stability.

Here are the main psychological explanations for why this happens:

1. Cognitive Dissonance

Introduced by Leon Festinger, this concept explains the mental discomfort a person experiences when they hold two conflicting beliefs, or when their behavior does not align with their values.

 * Reaction: When new facts (the truth) challenge deeply ingrained old beliefs, the brain experiences psychological “pain.” To alleviate this pain, a person tends to reject or distort the facts rather than having to change their worldview.

2. Identity Protective Cognition

For many people, beliefs are not merely data, but part of their identity. Believing in something (regarding politics, religion, or oneself) helps them feel like they belong to a specific social group.

 * Reaction: If the truth constitutes a "betrayal" of their group or identity, the brain processes the facts as a physical threat. Rejecting the truth becomes a self-defense mechanism to keep them "safe" within their social sphere.

3. Confirmation Bias

This is the natural human tendency to seek out, interpret, and remember information that only supports what they already believe.

 * Reaction: Facts that contradict initial assumptions are often ignored, dismissed as “bias from the opposing side,” or deemed invalid even when the evidence is strong.

4. Backfire Effect

This is a phenomenon where exposure to evidence that contradicts a person’s beliefs actually causes them to cling even more firmly to those beliefs.

 * Reaction: When someone feels intellectually attacked or forced to admit a mistake, their ego hardens. They build a stronger mental fortress to protect the views they already hold.

5. Psychological Safety

In psychotherapy practice, it is often found that harsh truths can trigger extreme anxiety. For some people, a comforting lie is far more “functional” than a truth that shatters the structure of their lives.

 * Reaction: They choose to live in controlled ignorance rather than face the uncertainty or shame that arises if they must admit they’ve been wrong all along.

Conclusion

Psychologically, the truth often loses out to emotional comfort. Logic operates in the prefrontal cortex (the brain’s rational area), while resistance to the truth often originates from the limbic system (the center of emotions and self-defense).

When emotions and identity feel threatened, the limbic system often “hijacks” our logical abilities. That is why, in communication, presenting data alone is not enough; a person must feel emotionally safe to be able to accept a reality that contradicts what they previously believed.