To what extent do humans recognize their own limitations?

   Hi, today I would like to share about the interesting topic, namely "To what extent do humans recognize their own limitations?", the main reason why I choose that topic because not everyone can recognize their limitations,  So they try to break through those limits until they are in a phase of destruction, for your information that understanding one’s own limitations and the concept of ‘coming to terms with oneself’ are two key pillars of character development and mental health. The two are closely intertwined in determining how a person responds to life’s challenges.

Here is an in-depth analysis of these two aspects:

1. To What Extent Can Humans Know Their Limits?

Knowing one’s limits is not an end point, but a dynamic process. People typically recognise their limits through three main filters:

 * The Failure Filter (Limits of Ability): We often only realise our limits when we hit them. Failure provides honest data on where our physical, cognitive, or emotional capacities currently end.

 * The Introspection Filter (Limits of Awareness): This involves awareness of one’s values, energy levels, and mental capacity. Someone with high self-awareness knows when to say “no” before experiencing extreme exhaustion (burnout).

 * The Uncertainty Filter (Limits of Potential): Uniquely, human limits are elastic. What is your limit today may not be your limit next year. People often do not know their maximum limit until they are pushed by an emergency situation or consistent training.

Philosophically, human limits lie in the acceptance of things that cannot be controlled. Knowing one’s limits means understanding the difference between what can be changed (effort, attitude) and what must be accepted (fate, the actions of others).

2. What Does “Not Yet Done with Oneself” Mean?

The term “not yet done with oneself” usually refers to a state where a person is still trapped in internal conflict, past wounds, or an unprocessed ego, If someone can't escape from the pain, then the wound will transform into a bad character and hurt the feelings of those closest to him, the meaning of the statement that they “cannot move on to more difficult life tests” is as follows:

 * A Fragile Foundation: Life will continue to present tests of increasing scale (family responsibilities, career, leadership). If a person is still grappling with acute self-doubt, a craving for validation, or unresolved trauma, this internal burden will become an “additional weight”. When external challenges arise, they will collapse not because the challenge is too heavy, but because their internal foundation is unstable.

 * Projection of Conflict: People who have not resolved their inner issues tend to project internal problems onto the outside world. For example, if someone has not resolved their feelings of envy, they will view challenges at work not as learning opportunities, but as threats from others. This turns what should be a simple challenge into a highly complex one.

 * Decision-Making Capacity: Difficult life tests require clarity of thought. If the mind is still filled with the ‘noise’ of the past or unresolved self-doubt, a person will find it difficult to make objective and wise decisions.

Conclusion

"Coming to terms with oneself" does not mean becoming perfect or flawless. It means you have recognised, accepted, and made peace with all the dark and light sides within yourself.

When you have come to terms with yourself, you no longer fight against your own shadows whilst battling on the battlefield of life. Your energy remains intact to face the trials ahead, rather than being drained by internal conflicts. 

Why do uncomfortable feelings arise even though we don't do anything

 

 

    Hi, today I would like to share about the interesting topic, namely "Why do uncomfortable feelings arise even though we don't do anything", the main reason why I choose that topic because many people don't know how to detect the uneasy feeling when they do nothing useful, That uneasy feeling that arises for no apparent reason—often referred to as free-floating anxiety or simply a sense of unease—can indeed be incredibly draining. As someone working in the field of psychotherapy, you will no doubt understand that sometimes our minds register things that our conscious mind does not immediately pick up on, From what I have observed, the feeling of discomfort arises because our subconscious knows that we are not yet fully ready to accept new boundaries that are not yet in sync with our natural signals.

Here are some practical steps to help you identify and manage these feelings:

1. The ‘Grounding’ Technique (Connecting Yourself to the Present Moment)

When these unpleasant feelings arise, our minds are often stuck in the past or worrying about the future. Bring yourself back to the present moment using the 5-4-3-2-1 method:

 * Name 5 things you can see.

 * 4 sounds you can hear.

 * 3 textures or objects you can touch.

 * 2 smells you can smell.

 * 1 taste you can taste.

   This helps your nervous system shift out of ‘alert’ mode and return to a state of calm.

2. Uncensored Journaling

Write down whatever comes to mind, no matter how chaotic it may be. Don’t try to find logic or causes just yet.

 * Use phrases like: “Right now I feel…”, “Inside my body, this discomfort feels like… (e.g. tightness in the chest, a weight on my shoulders)”.

 * Sometimes, by putting your thoughts down on paper, hidden patterns will reveal themselves.

3. Body Scan

Emotions often manifest physically before we become cognitively aware of them.

 * Sit quietly and pay attention to your body from the tips of your toes to the top of your head.

 * Is there tension in your jaw, raised shoulders, or held-back breath?

 * Focus your breath on those tense areas. Often, that ‘unpleasant’ feeling is simply the body’s response to accumulated fatigue or stress.

4. Check Your Basic Needs (HALT)

Ask yourself if you are in a state of:

 * Hungry

 * Angry

 * Lonely

 * Tired

   As someone with an engineering background and busy with various projects, we sometimes overlook basic biological needs that can trigger drastic mood swings.

5. Accept, Don’t Fight

Often, these feelings intensify precisely because we worry about the worry itself (“Why do I feel this way? I must know the cause!”).

 * Try telling yourself: “Right now I’m feeling uncomfortable, and that’s okay. I don’t have to know the cause right away. I’ll let it be for a moment without judging it.”

   If these feelings persist for a long time or begin to interfere with your daily productivity, consider whether there are burdens of responsibility or expectations you are carrying in relation to the major goals you have set. Sometimes, our subconscious senses the pressure before our conscious mind has had a chance to process it.

Hopefuly this article can give you an insight how to improve your career in life.

People are more afraid of losing than not getting something

  Hi, today I would like to share about the interesting topic, namely "People are more afraid of losing than not getting something.", the main reason why I choose that topic because many people get that condition where it can make their happiness level is down, The phenomenon which happens is one of the most fundamental concepts in behavioural psychology and behavioural economics, known as Loss Aversion.

In short, humans are inherently more sensitive to potential losses than to potential gains, even when the values are equivalent. 

Here is an in-depth explanation of this from a psychological perspective:

1. Key Concept: Loss Aversion

This concept was popularised by psychologists Daniel Kahneman and Amos Tversky through Prospect Theory. Their findings show that, psychologically, the pain of losing something is felt twice as intensely as the pleasure derived from gaining something of equal value.

A simple example: Losing Rp100,000 will have a far more significant negative emotional impact on a person than the happiness felt if they suddenly found or received Rp100,000.

2. Why Does This Happen? (Evolutionary Basis)

Evolutionary psychology offers a compelling explanation for why this tendency is ingrained in humans:

 * Survival Strategy (Survival Instinct): For our ancestors, the loss of resources (such as food, shelter, or status within a group) could mean a direct threat to life. On the other hand, failing to gain something new usually does not threaten survival in the same way. Consequently, the human brain evolved to prioritise ‘avoiding threats/losses’ for the sake of survival.

 * Security vs. Growth: The human brain is biologically programmed to maintain security (homeostasis). Preserving what one already possesses is a safer course of action than taking risks to pursue something new.

3. Additional Psychological Aspects

In addition to evolutionary factors, there are several psychological mechanisms that reinforce this tendency:

 * The Endowment Effect: People tend to place a higher value on goods or status they already possess simply because they own them. Once something becomes part of ‘my possessions’, we feel a sense of loss if we have to let it go.

 * Reference Point: In Prospect Theory, our evaluation of outcomes (gains or losses) is not based on absolute value, but on the change from the current reference point. What we possess becomes that reference point; anything moving away from it is perceived as a decline in quality of life.

 * Uncertainty and Control: Acquiring something often involves effort and uncertainty, whereas retaining what we already have feels more within our control. Losing something is often seen as a ‘failure’ to maintain that control, triggering a greater stress or anxiety response.

4. Impact on Life

This understanding explains much of our behaviour:

 * In Business/Finance: Why investors often hold onto loss-making shares for too long (fearing to realise the loss) rather than selling them, even though selling might be the rational decision.

 * In Relationships: Why people find it hard to let go of unhealthy relationships; there is a fear of losing the comfort they already have, even though there is potential for happiness outside that relationship.

 * In Career Decisions: People are more likely to stay in unsatisfying jobs out of fear of losing financial stability (their current salary), rather than taking a risk on new opportunities that might be better.

Conclusion

The fear of loss is not merely a ‘lack of gratitude’ or pessimism, but a very powerful mental adaptation mechanism. Although this mechanism once helped our ancestors survive, in the complex modern world, this bias often hinders us from taking bold steps or making the changes necessary for growth, 

this is a natural cognitive bias can help us evaluate decisions more objectively—by asking: “Am I holding on to this because its value is genuinely high, or simply because I’m afraid of losing it?”

Why do some people reject the truth even though their brain doesn't deny it

   Hi, today I would like to share about the interesting topic, namely "Why do some people reject the truth even though their brain doesn't deny it?, the main reason why I choose that topic because many people's behavior tends to reject the truth rather than accept it, The phenomenon in which a person rejects the truth even when it is logically undeniable is a deeply complex topic in psychology. It is not about a lack of intelligence, but rather about how our brains protect our identity, comfort, and emotional stability.

Here are the main psychological explanations for why this happens:

1. Cognitive Dissonance

Introduced by Leon Festinger, this concept explains the mental discomfort a person experiences when they hold two conflicting beliefs, or when their behavior does not align with their values.

 * Reaction: When new facts (the truth) challenge deeply ingrained old beliefs, the brain experiences psychological “pain.” To alleviate this pain, a person tends to reject or distort the facts rather than having to change their worldview.

2. Identity Protective Cognition

For many people, beliefs are not merely data, but part of their identity. Believing in something (regarding politics, religion, or oneself) helps them feel like they belong to a specific social group.

 * Reaction: If the truth constitutes a "betrayal" of their group or identity, the brain processes the facts as a physical threat. Rejecting the truth becomes a self-defense mechanism to keep them "safe" within their social sphere.

3. Confirmation Bias

This is the natural human tendency to seek out, interpret, and remember information that only supports what they already believe.

 * Reaction: Facts that contradict initial assumptions are often ignored, dismissed as “bias from the opposing side,” or deemed invalid even when the evidence is strong.

4. Backfire Effect

This is a phenomenon where exposure to evidence that contradicts a person’s beliefs actually causes them to cling even more firmly to those beliefs.

 * Reaction: When someone feels intellectually attacked or forced to admit a mistake, their ego hardens. They build a stronger mental fortress to protect the views they already hold.

5. Psychological Safety

In psychotherapy practice, it is often found that harsh truths can trigger extreme anxiety. For some people, a comforting lie is far more “functional” than a truth that shatters the structure of their lives.

 * Reaction: They choose to live in controlled ignorance rather than face the uncertainty or shame that arises if they must admit they’ve been wrong all along.

Conclusion

Psychologically, the truth often loses out to emotional comfort. Logic operates in the prefrontal cortex (the brain’s rational area), while resistance to the truth often originates from the limbic system (the center of emotions and self-defense).

When emotions and identity feel threatened, the limbic system often “hijacks” our logical abilities. That is why, in communication, presenting data alone is not enough; a person must feel emotionally safe to be able to accept a reality that contradicts what they previously believed.

How to reduce boredom in a marriage relationship

    Hi, today I would like to share about the interesting topic, namely "How to reduce boredom in a marriage relationship", the main reason why I choose that topic because many couples try to separate from their commitment when they feel bored in their relationship status, Boredom within a marriage is a very human experience and it oftens serving as a transitional phase toward a deeper level of connection, provided it is handled correctly. Given your background as a psychotherapist, you certainly understand that this phase can be viewed as an opportunity for re-evaluation and reconnection.

 

Here are several approaches you can apply to refresh the dynamics of your relationship:

 

1. Initiating "Novelty" (New Experiences)

The human brain responds to new stimulation by releasing dopamine, which can help reignite feelings of enthusiasm.

 

- Shared Hobbies: Try activities that are completely new to both of you (such as taking a cooking class, learning a new sport, or engaging in creative projects). This ensures neither partner feels more dominant or like an "expert," placing you on equal footing as learners.

- Changing Micro-Routines: Sometimes, boredom stems from routines that are too rigid. Try altering small things, such as taking a different route home, changing where you eat lunch, or simply rearranging furniture to create a fresh atmosphere.

 

2. Deepening Communication

Boredom often arises because we feel we already "know everything" about our partner.

 

- Reflective Questions: Replace routine questions like "How was your day?" with more exploratory ones, such as "What has made you feel most alive this week?" or "Are there any dreams we used to talk about that have been put on hold?"

- Listening Sessions Without Solutions: Given your technical and analytical background, it is easy to fall into the trap of immediately offering solutions. Try occasionally being a passive listener who provides only emotional validation, creating a safe space for your partner.

 

3. Resetting Emotional "Check-ins"

 

- Intimacy Rituals: Schedule dedicated time, perhaps 15–20 minutes every evening without gadgets, to share your feelings or small achievements, rather than discussing household chores or logistics.

- Relationship Evaluation: Similar to the S.M.A.R.T. goal framework you are familiar with, conduct a monthly mini-audit of your relationship. Ask your partner: "What is one thing I could do this month to make you feel more supported?"

 

4. Creating Space (Individuality)

Paradoxically, to feel close again, you sometimes need to create a little distance.

 

- Personal Freedom: Encourage your partner to pursue their own interests or spend time with their own social circle. When each individual grows personally, they bring back new energy and perspectives when they reunite at home.

 

5. Appreciating "The Mundane"

In psychology, gratitude has been proven to shift one's perception of routine.

 

- Acknowledging Kindness: Make a conscious effort to seek out and express appreciation for the small things your partner does that are often taken for granted (such as making coffee or tidying up). Shifting your focus from what is missing to what is present often reduces feelings of monotony.

 

Boredom does not mean your relationship is unhealthy; more often than not, it is simply a sign that your relationship has settled into a comfort zone that has become too stable.