Why do so many people find it so hard to be themselves

  Hi, today I want to share an interesting topic, namely "Why do so many people find it so hard to be themselves" The main reason why I chose this topic is because many young people don't know about themselves including their potential, Besides that, since childhood many people aren't educated to discover what's inside them through spiritual experiences, and they're accustomed to trusting the influence of their external environment rather than seeing the world from within, that is their biggest problem, but now I want to discuss more deeply about how to recognize your own existentiality, let's break this down about the causes why we can not get information to recognize ourselves, here are from several perspectives—psychological, social, and spiritual.

🌪️ 1. Because from childhood, we're shaped to be "someone else."

We grow up not with the question, "What do you like?", but with the words: "Don't be like that, you'll embarrass others." "A good boy should be like this." "What will people say?"

We are shaped by other people's standards first, not by our conscience.

🧠 2. Because we're too busy comparing.

Social media accelerates this. We see the best parts of other people's lives and then compare them to our deepest wounds.

Then feelings arise: "I'm not good enough." "I should be like her." "I don't deserve to be me."

Comparison is the quickest way to lose our identity.

 🎭 3. Because we wear masks to be accepted

We're afraid of being rejected, being seen as weird, not attractive enough, not meeting the "standard of success."

As a result, we pretend—being smart, cool, strong, funny, even though it's exhausting.

But wearing a mask can make us forget our true selves.

🔒 4. Because of unhealed wounds

Sometimes we struggle to be ourselves because we feel our true selves are unworthy.

This could be due to childhood trauma, rejection, or feelings of failure that haven't been accepted.

"I'm afraid people will find out who I really am... and they'll leave."

🧘‍♀️ 5. Because we're not used to being quiet and honest with ourselves

The world is so noisy.

We're busy chasing validation, but rarely sit still and ask ourselves: Who am I without all my accomplishments? What really makes me alive? If I didn't have to please anyone, what would I do?

💡 So... how do I start being myself?

 These small steps can help how to recognize our deep self:

✅Know your inner voice: Make a habit of meditating for 5–10 minutes per day. Listen to your inner voice without judgment.

✅Slow down: Pause. See if what you're pursuing is truly what you want.

✅Have the courage to say no: You don't have to be liked by everyone. Be firm about what you're not.

✅Accept your wounded parts: Don't hide them. Embrace them. Forgive them. Nurture them.

✅Shrink the outside world, enlarge the inside world: Compare less. Know more.

Type of character are needed for someone to achieve success

   Hi, today I want to share an interesting topic, namely "Type of character are needed for someone to achieve success", There are several reasons why I chose this topic because many people are curious about how to be successful, and some people want to change fate for the better life,  talking about success is not as easy as people imagine because there is no instant path to success, besides that, we must know how to recognize the types of consequences that must be taken to pay for success.  there are many factors that can lead someone to success, and there are a combination of these traits is often key. Here are some important traits that successful people generally possess:

1. Tenacity and Perseverance

Persistence is the ability to keep trying despite obstacles and failures. Successful people don't give up easily. They see failure as a lesson and an opportunity to grow, not as the end of the world. They persevere in pursuing their goals, even when the path feels difficult and tiring.

2. Self-Discipline

Self-discipline is the ability to control oneself and stay focused on long-term goals. This means making tough choices, such as resisting temptations that could interfere with work and remaining consistent with good habits, such as waking up early or exercising regularly. Self-discipline helps a person stay on track.

3. Adaptability

The world is constantly changing, and successful people are those who can adapt to these changes. They are not afraid to try new things, learn new skills, or change their strategies when necessary. This flexibility allows them to stay relevant and capitalize on emerging opportunities.

 4. Self-Confidence

A healthy sense of self-confidence is crucial. This doesn't mean arrogance, but rather confidence in one's own ability to overcome challenges and make sound decisions. Confident people tend to take calculated risks, communicate their ideas clearly, and worry less about what others think.

5. Courage

The courage to step outside of our comfort zone is crucial. Success often requires us to take frightening steps, such as starting a new business, moving to a different city, or speaking in public. Without courage, many valuable opportunities can be missed.

6. Goal-Oriented

Successful people have clear, well-defined goals. They not only dream but also create concrete plans to achieve those dreams. They know exactly what they want to achieve and the steps they need to take to get there.

7. Responsibility

Taking full responsibility for their actions, decisions, and outcomes is a key characteristic. Successful people don't blame others or circumstances when faced with problems.  They acknowledge their mistakes and seek ways to correct them, ultimately giving them greater control over their lives.

While possessing the above traits is helpful, it's important to remember that success is relative, and everyone's definition is different. The combination of traits that is most important may vary depending on the field and goals you're trying to achieve.

While all character traits require effort to develop, some are often considered the most difficult. Of the traits we've discussed, the most challenging to develop are self-discipline and adaptability.

Self-Discipline

Self-discipline is often considered difficult because it goes against our natural instinct to seek comfort and instant gratification. Our brains, by default, tend to choose the easiest path. For example, it's easier to procrastinate and watch a movie than to focus on completing a task.

Developing self-discipline means consciously fighting these urges, which requires significant mental energy. It's a daily battle that must be won repeatedly. Many people feel exhausted or fail midway because of the high level of consistency required.

Adaptability

Adaptability is also difficult because humans naturally prefer routine and the familiar. Change often brings uncertainty and fear.

Developing this character trait requires us to let go of old, comfortable ways and be willing to face uncertainty. This means constantly learning, stepping out of our comfort zones, and changing our mindsets. This can be very challenging, especially if we've been accustomed to a certain way of working or working in a certain environment for years.

 Ultimately, the difficulty in developing these character traits varies from person to person. Some people may be naturally highly disciplined but struggle to adapt, and vice versa. The most important thing is to recognize our weaknesses and continually practice to become better individuals.

How to optimize the subconscious mind

 

 Hi, today I want to share an interesting topic, namely "how to optimize the subconscious mind", The main reason why I chose this topic is because many people experience problems in optimizing their subconscious mind, It is important to know that optimizing the subconscious mind does not completely follow what we think, The subconscious mind just follows the habits we build every day even though we are not aware of it, by creating habits through the activities we choose, that's where we can optimize the role of our subconscious mind,

Here are some activities you can do:

Meditation and Mindfulness:

* How It Helps: Meditation trains you to quiet your constantly active conscious mind, allowing you to connect more deeply with your subconscious. This helps reduce stress, improve focus, and open up access to intuition.

* Practice: Take 10-20 minutes each day to sit quietly, focus on your breath, and observe your thoughts without judging them. There are many meditation apps and guides that can help.

Positive Affirmations:

* How It Helps: Affirmations are positive statements repeated to reprogram negative beliefs in your subconscious. By repeating them consistently, you can replace limiting thought patterns with empowering ones.

* Practice: Create specific, positive, and present-tense affirmations (e.g., "I am healthy and energetic," "I attract abundance," "I am confident and capable"). Repeat them every morning upon waking and every night before bed, or whenever you feel the need.

 Creative Visualization:

* How It Helps: The subconscious mind doesn't differentiate between real and imagined experiences. By visualizing your goal as if it has already been achieved, you send a powerful signal to your subconscious mind to make it happen.

* Practice: Close your eyes, imagine in rich detail (colors, sounds, smells, feelings) what you want to achieve. Feel the positive emotions that accompany it. Do this regularly, especially before bed and upon waking.

Journaling:

* How It Helps: Freewriting allows your subconscious mind to flow onto paper. This helps identify hidden thought patterns, fears, and desires that you may not be aware of. It is also a powerful reflection tool.

* Practice: Write down whatever comes to your mind without censorship. You can write about dreams, worries, ideas, or goals. There are also gratitude journals that focus on positive things.

Listening to Music or Subliminal Recordings:

* How It Helps: Some types of music or subliminal recordings are designed with positive messages inserted at frequencies below your auditory threshold. This aims to penetrate directly into the subconscious, bypassing the filter of the conscious mind.

* Practice: Find a subliminal recording that focuses on an area you want to improve (e.g., self-confidence, abundance, restful sleep) and listen to it while you relax or sleep.

Hypnosis or Auto-hypnosis:

* How It Helps: Hypnosis is a state of deep relaxation in which the subconscious mind is more open to suggestion. With the guidance of a hypnotherapist or through auto-hypnosis, you can implant positive ideas and eliminate negative beliefs.

* Practice: You can seek professional hypnotherapy sessions or learn auto-hypnosis techniques on your own through books or recordings.

De-cluttering (Tidying Up the Physical Environment):

* How It Helps: A cluttered physical environment often reflects clutter in the subconscious. Decluttering and organizing your space can create a sense of order and clarity in your mind.

* Practice: Start by tidying one small area each day. Throw away items you no longer need or like.

 

Read Inspirational Books and Autobiographies of Successful People:

* How It Helps: Consistently incorporating positive ideas and success stories into your mind will program your subconscious to believe in your own possibilities and potential.

* Practice: Allocate time each day to read books that are inspiring or relevant to your goals.

Active Dreaming and Dream Journaling:

* How It Helps: Dreams are the language of your subconscious. By recording and reflecting on dreams, you can gain insight into unresolved issues, fears, or hidden desires.

* Practice: Keep a notebook and pen next to your bed. Immediately upon waking, jot down anything you remember from your dream, even if only fragments.

Be in Nature or Engage in Creative Activities:

* How It Helps: Nature and creative activities like painting, writing music, or gardening often put you in a state of "flow," where your conscious mind quiets down and your subconscious intuition can emerge.

 * Practice: Take time to walk in nature, or schedule time for your creative hobby without the pressure to produce something “perfect.”

Human limitations in striving for something valuable

 Hi, today I want to share an interesting topic, namely "Human limitations in striving for something valuable", the main reason I have this topic is because many people don't know the limits of trying, let me remind you that the question of the limits of human endeavor is at the bottom line of the discussion between destiny and effort, humans will not get what they want if they are limiting themselves from doing something they can, they must continue the journey of trying until they are no longer able to try, Let's examine these limitations from various perspectives.

1. Physical Limits and Natural Abilities

Every human being has different physical limitations and natural abilities. For example:

* Physical Abilities: Not everyone can be an Olympic athlete or lift hundreds of kilograms, no matter how hard they train. There are biological limits that cannot be exceeded.

* Intellectual Abilities: While intelligence can be honed, there are innate cognitive limits that differentiate each individual's learning and understanding capacity.

* Health Conditions: Health limitations, such as chronic illness or disability, can hinder a person's efforts, even if their passion and will to strive remain strong.

2. Time and Resource Limitations

Time is a finite asset for everyone. We all have 24 hours in a day. The same goes for resources such as capital, information, or access to opportunities.

* Time: A person cannot do everything at once. There are choices and priorities that must be made when allocating time to endeavors.

 * Capital: Businesses require capital, both financial and non-financial (such as networks or knowledge). Limited capital can be a barrier to business development.

* Information and Access: Not everyone has equal access to up-to-date information, quality education, or networks that can open up opportunities.

3. Environmental and Social Constraints

The environment in which we live, including social, economic, and political structures, can also be a constraint:

* Economic System: The economic conditions of a country or region (e.g., job availability, inflation rate) can limit the output of individual businesses.

* Regulations and Laws: Applicable rules and laws (e.g., business licensing, taxes) can limit the type and scale of business that can be undertaken.

* Social and Cultural Conditions: Social norms, discrimination, or stereotypes can be barriers for certain individuals or groups in pursuing business.

4. The Limits of Destiny (God's Destiny)

In religious views, especially Islam, there are limitations called destiny (qada and qadar). This is a provision or decree from God that cannot be changed by human effort.

 * Death: Humans cannot delay or hasten their death, no matter how hard they try to live a healthy life.

* Time of Birth: We cannot choose when and where we are born.

* Some Calamities/Trials: Some events beyond human control, such as natural disasters or incurable diseases, are part of destiny.

However, it is important to remember that destiny does not negate effort. In fact, in many religious teachings, humans are commanded to strive to the maximum, and the results are left to God. There are the concepts of fate mu'allaq (fate that can be changed with effort and prayer) and fate mubram (fate that cannot be changed).

5. Psychological and Mental Limitations

In addition to external limitations, there are also internal limitations that are often the most powerful:

* Mental Blocks: Fear of failure, lack of self-confidence, or negative thought patterns can prevent someone from trying or taking risks.

* Excessive Perfectionism: The desire for perfection can cause someone to delay or never start a business.

 * Lack of Motivation or Discipline: Without strong motivation and discipline, efforts often stall.

So, What Are the Limits of Human Effort?

The limit of human effort is the point at which all reasonable efforts have been expended, to the best of one's ability, within the framework of sharia (for religious people) or ethics, and taking into account the realities of the environment and conditions.

This means:

* Strive to the maximum physically, intellectually, and strategically.

* Utilize available time and resources as efficiently as possible.

* Adapt to the environment and seek out opportunities.

* Face and overcome one's own psychological limitations.

* After all efforts have been made, the final outcome is left to God's will (fate). This is where tawakal, or surrender, lies.

We cannot force the outcome we desire if it exceeds our destiny or capabilities, but we are obligated to keep trying and not give up. Sincere and maximum effort is a form of our respect for the potential we have been given, while remaining aware that a greater power governs everything.

How to discipline a 4 year old of children

   Hi all, today I would like to share about the interesting topic, namely "How to discipline a 4 year old of children", the main reason why I choose that topic because not every parents can handle their children in discipline training, in order to know children's capabilities, we need to prove that adult can apply a discipline in any activity, 

Disciplining a 4-year-old requires patience, consistency, and age-appropriate strategies that emphasize teaching rather than punishing. At this age, children are still learning to manage emotions and understand rules. Here are some effective techniques:

1. Set Clear and Simple Rules

Use short and clear instructions. For example, "We use kind words" or "We clean up our toys after playing." Repeat rules often and ensure your child understands them.

2. Use Positive Reinforcement

Praise good behavior to encourage it. For example, say, "Great job sharing your toys!" Offer small rewards like stickers or extra playtime for following rules.

3. Offer Choices

Give your child a sense of control by offering choices. For example, "Do you want to wear the red shirt or the blue shirt?" This reduces power struggles and promotes cooperation.

4. Time-Out for Misbehavior

Use time-outs sparingly for significant misbehavior. Make them brief—about 4 minutes (1 minute per year of age). Explain calmly why they are in time-out and what behavior you expect instead.

5. Natural and Logical Consequences

Allow natural consequences when safe. For example, if they refuse to wear a jacket, they’ll feel cold. Use logical consequences that relate to the misbehavior, like losing toy privileges if toys are thrown.

6. Stay Calm and Consistent

Avoid yelling or overreacting. Stay calm and model the behavior you want to see. Consistency helps your child understand that certain behaviors always lead to the same consequences.

7. Teach Emotional Regulation

Help your child identify and name emotions (e.g., "I see you’re feeling frustrated because…").

Teach them coping strategies like taking deep breaths or counting to five.

8. Redirect Their Attention

Distract your child from undesirable behaviors by introducing a different activity. For example, if they’re about to throw something, say, “Let’s build with these blocks instead.”

9. Be a Role Model

Children imitate adults. Show patience, respect, and self-control in your interactions.

10. Avoid Physical Punishment

Physical punishment can harm the parent-child relationship and may lead to aggression or fear. Instead, focus on positive and constructive approaches.

11. Explain Consequences Beforehand

Let your child know the consequences of misbehavior ahead of time. For example, “If you throw sand, we’ll leave the playground.”

12. Schedule Regular Routines

Consistent routines help children feel secure and reduce behavioral issues. Keep meal, play, and bedtime routines predictable.

Discipline is about teaching, not punishing. Be patient, and remember that every child is different; what works for one may not work for another. Over time, with consistency, they will learn self-control and appropriate behavior. Discipline has many benefits in various aspects of life, both personally and professionally. Here are some of the main benefits of discipline:

1. Increases Productivity

Discipline helps a person to stay focused and complete tasks more efficiently. With regular work habits, a person can achieve more in less time.

2. Helps Achieve Goals

Disciplined people are more consistent in their efforts, making it easier to achieve both short-term and long-term goals.

3. Builds Strong Character

Discipline teaches perseverance, responsibility, and commitment, which are essential for building a strong and reliable character.

4. Reduces Stress and Anxiety

With discipline, a person can manage time well and avoid piling up work, thereby reducing stress and mental pressure.

5. Improves Physical and Mental Health

Discipline in diet, exercise, and rest can improve physical health, while discipline in managing emotions and thoughts can improve mental health.

 6. Strengthening Social Relationships

Disciplined people tend to be more punctual, responsible, and trustworthy, making it easier to establish good relationships with others.

7. Improving Finances

Discipline in managing finances helps a person to save, avoid unnecessary debt, and achieve financial stability.

8. Helps in Self-Development

With discipline, a person can more easily develop skills, increase knowledge, and continue to learn to be better.

In conclusion, discipline is the key to success in various aspects of life. The more a person applies discipline in everyday life, the greater the chance of achieving success and happiness.

Discipline vs punishment examples

   Hi, today I would like to share about the interesting topic, namely "Discipline vs punishment examples", the main reason why I choose that topic because not everyone knows about the difference between discipline and punishment, some of them judge that discipline is like punishment, but literally it is wrong, discipline is very different with punishment, let me explain it clearly, discipline is the rule that makes you commit with it and ensure you are on the right path in every day's moment, whereas, punishment is the rule that makes you injured, either mentally, physically or emotionally, in addition, you will not get benefits at all because punishment will make you afraid when you want to repeat the moment, here are the main difference between discipline and punishment lies in their intent and approach:

- Discipline is a proactive and educational process aimed at teaching people self-control, responsibility, and proper behavior. It focuses on guiding and instructing, helping people understand the consequences of their actions and learn from them. The goal is long-term behavioral development.

- Punishment, on the other hand, is a reactive measure aimed at correcting undesirable behavior through consequences. It often involves imposing something unpleasant (e.g., time-outs, taking away privileges) with the focus on immediate compliance rather than teaching or understanding.

In essence, discipline seeks to foster learning and growth, while punishment focuses more on deterrence and control, Examples of discipline in real life involve consistent guidance and actions that help children learn positive behavior. Here are a few examples:

1. Setting Clear Expectations: A parent explains to a child that homework must be done before playing video games, providing clear rules and reasons behind them.

2. Natural Consequences: If a child refuses to wear a coat in cold weather, instead of arguing, the parent lets them experience being cold as a natural consequence. This teaches the child to dress appropriately next time.

3. Positive Reinforcement: Praising a child when they complete chores on time or show good behavior, reinforcing the idea that positive actions lead to rewards or recognition.

4. Time Management Tools: Helping a child create a schedule to balance study, play, and rest. This teaches responsibility and the importance of time management.

5. Problem-Solving Discussions: When a conflict arises, a parent sits down with the child to discuss the situation, helping them understand what went wrong and how to handle it better in the future.

6. Modeling Behavior: Parents demonstrate polite behavior, patience, and respect, which children naturally imitate, teaching them how to act in similar situations.

Each of these examples focuses on teaching, guiding, and reinforcing positive behavior rather than simply punishing mistakes, Examples of punishment in real life involve actions taken to correct undesirable behavior by imposing negative consequences. Here are a few common examples:

1. Time-Out: A child is sent to sit alone in a designated spot for a few minutes after hitting their sibling, with the intention of isolating them from play and making them think about their behavior.

2. Taking Away Privileges: A teenager loses phone or video game privileges for a week after failing to follow household rules, such as coming home late.

3. Physical Punishment: Spanking a child after they misbehave, such as throwing a tantrum in a store, to deter future similar behavior.

4. Grounding: A child is restricted from going out with friends for a period of time because they failed to complete their chores or lied about something.

5. Scolding: Raising your voice or harshly reprimanding a child after they do something wrong, like breaking a rule or behaving disrespectfully.

In these examples, the primary goal is to enforce consequences that are unpleasant, with the hope of discouraging the negative behavior from happening again. However, unlike discipline, punishment doesn't always involve teaching the child why the behavior was wrong or guiding them toward better choices.