You deserve to be in environments that bring out the softness in you, not the survival in you

  Hi, today I would like to share about the interesting topic, namely "You deserve to be in environments that bring out the softness in you, not the survival in you", the main reason why I choose that topic because many people struggle to fight with the environment, instead of building self worth to bring softness in ourselves,  It should be noted that we live in this world to create characters that will be used by reality, if we are not able to create quality personality values, then reality will place us in an environment that weakens our personality, We need to remember that the quality of our personality determines whether reality will use us for something that is more expensive than our self-esteem or cheaper than our self-esteem.

  There are 5 things we need to pay attention to value about our qualifications 

  

1. Core Meaning 

This advice conveys that everyone deserves to be in an environment that makes them feel calm, gentle, and become the best version of themselves naturally, not an environment that constantly forces them into a state of survival, stress, or constant alertness.

  

2. Psychological Perspective 

The environment shapes behavior.

If someone lives in a place full of conflict, pressure, reproach, or threats, the brain will always be active in survival mode: anxious, defensive, easily angered, and finding it difficult to trust others.

 

The softness mode (rest/connection mode) is when someone feels safe, accepted, and valued.

This brings out the sides of:

 

- affection

- patience

- creativity

- empathy

- ability to connect with others

  

3. Implicit Message

 

Every reality invites you to: 

a. Evaluate your environment 

Does the place you are in right now: 

- often make you mentally exhausted?

- make you feel like you have to be constantly alert?

- make you feel marginalized or unappreciated?

 

b. Prioritize mental health 

You deserve to be in an environment that: 

- does not require you to be tough

- does not force you to endure fear or pressure

- provides space to grow peacefully

 

c. Recognize your limits

This also implies the importance of saying: 

"I need a healthy environment."

"I don't want to survive in a place that hurts me."

  

4. Life Wisdom

 

Often, people stay in bad environments because: 

- they are afraid of being abandoned

- they are afraid of looking weak

- they are used to the pain

- they feel they have no choice

 

Every reality reminds us:

 

✅Softness is not weakness — it's a sign that you feel safe and safety is a right of every human being.  

 

5. Practical Application

 

You can start by: 

- choosing friends who make you feel calm, not tense

- working in a place that values you, not exploits you

- living with people who understand you, not demand from you

- reducing interaction with toxic people

- creating a peaceful personal space

Giving too much free time to others can lower self-esteem.

  Hi, today I would like to share about the interesting topic, namely "Giving too much free time to others can lower self-esteem", the main reason why I choose that topic because not everyone can handle their time, Besides that, many people are willing to lose their time for something that is not related to their career, when they get instant pleasure, they immediately give up a lot of free time for it, there is advice “too much availability kills your value.”, which means

being too readily available (always there at any time) actually damages your worth, Why does this happen? Because time has two functions: to provide opportunities or to create regret. If we don't choose wisely, we will become victims of our own feelings.

  

🧠 Here is the core Meaning

 

This advice talks about boundaries and self-worth.

When someone is too often available, never refuses, or is always ready whenever called, then:

 

- Their presence is considered ordinary

- Others stop valuing their effort and time

- Their self-value decreases because they are not seen as “precious” or “limited”

 

Simply put:

What is too easily obtained is often considered worthless.

  

🔍 Deeper Analysis

 

1. Social Interaction Psychology

 

Humans tend to value: 

- What is rare

- What requires effort

- What is not always available

 

If you are always there 24/7 for others, they may unconsciously:

 

- Consider you a backup option

- Ignore your boundaries

- Take you for granted as something “given”

  

2. Quality vs. Quantity

 

Often, being present as needed, but with good quality, is far more appreciated than constant presence without limits.

  

3. Risks of Being “Too Available”

 

- Not appreciated → your effort is seen as normal

- Exploited → people tend to ask for more because they know you won’t refuse

- Burnout → you get tired from giving too much

- Loss of identity → you live according to others’ needs, not your own

 

⚖️ Balanced Meaning

 

This advice does not mean you should become cold or stingy with your time.

The key points:

👉 Value yourself by setting boundaries.

👉 Don’t always say “yes.”

👉 Let your availability have quality and meaning.

 

In this way, others will appreciate your time and yourself more.

  

📌 In relation to the workplace

 

Someone who: 

- Always accepts all tasks

- Is always ready at any time

- Never refuses

 

Will often: 

- Be overloaded

- Be considered a “jack of all trades,” not a professional

- Not get promoted or raise because they are seen as “permanent support”

Hopefully this article can give you an insight how to empower your career, good luck.

Why cognitive bias can occur in this life

  Hi, today I would like to share about the interesting topic, namely "Why cognitive bias can occur in this life", the main reason why I choose that topic because not everyone realizes about cognitive bias, many people can't understand what causes cognitive bias and where it comes, in simple terms, a Cognitive Bias is a systematic error in thinking that affects the decisions and judgments we make. Imagine your brain as a super-advanced computer that has to process millions of pieces of information every second. To avoid "overheating" or becoming too slow, the brain often uses mental shortcuts (called heuristics). These shortcuts usually help us make quick decisions, but sometimes they cause our logic to deviate or become non-objective. That's what we call cognitive bias.

 

Here's a deeper explanation of how it works and the most common types.

 

Why Do Cognitive Biases Occur? 

These biases don't mean someone is "stupid," but rather it's due to the natural way the human brain works. There are several main causes:

 

- Brain Efficiency: The brain tries to save energy by making quick assumptions based on past experiences.

- Emotions & Motivation: Our desires or fears often influence how we see facts.

- Social Pressure: The desire to be accepted by a group can change how we assess situations.

- Memory Limitations: Our brains often alter or fill in gaps in memory with details that don't actually exist.

 

The bottom line: Cognitive bias is a "filter" or colored lens that we unconsciously wear when looking at the world, so we don't see reality as it is, but rather as our brains interpret it.

 

Most Common Types of Cognitive Biases

 There are hundreds of types of biases, but here are some of the most common we experience in everyday life:

 

1. Confirmation Bias 

The tendency to seek out, interpret, and remember information that supports our own beliefs, while ignoring contradictory evidence.

 

- Example: You believe Geminis are annoying. When you meet one annoying Gemini, you say, "See, I'm right!" but you ignore ten other kind-hearted Gemini friends.

 

2. Sunk Cost Fallacy 

The tendency to continue doing something just because we have already invested time, money, or energy in it, even though it is clearly detrimental.

 

- Example: Continuing to watch a very boring movie in the cinema just because "it's a waste to have bought an expensive ticket," even though you could go out and do something more enjoyable.

 

3. Dunning-Kruger Effect 

The phenomenon where people with low abilities tend to overestimate their abilities, while experts often doubt their own abilities.

 

- Example: Someone who has just read one article about health then feels smarter than a doctor who has been in school for years.

 

4. Anchoring Bias 

The tendency to rely too heavily on the first piece of information we receive (the anchor) when making decisions.

 

- Example: When bargaining for an item, if the seller mentions an initial price of Rp500,000 (the anchor), then an offer of Rp300,000 will feel "cheap," even though the original value of the item might only be Rp100,000.

 

5. Halo Effect 

The tendency to judge a person's character as a whole based on only one prominent positive trait.

 

- Example: We often assume that people who are physically attractive automatically also have good, intelligent, or honest qualities.

 

6. Self-Serving Bias

The tendency to attribute success to one's own abilities, but to blame external factors when experiencing failure.

 

- Example: "I passed the exam because I'm smart," vs "I didn't pass the exam because the lecturer was biased."

 

Why is Understanding This Important?

 

Recognizing the existence of cognitive biases is crucial for: 

- Making Better Decisions: Avoiding financial losses or fatal errors in work.

- Improving the quality of interpersonal relationships: Understanding that our point of view is not always 100% correct makes us more empathetic to new information that may be more accurate than our point of view.

- Critical Thinking: Training ourselves to always check the facts before concluding something."

How to know that the way I am thinking so far is wrong rather than being right

   Hi, today I would like to share about the interesting topic, namely "How to know that the way I am thinking so far is wrong rather than being right", the main reason why I choose that topic because not everyone admits about the way they are thinking about something, This is a very brave question. Realizing that there may be something wrong in the way we think or act is the first step towards wisdom. Most people spend their lives blaming external circumstances, so they never grow.

To find "blind spots" or mistakes that you have not been aware of, you need to conduct a self-investigation in a way that is honest but non-judgmental.

Here is a systematic way to diagnose them:

 

1. Observe "Recurring Patterns" (The Common Denominator)

This is the most telling indicator. If you often experience the same problem repeatedly, even though the people, places, or situations change, then you are the only common denominator in all those occurrences.

 

- Example: If you always feel betrayed by friends (friend A, then friend B, then friend C), it is likely that the problem is not that "all friends are bad," but rather in how you choose friends or your unrealistic expectations.

- Action: Write down the 3 biggest recurring problems in your life. Look for the common thread. Is it a communication problem? An emotional management problem? Or an inability to say "no"?

 

2. Analyze Your Emotional Reactions (The Shadow Work)

Psychologist Carl Jung introduced the concept of "The Shadow." Often, what bothers us most about others is a reflection of what we reject in ourselves.

 

- Law of the Mirror: If you strongly dislike people who are "arrogant," ask yourself: "In what area of my life am I being arrogant or afraid of being seen as inferior?"

- Defensiveness: Notice when you receive criticism. On what topics do you immediately get angry or defend yourself aggressively? That's where the insecurity or fault you are protecting lies.

 

3. Ask for "Brutal Feedback" from Trusted People

We cannot see our own backs without a mirror. The people closest to us often know exactly what our shortcomings are, but they are afraid to say it because they don't want to hurt our feelings.

Do this experiment. Go to a friend, partner, or mentor you trust, and say:

 

"I'm trying to improve myself. Please answer 100% honestly, I promise I won't get angry. What is one behavior of mine that you think has been hindering my progress the most?"

 

Key: When they answer, shut your mouth. Don't defend yourself. Just listen, take notes, and reflect.

4. Audit "Locus of Control"

Check the language you use daily when facing problems.

 

- Victim Mentality: "I failed because of him...", "The economy is bad...", "My parents don't support me..."

- Responsible Mentality: "I failed because I didn't prepare enough...", "I haven't adapted to the economy...", "I haven't been able to convince my parents..."

If the narrative in your head always points outward, that is the main fault. You are surrendering control of your life to things you cannot change.

 

5. Do the "5 Whys" Technique

This is a technique used by Toyota to find the root cause of production problems, but it is very effective for life problems. Ask "Why" five layers deep.

Case Example: "I feel like my career is stuck."

 

- Why? Because my boss didn't give me a promotion.

- Why? Because he feels my work is mediocre.

- Why? Because I often finish tasks late.

- Why? Because I often procrastinate at the start of projects.

- Why? (Root Cause) Because I actually don't like this job and I'm afraid to look for a new one.

Here you discover that what you blamed was "The Boss," when the root is "Your Fear of changing careers."

Important Reflection

Knowing your own mistakes feels as bitter as swallowing medicine. You may feel ashamed or sad for a moment. That's normal.

However, remember this: A mistake you are aware of is a mistake you can fix. As long as you are not aware of it, you are the passenger. Once you realize it, you are the driver.

How to deflect a sense of doubt when it attacks human's soul

   Hi, today I would like to share about the interesting topic, namely "How to deflect a sense of doubt when it attacks human's soul", the main reason why I choose that topic because self doubt always monitor what human do in daily activity, Doubt is a heavy burden for the soul. It is often not a sign of ignorance, but a sign of fear—fear of making mistakes, fear of regret, or fear of others' judgments. When left unchecked, doubt creates "analysis paralysis" that keeps us stuck in place.

To free ourselves from this bondage, we need an approach that touches both mindset and practical action. Here is a step-by-step guide to overcoming it:

 

1. Make Peace with Imperfection

The root of doubt is perfectionism. We hesitate to take action because we wait for the "perfect" moment or a decision that guarantees 100% success.

 

- Understand Reality: There is no perfect decision. Every choice carries its own risk.

- Shift Focus: Change your mindset from "I must make the right decision" to "I will make a decision, then improve it through my efforts."

- Mantra: "Done is better than perfect."

 

2. The "Worst-Case Scenario" Technique (Fear Setting)

Often, our fear of failure is much greater in our minds than in reality. Use this Stoic technique to neutralize fear:

 

- Write Down Your Doubts: What exactly are you afraid of if you take step X?

- Imagine the Worst-Case: If you fail completely, what is the worst thing that could happen?

- Find Solutions: If the worst happens, what can you do to fix it?

- Evaluate: You will often realize that the worst-case scenario is not fatal and can be remedied.

 

Remember: The pain of future regret (for not trying) is usually far more tormenting than the pain of temporary failure.

 

3. Limit Information and Time (The Paradox of Choice)

In the digital age, we often hesitate because of too many options and too much information.

 

- Limit Options: If there are 10 choices, immediately narrow down to the top 3 options. Choose one from those.

- Set Strict Deadlines: Parkinson's Law applies: "Work (or decisions) will expand to fill the time available."

- For small decisions (lunch, clothes): Give yourself 30 seconds.

- For medium decisions (buying gadgets, holiday routes): Give 2 hours.

- For big decisions (career, moving house): Allocate 3 days for research, then decide.

 

4. Train Your "Decision Muscle" with Small Things

Decision-making ability is like a muscle. If you hesitate on big matters, start training decisiveness with small ones.

 

- At a restaurant, choose your menu in less than 1 minute and stick with it.

- Pick a different route home without overthinking.

- These exercises will habituate your brain to trust intuition and reduce post-decision anxiety.

 

5. Use the 5-Second Rule

Mel Robbins, a renowned author, introduced The 5 Second Rule to break the chain of doubt in the brain.

When you have an impulse to do something productive or make a decision, but doubt begins to surface:

 

- Count down: 5 - 4 - 3 - 2 - 1.

- Move immediately or decide when the countdown reaches 1.

- This countdown shuts down the prefrontal cortex (the part of the brain that overthinks or seeks reasons) and activates the action-oriented part of the brain.

 

6. Surrender (Tawakal)

After using reason (research and logical considerations), the rest lies in areas beyond our control.

Acknowledging our limited humanity and entrusting the final outcome to God (the Universe) is the most powerful calming remedy for the soul. The belief that "What passes me was never meant for me, and what is destined for me will never pass me" will drastically reduce the burden of doubt.

Summary of Action Steps

| Problem | Quick Solution |

| Fear of making wrong choices | Remember that mistakes can be corrected (Reversibility). 

| Too much information | Limit research time, stop seeking new opinions. 

| Overthinking | Use the 5-Second Rule and take physical action. 

| Fear of regret | Compare the risk of failure vs. the risk of lifelong regret. 

The Long-Term Effects of Gaslighting in Relationships and How to Deal with It

  Hi, today I would like to share about the interesting topic, namely "The Long-Term Effects of Gaslighting in Relationships and How to Deal with It", the main reason why I choose that topic because many spouses can't detect gaslighting in relationship status, If we pay attention to research by psychology experts, Gas lighting is part of a person's inability to show the honesty of their dark side, On average, they were victims of violent trauma before they built a serious relationship, Gaslighting is a severe form of psychological manipulation and emotional abuse where one person seeks to make the victim doubt their own memory, perception, and sanity. In relationships, this insidious behavior can have profound and long-lasting psychological effects.

💔 Long-Term Psychological Effects of Gaslighting

The constant, systematic erosion of reality caused by gaslighting can lead to serious mental health consequences that persist long after the abusive relationship ends.

 * Pervasive Self-Doubt and Confusion: This is the core long-term effect. Victims struggle to trust their instincts, feelings, and thoughts, which can extend beyond the abusive relationship and affect all areas of life, leading to indecision and an over-reliance on others for validation.

 * Mental Health Disorders: Chronic exposure to the stress and invalidation of gaslighting can contribute to or exacerbate mental health conditions, including:

   * Anxiety and Chronic Stress: The victim is constantly on edge, anticipating the next manipulation or lie, leading to a state of hypervigilance.

   * Depression: Feelings of hopelessness, sadness, and despair resulting from the ongoing emotional abuse and diminished self-worth.

   * **Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) or Complex PTSD (C-PTSD): Especially in severe cases, the trauma can result in symptoms like flashbacks, nightmares, and avoidance behaviors.

 * Erosion of Self-Esteem and Identity: Victims internalize the abuser's messages that they are "crazy," "wrong," or "too sensitive." They lose their sense of self, values, and worth, often believing their identity is defined by the gaslighter.

 * Social Isolation and Trust Issues: The gaslighter often isolates the victim from friends and family, making it harder to break free. Even after leaving, the trauma can cause difficulty trusting new people, opening up, or feeling safe in future healthy relationships.

 * Impaired Decision-Making: Due to constantly having their judgment questioned and invalidated, victims may become highly indecisive and feel incapable of making sound choices independently.

✅ How to Deal with Gaslighting and Begin Healing

Dealing with gaslighting involves strategies for immediate defense, establishing boundaries, and a long-term healing process to reclaim your reality.

1. Immediate Defenses & Validation

 * Acknowledge and Validate Your Experience: The most crucial first step is to recognize the manipulation and believe yourself. Tell yourself: "I know my reality," and "My feelings are valid."

 * **Document Everything (The "Paper Trail"): Keep a private, secure record of conversations, incidents, dates, and times. Writing down the facts can serve as a powerful reality check when the gaslighter tries to deny or distort what happened.

 * Disengage from the Argument: The gaslighter aims to draw you into circular arguments. Refuse to debate your reality. Use simple, non-emotional statements like:

   * "I know what I saw."

   * "That's your perception, and this is mine."

   * "I'm not going to continue this conversation right now."

2. Re-establishing Boundaries and Support

 * Set and Enforce Firm Boundaries: Clearly communicate what behavior you will and will not accept, and stick to the consequences if the boundary is violated. In severe cases, this means limiting or cutting off contact entirely.

 * Seek Outside Support: Talk to trusted friends, family members, or colleagues who can validate your experiences and perception of events. Gaslighters work by isolating you, so reconnecting with a supportive network is vital.

 * Educate Yourself: Learn about the tactics of gaslighting and emotional abuse. Understanding the mechanism of the manipulation empowers you to recognize it and resist it.

3. The Healing and Recovery Journey

 * Professional Therapy: A mental health professional (like a trauma-informed therapist or a therapist specializing in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy/CBT) can provide essential tools for recovery. Therapy helps:

   * Process the trauma and grief.

   * Rebuild self-trust and self-esteem.

   * Challenge negative, internalized messages (cognitive restructuring).

 * Focus on Self-Care and Reconnection: Engage in activities that help you reconnect with your authentic self and intuition:

   * Journaling to anchor your thoughts and feelings.

   * Practicing mindfulness or meditation to feel grounded.

   * Engaging in hobbies, exercise, or creative activities that you enjoy and that reaffirm your self-agency.

 * Be Patient and Practice Self-Compassion: Healing from psychological abuse is a long, non-linear process. Forgive yourself for any perceived shortcomings, acknowledge that you are a survivor, and give yourself grace to heal at your own pace.

If you are currently in a situation involving gaslighting or other forms of emotional abuse, consider reaching out to a local abuse hotline or mental health professional for immediate support and resources.

What makes person feels mentally and emotionally drained

   Hi, today I would like to share about the interesting topic, namely "What makes person feels mentally and emotionally drained", the main reason why I choose that topic because most people get emotional drained in the computerized industry area, let's try to pay attention from the research, Emotional exhaustion (often associated with emotional burnout) is a condition in which a person feels mentally and emotionally drained as a result of prolonged, poorly managed stress, to overcome weakened emotional levels, we need a gap between the rest phase and the stress phase to balance the stress level.

Here are the main categories and specific causes of someone experiencing emotional exhaustion:

Causes of Emotional Exhaustion

The main cause of emotional exhaustion is chronic or prolonged stress that drains a person's energy and psychological resources.

 

1. Work-Related Factors

Emotional exhaustion often stems from the professional environment:

 

- Excessive Workload: Too many tasks (overload), long working hours/overtime, or working without adequate breaks.

- High-Stress Jobs: Working in fields that require intensive emotional attention (e.g., teachers, nurses/medical staff, social workers, customer service).

- Lack of Recognition/Appreciation: Feeling that hard work is not valued or recognized.

- Toxic Work Environment: Presence of conflict, lack of support from superiors or colleagues, or a work culture that demands excessive perfection.

- Role Ambiguity: Lack of a clear job description, leading to confusion and frustration.

 

2. Factors Related to Personal Life & Relationships

Problems in daily life can be a major source of emotional exhaustion:

 

- Significant Life Changes: Experiencing major events such as divorce, death of a loved one, moving house, or job loss.

- Financial Problems: Prolonged economic hardship or mounting debt.

- Heavy Caregiving Responsibilities: Caring for family members with chronic illnesses, or raising young children (especially without adequate support).

- Lack of Support System: Feeling alone, lonely, or not having someone trusted to share problems with.

- Difficult Relationships: Being trapped in unhealthy, conflict-ridden, or emotionally demanding relationships (e.g., being a people pleaser).

 

3. Lifestyle & Personal Factors

How individuals manage themselves also contributes to emotional exhaustion:

 

- Inability to Manage Emotions: Often suppressing emotions (holding back feelings of sadness, anger, or disappointment) instead of expressing them in a healthy way.

- People Pleaser Tendencies: Always trying to please others, having difficulty saying "no," and often sacrificing one's own needs.

- Unhealthy Lifestyle: Chronic lack of sleep, poor diet, or lack of time for exercise and self-care.

- Monotony and Boredom: Being stuck in a boring routine without challenges or enjoyable things that can provide motivation.

- Mental Health Issues: Other conditions such as depression, anxiety, or chronic illness can also trigger or worsen emotional exhaustion.

In short, emotional exhaustion occurs when the emotional demands coming from the environment (work, relationships, crises) exceed a person's capacity to cope and recover.

Why are established habits difficult to break

  Hi, today I would like to share about the interesting topic, namely "Why are established habits difficult to break", the main reason why I choose that topic because the question that I mentioned in the topic touches on the core of the psychology and neuroscience of habits. Habits that have been performed frequently become very difficult to eliminate because they are deeply rooted in three levels: the Brain (Biological), Behavioral Patterns (Psychological), and the Environment.

 

Here are the main reasons why habits are difficult to break:

 

🧠 1. Brain Mechanism (Strong Neural Pathways)

Habits are the brain's way of conserving energy. When an action is repeated many times, the brain transforms it from a conscious decision-making process into an automatic response, which involves the following mechanisms:

 

- Reinforced Neural Pathways (Neuroplasticity): Every time you repeat a habit (e.g., smoking when stressed), the neurons in the brain associated with that action connect more strongly. Imagine it like creating a path in a meadow; the more often it is traversed, the clearer and easier the path becomes.

- Result: The action becomes a default response that is performed without needing to think hard.

- Role of Basal Ganglia: This part of the brain stores habits. When a habit is stored here, the part of the brain responsible for logic and conscious thought (Prefrontal Cortex) no longer needs to work.

- Result: Habits operate subconsciously, making them difficult to "access" and change by sheer willpower.

- Dopamine Effect: Habits that provide quick rewards—such as the feeling of comfort after eating something sweet or relief after procrastinating—release the neurotransmitter dopamine.

- Result: Dopamine creates a strong urge (craving) to repeat the action when a trigger (cue) appears, even if you know the habit is bad.

 

🔁 2. The Habit Loop

Every habit operates within a three-step cycle that locks in your behavior:

 

- Cue: The trigger is a signal that tells the brain to enter automatic mode (e.g., seeing a cellphone, 7 PM, feeling bored, or a specific location).

- Routine: The action you take in response to the trigger (e.g., grabbing a snack, opening social media).

- Reward: The benefit or satisfaction you get (e.g., sweetness, feeling entertained, temporary relief).

Difficult to Break Because: This cycle creates an expectation. Once the Cue appears, your brain automatically expects the Reward. If you try to break the Routine, your brain will send strong "need" or "anxiety" signals (craving), demanding that you complete the cycle to get the predicted reward.

 

🛋️ 3. Psychological and Environmental Factors

 

- Comfort and Safe Zone: The brain tends to prefer predictability. Old habits feel safe and comfortable, even if they are bad. Change brings uncertainty, which the brain often interprets as danger or stress.

- Self-Identity: If you often repeat a habit, it can become part of who you are ("I am a person who likes to stay up late" or "I am not disciplined"). Changing habits means changing self-identity, which feels psychologically very heavy.

- Environmental Support: An environment that is not supportive or is full of triggers will greatly hinder change. If all your friends smoke, it is very difficult for you to quit because your environment constantly provides Cues and social Routines.

 

Conclusion:

Habits are difficult to break not because you are weak, but because habits are very efficient automatic pathways created by your brain to conserve energy. To change them, you cannot rely solely on willpower, but must identify and break/replace elements in the Habit Loop (Cue → Routine → Reward) so that the brain can build new neural pathways."

How to anticipate and manage deep trauma

   Hi, today I would like to share about the interesting topic, namely "How to anticipate and manage deep trauma", the main reason why I choose that topic because many people can't survive with a deep trauma in the past, as we know that anticipating and managing deep trauma is a process that requires patience, time, and self-compassion. Trauma is not just being "sad," but rather the nervous system's response to events that shake your sense of security.

 

Here are structured steps to help you manage the impact of trauma and prevent it from taking over your life:

 

1. Self-Stabilization (Emotional First Aid)

When memories or pain from trauma arise (flashbacks), your nervous system goes into fight, flight, or freeze mode. The first step is to bring yourself back to the "now" moment. 

- Grounding Techniques: Use the 5-4-3-2-1 technique to stop dissociation (feeling disconnected from reality).

- 5 things you can see.

- 4 things you can touch (texture of clothes, table).

- 3 sounds you can hear.

- 2 smells you can smell.

- 1 taste you can savor (or one good thing about yourself).

- Regulate Breathing: Deep breathing signals to the brain that you are safe. Try the 4-7-8 technique (Inhale for 4 seconds, hold for 7 seconds, exhale slowly for 8 seconds).

 

2. Validation and Acceptance

Often we try to "anticipate" trauma by rejecting it or pretending everything is fine. This actually makes things worse.

 

- Allow Yourself to Feel: It's okay to feel broken, angry, or scared. Those emotions are valid. Cry if necessary; tears contain stress hormones that the body needs to release.

- Avoid Toxic Positivity: Don't force yourself to immediately "take the lesson." Focus on healing the wound first before looking for meaning.

 

3. Rebuilding a Sense of Security

Trauma damages the sense of security. You need to rebuild structure in your life.

 

- Create Small Routines: Trauma creates chaos. Routines create predictability. Waking up, eating, and showering at the same time can be very helpful in stabilizing your mental state.

- Create a Safe Space: Designate one place (could be a bedroom or a specific corner) where you feel completely safe and have full control over the environment.

 

4. Processing Through Expression (Externalization)

Getting the trauma out of your head and into another medium helps reduce cognitive load.

 

- Journaling: Write down what you feel without editing it. The brain dump technique (dumping all the contents of your mind) is very effective in reducing noise in the head.

- Expressive Arts: Sometimes words are not enough. Drawing, painting, or listening to music can access the emotional parts of the brain that language cannot reach.

 

5. Professional Help (Highly Recommended)

Deep trauma often changes the structure of the brain and is difficult to heal alone. Professional therapy is the best form of anticipation to prevent trauma from becoming a long-term disorder (such as PTSD).

Consider the following therapies:

 

- CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy): Helps change negative thought patterns.

- EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing): Very effective specifically for trauma, helping the brain reprocess painful memories.

- Somatic Therapy: Focuses on how trauma is stored in the body (such as chronic muscle tension).

 

6. Physical Body Care

Trauma is not just in the mind, but also in the body (The Body Keeps the Score).

 

- Physical Movement: Light exercise, yoga, or just walking helps burn adrenaline and cortisol that accumulate due to trauma stress.

- Adequate Sleep: While sleeping, the brain processes emotions. Sleep disturbances will make trauma recovery more difficult.

 

What to Avoid? 

- Self-Isolation: Being alone constantly gives room for negative thoughts to multiply. Stay connected with at least one person you trust.

- Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms: Avoiding feelings with alcohol, illicit drugs, or impulsive behavior only delays the pain and adds new problems.

 

Brief Summary 

Phase Main Focus Action 

Present Moment Calm Deep breathing, 5-4-3-2-1 Grounding techniques 

 

Deep trauma is an "inner wound." Just like a broken bone that needs a cast and time to fuse back together, your inner self also needs time.

Why do we blame others for other people's Inability

 

  Hi, today I would like to share about the interesting topic, namely "Why do we blame others for other people's Inability", the main reason why I choose that topic because many people like to blame others from inability, "From a psychological perspective, the answer is clear: Objectively, it's not feasible, yet subjectively, people often find themselves doing it. Psychology not only looks at the "facts" of inability but also examines why the human brain has a tendency (bias) to keep blaming—either blaming oneself (self-blame) or others—even when the inability is real.

 

Here's a breakdown from a psychological standpoint:

 

1. Why Do We Blame Others for Inability?

When we see others fail to do something (even if they are unable), our brains often experience a cognitive bias called the Fundamental Attribution Error.

 

- What is it? We tend to judge others' failures as a result of their internal character (lazy, stupid, careless), when in reality, it is due to external situations (illness, disaster, physical limitations).

- Example: Someone is late for a meeting because of a flat tire (situational/inability). Their boss might think, "They are a person who is undisciplined" (character), instead of "They are just having bad luck."

- Social Psychology: Humans do this to maintain a sense of safety. Acknowledging that "bad things can happen for no reason (external factors)" is scary. It's easier to blame the person.

 

2. Why Do We Blame Ourselves? (Illusion of Control)

This is the most painful phenomenon. Why does someone feel guilty for not being able to save a terminally ill parent or not being able to prevent an accident?

 

- Illusion of Control: Humans have a deep psychological need to feel in control. Acknowledging "I am powerless" is often more frightening than feeling guilty.

- Subconscious Logic: "If I feel guilty, it means I should have been able to do something." This provides a false sense of security that in the future, we can prevent bad things from happening again.

- Hindsight Bias: The tendency to see past events as something that "should have been predictable."

Example: "I should have known it would rain that day, so I wouldn't have taken them out." In fact, when the decision was made, that data did not exist or the ability to predict it was impossible.

 

3. The Concept of "Psychological Inability"

Psychology also introduces the nuance that "inability" is not just physical. There are conditions where the brain refuses to cooperate, which are often misinterpreted as "lazy" or "unwilling."

 

- Executive Dysfunction: Often occurs in ADHD, depression, or severe anxiety. Someone wants to do something, but the neural pathways in their brain are jammed. They are literally "unable" to start the task.

- Blaming people in this condition can worsen their mental state without improving performance.

- Learned Helplessness: If someone constantly fails or is suppressed, they may feel "unable" when they are actually capable. In this case, blaming them is also ineffective; they need confidence rehabilitation, not punishment.

 

4. The Impact of Blaming Inability

Blaming someone (or yourself) for something beyond their capacity is toxic to mental health (Toxic Guilt/Shame).

 

Aspect Healthy Guilt Toxic Guilt/Shame 

Trigger Making a mistake that is within our control. Feeling responsible for something beyond our control. 

Self-Message "I made a mistake." "I am a mistake/failure." 

Result Self-improvement & responsibility. Depression, anxiety, & mental paralysis. 

 

Psychological Conclusion

Psychology teaches the concept of Radical Acceptance:

 

- Acknowledging limitations is a sign of mental health, not weakness.

- Humans have cognitive, emotional, and physical limits.

- Blaming people (or yourself) for absolute inability is a form of cognitive distortion (irrational thinking).

 

Humans deserve to be forgiven for their limitations. Perfection is not a requirement for being a valuable human being."

The habit of people who like to dominate conversations

  Hi, today I would like to share the interesting topic namely "the habit of people who like to dominate conversations", the main reason why I choose that topic because not everyone is aware about the topic once they are talking with others, sometimes there are types of people who don't care who they are talking to, moreover, they also do not adjust to the conditions of the person they are talking to, The psychological view on the habit of people who like to dominate conversations (conversation monopolization) is that this behavior is often rooted in certain personality factors, motivations, and psychological needs, and can negatively impact social interactions.

 

In general, this dominating behavior indicates an imbalance in communication and can make the other person feel ignored or unappreciated.

 

🧐 Underlying Psychological Factors

The habit of dominating conversations can be caused by various factors, including:

 

1. - Need for Validation and Attention: Someone may talk excessively to gain approval, recognition, or attention from others. For them, attention is an affirmation (validation) that they are valued and important.

2. - Low Self-Esteem: Although they may appear confident, some people use conversation domination as a defense mechanism. They control the narrative and information shared to avoid criticism, judgment, or vulnerability.

3. - Narcissistic Traits: In more extreme cases, this behavior can be associated with Narcissistic Personality. Narcissistic individuals tend to have a sense of superiority, an excessive focus on themselves, and consider their ideas/opinions more important.

4. - Social Anxiety: Ironically, some people talk incessantly to avoid silence or social anxiety. They fill every gap in the conversation because they feel anxious or afraid that silence will cause them to lose the opportunity to speak or their ideas will be forgotten (cognitive impatience).

5. - Excessive Enthusiasm or Lack of Self-Awareness: Sometimes, this behavior arises from great enthusiasm for a topic or a lack of awareness of non-verbal cues (body language, expressions) from the other person who wants to interrupt or respond.

 

🗣️ Characteristics of Dominating Behavior

People who dominate conversations typically exhibit the following characteristics:

 

- Frequently Interrupting: They find it difficult to restrain themselves and often cut off other people's conversations to immediately convey their ideas or opinions.

- Focus on Themselves: The topic of conversation tends to revolve back to their own experiences, achievements, or opinions.

- Lack of Active Listening: They may appear to be listening, but are actually just waiting for their turn to speak or formulating a response, rather than understanding other people's perspectives.

- Wanting to Control the Direction of the Conversation: They try to steer the discussion topic to areas they master or want, ignoring topics brought up by others.

 

📉 Social Impact

From a social psychology perspective, the habit of dominating can damage relationships and group interactions. Others tend to feel uncomfortable, ignored, or unappreciated, which can ultimately lead to the dominating person being shunned in social circles, even though the initial intention may have only been to share or interact.

 

Understanding this can help individuals with this habit to practice more balanced communication skills, such as listening actively and giving space to others."

Does everyone have the right to be a righteous person?

  

   Hi, today I would like to share about the interesting topic, namely "Does everyone have the right to be a righteous person?" The main reason why I choose that topic because not everyone braves enough to learn something from the wrongdoings and how they leave their old behavior to shape new one, To be a righteous person, we must admit our mistakes first, after that we leave those mistakes permanently and start new habits. In general, in the context of human rights and self-potential, everyone has the right to live a life that is right and to have views that they consider right. However, the meaning of "a righteous person" varies greatly depending on the lens used.

 

Here is a review from a psychological perspective: 

Psychological View of the Concept of "Righteous Person" 

The science of psychology tends not to use the term "righteous person" in an absolute moral or spiritual sense. Instead, psychology focuses more on the concepts of adaptive behavior, mental health, emotional maturity, and morality based on cognitive and social development.

 

Psychology views that individuals have the potential to develop in a better direction (self-actualization) and make ethical choices, but rejects the single concept of absolute truth.

 

1. Behavior Considered "Right" Psychologically

 

In psychology, characteristics that are considered to contribute to well-being and healthy social functioning (often broadly associated with living life "right") include:

 

- Integrity and Authenticity: Living in harmony between self-values (internal) and actions (external).

- Empathy and Moral Compass: The ability to understand and feel the feelings of others, and to act in accordance with socially accepted moral standards to avoid harm to oneself and others.

- Resilience and Adaptability: Being able to cope with life's pressures and learn from mistakes (maturity).

- Self-Awareness (Metacognitive): The ability to reflect on one's own thoughts and actions.

 

2. Criticism of "Feeling the Most Righteous"

 

On the other hand, psychology is very critical of the concept of "feeling the most righteous" (often referred to as self-righteousness or God Complex). This attitude is seen as maladaptive behavior and can actually damage interpersonal well-being.

 

Negative Characteristics of "Feeling the Most Righteous":

 

- Cognitive Bias: Tend to only accept information that supports one's own views (Confirmation Bias) and ignore conflicting evidence.

- Egoscentism and Lack of Empathy: Difficulty seeing from other people's perspectives and the belief that their views are the only valid ones.

- Defense Mechanism: Often a psychological shield to protect vulnerable self-esteem (deep insecurity).

- Rejection of Criticism: Viewing criticism as a personal attack, which hinders personal growth and the ability to learn from mistakes.

 

⚖️ Conclusion

 

In essence, in psychology, what is more important than being a "righteous person" is being a whole (holistic), self-aware, and adaptive person, who is open to the possibility that they may be wrong and continuously strives to grow."

How to know that someone I love is actually liking me

  Hi, today I would like to share about the interesting topic, namely "How to know that someone I love is actually liking me", the main reason why I choose that topic because not everyone is sensitive to detect the love feeling from someone they love, Knowing someone's feelings, especially someone we like, can indeed be confusing. While there's no "definite formula" for knowing what's in someone's heart, there are some common signs and clues in behavior and communication that often indicate attraction.

 

Here are a few things you can look out for:

Non-Verbal Signs (Body Language)

Body language is often the most honest indicator of attraction. 

- Intense or Frequent Eye Contact: They seek or maintain eye contact with you for longer than usual. If they often look in your direction, then quickly look away when you catch them, that could also be a sign of nervousness due to liking you.

- Body Direction: When talking, their body, legs, or shoulders tend to point towards you, even in a crowd. This indicates focus and a desire to get closer.

- "Mirroring": Without realizing it, they may mimic your body language, gestures, or facial expressions. This is a sign of empathy and a naturally established connection.

- Nervousness or Small Movements: When near you, they may seem a bit nervous, such as frequently touching their hair, adjusting their clothes, or fiddling with items in their hands.

- Physical Proximity: They look for reasons to be physically close to you, perhaps sitting closer, or lightly touching you (like touching your arm when laughing).

Verbal Signs (Communication)

How they talk to you can also provide clues.

- Communication Initiative: They often initiate conversations, send messages, or call you first.

- Attention and Memory: They listen to what you say attentively and remember small details you've mentioned about yourself.

- Asking About Your Life: They show genuine interest in your life, hobbies, family, or future plans.

- Quality Time: They are always willing to make time for you, even when they are busy. They don't just "fit" you into their schedule, but make a schedule for you.

- Frequent Compliments: They often give sincere compliments, whether about your appearance, intelligence, or personality.

👥 Social Signs

Pay attention to how they behave when you are with others.

- Priority: In group events, they focus more on you and interact more with you than with others.

- Introductions to Friends/Family: If they introduce you to their friends or family, it could be a sign that they consider you important in their life.

- "Protective" or Helpful: They may try to help you or make sure you are okay, showing an instinct to take care of you.

💡 Important Point: The Best Way to Know

All the signs above are good indications, but nothing can be certain except from themselves.

The clearest way to know is to gradually and subtly do one of these:

- Asking Them Out for a Specific Activity: Invite them to do something just the two of you (for example, have coffee, visit an exhibition, or watch a movie). See if they enthusiastically accept and try to make the plan happen.

- Opening Up a Little: Share a bit of your personal feelings or thoughts and see how they respond. If they also open up and respond with warmth and support, that's a good connection.

- Giving "Hints" Back: Reciprocate their signs of attraction (such as eye contact or light touches) and see how they react. If they respond to it more intensely, that's a positive signal.

 

Warning: If they consistently give you mixed signals (such as being very attentive at one time, then disappearing at another), it may be wise to keep your distance or seek certainty through direct communication."

Why Someone Is Hindered in Learning New Things

  Hi, today I would like to share about the interesting topic, namely "Why Someone Is Hindered in Learning New Things", the main reason why I choose that topic because not everyone realizes why they aren't willing to learn something new, based on research, Obstacles to learn a new things are a common experience that anyone can have. The factors that cause these obstacles vary greatly, from internal psychological conditions to external environmental influences, Understanding the root causes of these obstacles is the first step to unlocking hidden learning potential and achieving sustainable personal growth.

 

1. Psychological Factors: When Thoughts and Emotions Become Barriers

 

Fear of Failure

- Definition: More than just not wanting to fail, this is a deep-seated fear of the consequences of failure. These consequences can include shame, loss of self-esteem, or disappointment from others.

Manifestations:

- Maladaptive Perfectionism: Setting unrealistic standards and feeling worthless if perfection is not achieved. This can cause someone to avoid new challenges for fear of not being able to meet overly high standards.

- Fixed Mindset: The belief that abilities are innate and cannot be changed. People with this mindset tend to avoid challenges because they fear proving that they are not smart or talented enough.

- Excessive Anxiety: Excessive anxiety can interfere with the ability to focus, learn, and remember new information.

Solutions:

- Develop a Growth Mindset: Believe that abilities can be improved through effort, practice, and perseverance.

- Focus on the Learning Process: Enjoy the learning process itself, rather than just fixating on the end result.

- Celebrate Small Progress: Appreciate every small step that is successfully achieved, and don't be too hard on yourself if you experience setbacks.

- Accept Failure as Feedback: See failure as an opportunity to learn and grow, not as proof of incompetence.

Lack of Self-Confidence

- Definition: Doubt about one's ability to succeed in a new task.

Common Causes:

- Negative Past Experiences: Having failed or been severely criticized when learning something in the past.

- Social Comparison: Comparing oneself to others who appear more competent.

- Imposter Syndrome: Feeling like a fraud and fearing being discovered as not as competent as others think.

Solutions:

- Start with Easy Tasks: Build self-confidence by starting with easy and successful tasks.

- Focus on Your Strengths: Recognize and appreciate the strengths and abilities you already possess.

- Seek Support from Others: Talk to friends, family, or mentors who can provide support and encouragement.

- Remember That Everyone Feels Unsure Sometimes: Don't feel alone, because everyone experiences self-doubt at some point.

- Anxiety

- Definition: High levels of anxiety can interfere with concentration, memory, and logical thinking skills.

Common Types:

- Test Anxiety: Anxiety specifically related to exams or evaluations.

- Social Anxiety: Anxiety in social situations, including when learning with others.

- Solutions:

- Relaxation Techniques: Deep breathing exercises, meditation, or yoga.

- Regular Exercise: Exercise can help reduce stress and improve mood.

- Get Enough Sleep: Lack of sleep can worsen anxiety.

- Professional Help: If anxiety is very disruptive, consider seeking help from a psychologist or psychiatrist.

 

2. Motivational Factors: Fuel That Drives the Learning Process

 

- Lack of Intrinsic Motivation

- Definition: No interest or enjoyment in the material being learned.

- Solutions:

- Find Out What Really Interests You: Identify topics or fields that excite you.

- Connect the Subject Matter to Your Interests: Find ways to link the subject matter to things you enjoy.

- Set Personal and Meaningful Learning Goals: Set goals that align with your values and aspirations.

- Lack of Extrinsic Motivation

- Definition: No rewards or consequences strong enough to encourage learning.

Solutions:

- Set Clear Goals and Reward Yourself: Give yourself a small reward each time you achieve a learning goal.

- Seek Support From Others: Ask friends, family, or mentors to provide support and motivation.

- Visualize the Benefits of Learning: Imagine how new knowledge and skills can improve your quality of life.

- Procrastination

- Definition: Postponing learning tasks until the last minute, often because of feeling overwhelmed or not knowing where to start.

Solutions:

- Break Down Large Tasks into Small Tasks: Make a list of tasks that are easier to manage.

- Create a Realistic Study Schedule: Allocate specific times for studying each day or each week.

- Eliminate Distractions: Turn off phone notifications, find a quiet place to study.

- Use the Pomodoro Technique: Study for 25 minutes, rest for 5 minutes.

 

3. Environmental Factors: The Influence of the World Around Us

- Unsupportive Learning Environment

- Distractions: Loud noises, interruptions from others.

- Lack of Resources: No access to books, internet, or necessary equipment.

- Unsafe Environment: Feeling uncomfortable or unsafe in the learning place.

Solutions:

- Find a Quiet and Comfortable Place to Study: A library, private workspace, or quiet cafe can be a good choice.

- Ensure You Have Access to the Resources You Need: Borrow books from the library, use the internet at an internet cafe, or purchase the necessary equipment.

- Change Your Learning Environment: If possible, move to a place that is more conducive to learning.

Social Pressure

- Parental Expectations: Parents who are too demanding or have unrealistic expectations.

- Peer Pressure: Pressure from peers not to study or to do things that do not support learning.

Solutions:

- Talk to Parents or Friends About Your Feelings: Communicate your needs and boundaries clearly.

- Set Clear Boundaries: Don't let others force their will on you.

- Seek Support From Positive People: Associate with people who support your learning goals.

Time Constraints

- Busy Schedule: Too many activities or other responsibilities.

- Poor Time Management: Not being able to manage time effectively.

Solutions:

- Create a Realistic Schedule: Allocate time for studying, working, resting, and other activities.

- Prioritize Tasks: Work on the most important tasks first.

- Delegate Tasks If Possible: Ask for help from others if you feel overwhelmed.

- Learn to Say "No": Don't hesitate to decline unimportant requests.

 

4. Physical and Health Factors: The Influence of the Body on the Mind

 

Fatigue

- Causes: Lack of sleep, lack of food, or working too much.

Solutions:

- Get Enough Sleep: Aim to sleep 7-8 hours each night.

- Eat a Healthy Diet: Consume nutritious and balanced foods.

- Exercise Regularly: Engage in regular physical activity to boost energy and reduce stress.

- Get Enough Rest: Give your body and mind time to rest and recover.

- Health Issues

- Chronic Diseases: Chronic diseases can interfere with the ability to learn.

- Mental Disorders: Mental disorders such as depression or ADHD can affect concentration, memory, and motivation.

- Learning Disabilities: Learning disabilities such as dyslexia or dyscalculia can make learning more difficult.

Solutions:

- Seek Professional Medical Help: Consult with a doctor or specialist if you have health problems that affect your ability to learn.

- Poor Nutrition

- Impact: Lack of essential nutrients can affect brain function and learning ability.

- Solutions:

- Eat a Balanced and Nutritious Diet: Consume fruits, vegetables, whole grains, lean protein, and healthy fats.

- Drink Enough Water: Dehydration can impair brain function.

- Avoid Processed Foods and Sugary Drinks: Processed foods and sugary drinks can cause blood sugar spikes followed by energy crashes.

 

By understanding the various factors that can hinder someone from learning new things, we can take steps to overcome these obstacles and unlock hidden learning potential. Remember that learning is an ongoing process, and everyone has the ability to learn and grow."

Types of learning disabilities that people rarely know about

  Hi, today I would like to share about the interesting topic, namely "Types of learning disabilities that people rarely know about", the main reason why I choose that topic because not many people can realize whether they have learning disability or not, based on the trusted information, "Learning disabilities are a general term for various neurological conditions that affect a person's ability to receive, process, store, respond to, and communicate information. It does not mean that the person is less intelligent or lazy. In fact, many people with learning disabilities have average or above-average intelligence.

 

- Brief Definition: Neurological conditions that affect the learning process, regardless of intelligence level.

 

Key Aspects of Learning Disabilities: 

- Not a Matter of Intelligence: Learning disabilities have nothing to do with a person's intelligence level. People with learning disabilities can be very intelligent.

- Neurological: Learning disabilities are caused by differences in how the brain processes information.

- Diverse: There are various types of learning disabilities, each affecting different abilities.

- Lifelong: Learning disabilities are lifelong conditions, but with appropriate support and intervention, people with learning disabilities can succeed in school, at work, and in life.

 

Common Types of Learning Disabilities: 

- Dyslexia: Difficulty in reading, spelling, and writing. This is the most common type of learning disability.

- Example: Reversing letters (b becoming d), difficulty distinguishing letter sounds, slow reading.

- Dysgraphia: Difficulty in writing, including poor handwriting, difficulty spelling, and difficulty organizing thoughts in writing.

- Example: Illegible handwriting, difficulty writing structured sentences, difficulty expressing ideas in writing.

- Dyscalculia: Difficulty in mathematics, including understanding number concepts, memorizing math facts, and solving math problems.

- Example: Difficulty counting, difficulty understanding the concept of time, difficulty solving math word problems.

- Auditory Processing Disorder (APD): Difficulty in processing information that is heard, even though hearing is normal.

- Example: Difficulty following oral instructions, difficulty distinguishing similar sounds, difficulty understanding conversations in noisy environments.

- Visual Processing Disorder (VPD): Difficulty in processing visual information, even though vision is normal.

- Example: Difficulty reading maps, difficulty distinguishing shapes and colors, difficulty estimating distances.

- ADHD (Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder): Attention and hyperactivity disorder. Although not a learning disability, ADHD often accompanies learning disabilities and can affect the ability to learn.

- Example: Difficulty focusing, easily distracted, impulsive, hyperactive.

 

Causes of Learning Disabilities:

 The exact causes of learning disabilities are not fully understood, but the following factors are thought to play a role:

 

- Genetics: Learning disabilities tend to run in families.

- Problems During Pregnancy and Childbirth: Exposure to alcohol or drugs during pregnancy, premature birth, or complications during childbirth.

- Brain Injury: Traumatic brain injury can cause learning disabilities.

- Environmental Factors: Exposure to environmental toxins, such as lead, can increase the risk of learning disabilities.

 

Impact of Learning Disabilities:

 Learning disabilities can affect various aspects of a person's life, including:

 

- Academic: Difficulty in learning to read, write, do mathematics, and other subjects.

- Social: Difficulty interacting with peers, low self-esteem, and social isolation.

- Emotional: Anxiety, depression, and frustration.

- Employment: Difficulty obtaining and maintaining employment.

 

Identification and Diagnosis: 

Learning disabilities are usually diagnosed by trained professionals, such as educational psychologists, clinical psychologists, or learning disability specialists. The diagnostic process usually involves:

 

- Academic Evaluation: Testing the ability to read, write, do mathematics, and other academic skills.

- Psychological Evaluation: Measuring intelligence, attention, memory, and information processing skills.

- Observation: Observing the student's behavior and performance in class.

- Interviews: Interviewing students, parents, and teachers to obtain information about developmental history, educational history, and learning difficulties.

 

Intervention and Support:

 There is no cure for learning disabilities, but with appropriate intervention and support, people with learning disabilities can succeed. Common interventions and support include:

 

- Individualized Education: Educational programs tailored to the individual needs of the student.

- Therapy: Occupational therapy, speech therapy, or behavioral therapy can help students develop the skills needed to succeed.

- Accommodations: Modifications to the learning environment or tasks to help students overcome their difficulties. For example, giving extra time to complete assignments, providing printed notes, or using assistive software.

- Emotional Support: Counseling or support groups can help students cope with anxiety, depression, and frustration.

 

Hope this explanation helps!"

Return to the Strength of Faith and Inner Peace

   Hi, today I would like to share about the interesting topic, namely "Return to the Strength of Faith and Inner Peace", the main reason why I choose that topic because not everyone can master their own soul, all of us have the same enemy, namely facing the increasingly fierce "storm of worldly slander", it requires strong inner peace, and this is a great test of faith and mentality.

Based on spiritual values (especially in the context of Islamic teachings that often discuss slander in the end times) and psychological principles, here are steps to feel calm amid slander and the harsh words of others:

🙏 Key Principle: Return to the Strength of Faith and Inner Peace

The essence of calmness amid slander is realizing that true control lies with Allah (God) and your own response, not with the words of others.

1. Patience and Tawakal (Complete Surrender)

* Patience: Consider slander as part of life's trials. Allah says that He will test humans. Being patient does not mean being passive, but refraining from negative emotions and harmful reactions.

* Trust in God: Surrender all matters and outcomes to God. Be confident that if you are in the right, the truth will be revealed in His time, and God is the best of helpers. Remember that the reward for those who are patient and trust in God is far greater than the worldly losses caused by slander.

2. Increase Prayer and Worship

* Protective Prayer: Increase prayers asking for protection from slander, both slander as a major test and slander as an accusation. Prayer is the "weapon" of the faithful.

* Quality of Worship: Improve the quality of your prayers, remembrance of Allah, and reading of the Qur'an. This will soothe your heart and be a source of true inner peace. Devout worship will keep you from anxiety.

3. Focus on Introspection (Muhasabah)

 * Instead of focusing on the slanderer, focus on improving yourself. Slander from outside is often a reflection for us to correct our real shortcomings.

 * If the slander is untrue, strengthen your belief that Allah knows the truth of your intentions. If there is some truth behind it, use it as motivation to change for the better.

🧘 Practical Tips for Peace of Mind

How to respond physically and mentally when faced with slander:

4. Stay Calm and Avoid Emotional Reactions

 * Take a Break: When you hear slander, don't immediately respond with emotion, anger, or hasty retaliation. Take a deep breath, step aside, and calm yourself first.

 * Silence is Golden: Often, silence is the best response. Responding to slander with more slander will only prolong the conflict and lower your dignity. The Prophet Muhammad SAW said, "Whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day, let him say good things or remain silent."

5. Tabayyun (Verify Information)

 * Before reacting to news or gossip, always verify its accuracy. Don't be easily provoked by unclear news. This also applies to yourself so that you don't join in spreading slander.

6. Maintain a Positive Environment and Focus

 * Avoid Negative Sources: Limit your interaction with people who like to gossip or spread hatred. Also avoid social media or content that makes you feel uneasy.

 * Focus on Your Goals: Channel your energy into your work, achievements, and the good deeds you are doing. People who focus on goodness will not have time to think about slander.

7. Forgive and Be Generous

 * Forgiving is an act of freeing yourself from the burden of hatred and resentment. Forgive those who slander you, because in the end, the sin and harm of slander will return to the perpetrator (in a spiritual sense).

By holding fast to your faith, improving the quality of your worship, and choosing calm and wise responses, you will be able to weather the "storm of worldly slander" with a steadfast heart and preserved dignity.

What motivates human to reject the truth

   Hi, today I would like to share about the interesting topic, namely "What motivates human to reject the truth", the main reason why I choose that topic because many people reject the truth and they tend to defend their identity rather than shift their mindset to accept the truth, here is

from a psychological perspective, human rejection of truth (clear facts or reality) is often rooted in unconscious ego defense mechanisms. The main purpose of these mechanisms is to protect oneself from pain, anxiety, or threats to self-image.

 Here are some of the main factors that cause humans to reject the truth from a psychological point of view:

 

🛡️ Ego Defense Mechanisms

The most common is Denial, which is the refusal to accept or acknowledge a painful or threatening reality or fact.

 

- Protecting from Trauma or Emotional Pain: When a person is faced with a very traumatic reality (e.g., the death of a loved one, a diagnosis of a serious illness, or a major failure), the brain can automatically activate denial to give itself time to process intense pain gradually.

- Reducing Anxiety and Fear: Rejecting a frightening reality can provide a temporary sense of security and reduce stress levels, even if it is only an illusion.

🧠 Cognitive Biases

The human mind is not always rational; it has mental "shortcuts" called cognitive biases. These biases often lead us to reject new information that contradicts what we already believe.

- Confirmation Bias:

- The tendency to seek, interpret, and remember information in a way that confirms existing beliefs or hypotheses.

- Example: A person will actively ignore or downplay evidence that contradicts their views while exaggerating evidence that supports them.

- Dissonance Reduction:

- Cognitive dissonance is the mental discomfort felt when a person holds two conflicting beliefs, values, or attitudes.

- To reduce this dissonance, a person may reject new truths that contradict their old beliefs, even if the evidence for the new truth is clear. This helps maintain internal consistency.

- Illusory Truth Effect:

- The tendency to believe information that is repeated frequently, even if it is false. The more often a statement is heard, the easier and more familiar it is to process, and this familiarity is often interpreted as truth.

👤 Threats to Identity and Self-Esteem

Acknowledging certain truths can threaten a person's self-concept or self-esteem.

- Self-Image Protection: If the truth (e.g., that someone has failed or behaved badly) contradicts the positive self-image they want to maintain, denial will act as a protector.

- Fear of Losing Control: The truth about life's uncertainties, illnesses, or situations beyond one's control can create a sense of helplessness. Rejecting that truth can provide an illusion of control.

- Sense of Superiority (People Who Feel They Are the Most Right): Individuals with high levels of narcissism or superiority may reject criticism or facts that challenge their views because it threatens their status as "the most knowledgeable" or "always right."

👥 Social and Environmental Influences

Humans are social creatures, and the need to be part of a group is often stronger than the desire to accept unpopular facts.

- Social Reinforcement: Being in a group where everyone holds the same beliefs (even if those beliefs are wrong) will provide reinforcement. Acknowledging a different truth can risk being ostracized.

- Group Fanaticism (Ta'asshub): Rejection of the truth due to fanaticism towards a particular group, organization, or ideology. Science or truth will only be accepted if it comes from their own group.

 

In summary, humans reject the truth not because they are unable to understand it, but because accepting it would cause pain, discomfort, a threat to identity, or disrupt existing social relationships."

Why Do Desires Cause Suffering

 

   Hi, good day, today I would like to share about the interesting topic, namely "Why Do Desires Cause Suffering", the main reason why I choose that topic because many people get suffered when they have many desires in their mind, If we look at why many people suffer today, it is not because of desires, but rather than of having the lack of resources to execute those desires. In general, it is permissible and natural for humans to have many desires. Desire (or passion, aspiration, dream) is a natural part of human nature. Desire can be a motivation that drives us to advance, develop, create, and achieve noble goals.

 

🤔 Why Do Desires Cause Suffering?

 

Suffering does not always arise from desire itself, but from how we relate to those desires and the inability to fulfill them.

 

Some of the main reasons include:

 

1. Unlimited Desires (Dissatisfaction)

- The "Want More" Nature: Desires tend to never stop. When one desire is fulfilled, a new desire will arise (for example, already having Rp10,000 wanting Rp100,000, already having Rp100,000 wanting Rp1,000,000).

- Comparison: We often suffer from comparing what we have with what others have (envy, spite).

2. The Gap between Desire and Reality

- Limitations: Suffering often arises from the mismatch between unlimited desires and limited abilities or realities (time, money, health, or conditions beyond our control).

- Excessive Expectations: When hopes or expectations are too high and unrealistic, failure to achieve them will lead to stress, frustration, and disappointment.

3. Attachment

- According to some teachings, especially Buddhism (which refers to desire as Taṇhā or craving), suffering (called Dukkha) arises because of our attachment to desires and the results of those desires.

- We suffer not only when desires are not fulfilled, but also when something we get (pleasure) is not eternal and must end or be lost. We want to maintain what is pleasant and reject what is unpleasant.

4. Inability to Distinguish Needs and Wants

- Focusing too much on "wanting" (for example, wanting a luxury car) and forgetting "needing" (for example, needing safe transportation) can make life a burden and eliminate gratitude.

 

✅ So, What Should We Do?

 

Desire is like a double-edged sword: it can be a strong motivation, or conversely, a source of suffering.

 

The key is to manage desires by:

 

- Knowing Limits: Realizing that not all desires can or should be fulfilled.

- Focusing on Needs and Noble Goals: Sorting out which desires are important for the well-being of oneself and others, and which are only driven by ego or greed.

- Being Grateful: Learning to accept the current situation and be grateful for what you already have.

- Releasing Attachment: Striving to do your best, but also being ready and sincere in accepting the results, whether you succeed in getting them or not.

 

In short: Desire can be a source of inspiration, but excessive attachment and perpetual dissatisfaction are sources of suffering."

How not to make people suffered with their desires:

 

"🧠 1. Understand the Root of Suffering: "Attachment" to Desires

 

Desire itself does not cause suffering.

What causes suffering is attachment — that is, when we must have it in order to feel happy.

 

Example:

"I want to be accepted for a job there" → normal.

"If I'm not accepted, I'm a failure and my life is ruined" → this is attachment → causes suffering.

 

Key: change desires into preferences, not necessities. 

 

🌿 2. Change Your Mindset: "I choose, but I am not bound by the result"

 

This is a concept from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) and is also in line with the teachings of Stoicism and Islamic Sufism.

 

"I can want something, but I will not make the result a condition for my happiness."

 

🌸 Simple exercise:

 

Say: "I try my best, but I leave the result to God." 

Repeat every time anxiety about the result arises.

 

💭 3. Realize That Desires Always Come and Go

 

In mindfulness, we learn to see desires like waves in the sea of consciousness: they come, rise, and then recede.

If you just observe them without having to obey or reject them, they will not hurt you.

 

Exercise: When a strong desire arises, pause and say to yourself: "This is just a surge of desire. I see it coming... and I will let it go."

 

❤️ 4. Replace "I am lacking" with "I am growing"

 

Much suffering comes from feeling deficient: not smart enough, rich enough, liked enough, or successful enough.

 

Change that narrative to:

"I am enough, but I want to grow."

This ignites healthy motivation without feeling pressured.

  

🌙 5. Live with intention, not obsession

 

Intention = focusing on the process.

Obsession = focusing on the result.

 

A person with intention will work peacefully.

A person obsessed will be anxious even before starting. 

Why can we become so obsessed with our fears

"Hi, good day, today I would like to share about the interesting topic, namely " Why can we become so obsessed with our fears", the main reason why I choose that topic because not everyone can master their self-control, According to psychology, the reason people are obsessed with their fears is because they think the fear is real, not an illusion. In fact, fear is an illusion of the mind that produces expectations, I totally understand how it feels to be trapped in a never-ending cycle of fear in your head. It can be so exhausting and make us feel helpless, not let me elaborate the reason behind the fear through the explanation below.

 

Here are several underlying reason Why can we become so obsessed with our fears? 

 

1. Self-Defense Mechanism: Naturally, our brains are designed to protect us from danger. When we feel fear, the brain triggers a "fight or flight" response to help us face threats. However, sometimes this response can be excessive, causing us to constantly feel alert, even when there is no real danger. 

2. Unresolved Past Experiences: Trauma or bad experiences in the past can leave a deep mark on our minds. The fear we feel now may be our brain's way of reminding us of those experiences, even if we are not consciously aware of it. 

3. Negative Thinking Patterns: We tend to focus on negative things and ignore positive ones. This mindset can trap us in an endless cycle of fear. 

4. Lack of Control: Fear often arises when we feel we have no control over a particular situation. We may feel powerless to change things and end up obsessing over our fears as a way to try to control the situation. 

5. Underlying Anxiety: If you have underlying anxiety, you may be more prone to fear and find it harder to control. Anxiety can make our brains more sensitive to threats and more easily trigger a fear response. 

 

Obsessing over fear can be very disturbing, but there are things you can do to overcome it:

 

- Identify Your Fears: Try to identify what exactly makes you afraid. Is it fear of failure, fear of rejection, or fear of the unknown? Once you know what scares you, you can start looking for ways to deal with it. 

- Challenge Your Negative Thoughts: When you feel afraid, try to challenge the negative thoughts that come into your head. Are these thoughts really rational? Is there any evidence to support them? If not, try replacing those negative thoughts with more positive and realistic ones. 

- Focus on What You Can Control: Instead of focusing on things you can't control, try to focus on things you can control. For example, if you are afraid of failure, you can focus on thorough preparation and hard work. 

- Seek Support: Don't hesitate to seek support from friends, family, or mental health professionals. Talking to others about your fears can be very helpful in reducing feelings of isolation and gaining a new perspective. 

- Practice Relaxation Techniques: Relaxation techniques such as meditation, yoga, or deep breathing can help calm the mind and reduce anxiety. Try to set aside time each day to practice a relaxation technique that you enjoy. "

If you feel that fear is not empowering your strength right now, you just need to determine questions like this -> 

1. What kind of life mission can be completed in the next 10 years?

2. What types of crises are still rare to resolve?

3. What are my interests that can meet market needs?

4. Is my current fear an expectation or a reality?

5. What makes me enthusiastic if I do it in the morning?