How to make peace when expectations clash with reality

   Hi, today I want to share an interesting topic, namely "How to make peace when expectations clash with reality",  the main reason I chose this topic is because many things make people angry when reality does not match reality, From several sources, they say that human expectations try to make humans lose focus and stamina, so that humans have to choose between following reality or following expectations, let's discuss in more depth how to make peace with reality when human expectations are trying to oppose reality, so I hope you can be a better prepared and stronger to face life's challenges.

Understanding and Accepting Reality

Mindfulness:

- Definition: Mindfulness is the practice of practicing full awareness of the present moment, without judgment. It involves focusing on physical sensations, emotions, and thoughts as they arise, without trying to change or suppress them.

- Application: Start with a short meditation each day. Sit quietly, focus on your breathing, and observe the thoughts that arise without engaging in them. When you feel distracted by thoughts or emotions, gently bring your attention back to your breath.

- Benefits: Mindfulness helps you accept reality as it is, reduces stress, and increases your ability to respond more wisely to situations.

Radical Acceptance:

- Definition: Radical acceptance is a concept introduced by Marsha Linehan, which emphasizes the importance of fully accepting reality, even when it is painful or does not align with our expectations.

- Application: When facing a difficult situation, ask yourself: "Can I change this situation?"  If the answer is no, then focus on accepting what is. This doesn't mean you like or agree with the situation, but you choose not to waste energy fighting it.

- Benefits: Radical acceptance helps reduce emotional distress, frees up energy to focus on solutions, and increases inner peace.

Managing Emotions Wisely

- Emotion Regulation:

- Identify Emotions: Recognize and name the emotion you're feeling. Is it anger, sadness, disappointment, or fear?

- Express Emotions: Find healthy ways to express your emotions, such as talking to a friend, journaling, or engaging in creative activities.

- Change Negative Thoughts: Challenge negative thoughts that trigger unpleasant emotions. Are they realistic? Is there another way to view the situation?

- Practice Self-Compassion: Be kind and understanding to yourself, especially when facing failure or difficulties. Remember that everyone makes mistakes.

Relaxation Techniques:

- Deep Breathing: Practice deep breathing to calm the nervous system. Inhale deeply through your nose, hold for a few seconds, and then exhale slowly through your mouth.

 - Progressive Muscle Relaxation: Gradually relax your body's muscles, starting from your toes and working your way up to your head.

- Visualization: Imagine a calm and peaceful place, such as a beach or forest. Engage all your senses to make the visualization as vivid as possible.

Changing Perspective and Focus

- Reframing:

- Definition: Reframing is a technique for changing the way you view a situation to change your emotional response to it.

- Application: When facing a difficult situation, try to find the positive side or the lessons learned. For example, if you lose your job, you might see it as an opportunity to explore a new career or develop different skills.

- Benefits: Reframing helps you see the situation from a more optimistic perspective, reduces stress, and improves your ability to find solutions.

- Focus on What You Can Control:

- Identify: Separate the things you can control from the things you can't.

- Prioritize: Focus your energy on the things you can influence, such as your actions, your attitude, and your response to the situation. 

- Let Go: Let go of things that are beyond your control. Don't waste time and energy worrying about or trying to change things you can't.

Building Resilience

- Social Support Network:

- Strong Relationships: Build and maintain strong relationships with friends, family, and your community.

- Emotional Support: Don't hesitate to ask for help and support from those closest to you when you need it.

- Sharing Experiences: Sharing experiences with others who have experienced similar situations can provide relief and reduce feelings of loneliness.

Self-Care:

- Physical Health: Take care of your physical health by eating nutritious foods, exercising regularly, and getting enough sleep.

- Mental Health: Engage in activities you enjoy and that make you feel relaxed and happy.

- Boundaries: Set clear boundaries in your relationships and work to protect your time and energy.

By integrating all of these aspects into your life, you will be better prepared and able to reconcile with reality and live a more calm, happy, and meaningful life.

What is the goal of true education

 

    Hi, good readers, howdy? welcome back with me, Fian, hopefully you always have the abundance of happiness, health and prosperity, today I would like to share about the topic “What is the goal of true education”, the main reason why I choose that topic because many people prefer to fight against other people's opinion rather than being a good observer and peacemaker, we must realize everybody is unique, they have different mindset, different story, different expertise, different perspective, different habit and different behavior, if we know we are different, why would not everyone does a peace offering to eliminate argument? remember this; the real education is not like what you learn from the educational background or formal education, the true education is based on how you maximize what you can receive from this life as the last mission on earth, if you behave to what other people think without any argument, you will lose your self-identity because you don't show about your perspective to them, although other people have different ideology with yours, it doesn't mean you need to fight theirs by making an argument, all you need is be listener, be reviewer and make it as additional note, if we want to get true education, we must find the problem in human's lives first, and then we find human's spending habit, do you know why? because true character of human being can be detected through spending habit and problem they have, if you find people like what I mentioned, would you make a peace offering or you just leave him behind? if I were in your position, I shared my life experience.

    Remember this; you don’t need to make people to be good for you, all you need to do is finding a good people who can accept you wholeheartedly without any exception, if you always spend your time to make people liking you, you just start a quarrelsome without knowing whether what you are doing is good or not for them, every human has different comfort ego zone, we shouldn’t quarantine our time with people who aren’t interested about our personality, now it's time for you to make self-reflection, if you want to become a better person in every single day, you have to ensure your social circle can manifest what you want to become in the future, if your social circle rejects your ideology, that means, you will become a quarrelsome cause for them, it is not good for your life story if you keep associating with people who can’t accept your ideology, remember this; don’t try to get people schooling when they don’t want to receive it, your duty is just sharing your ideology to them and let them contemplate about it, don't think your school is very important for everyone, if they aren’t interested with your offering, they will reject it because they think they don’t deserve to accept your offering, the goal of true education is to ensure you know who created you and you become the messenger of God who spreads the kindness, in order to get true education, you need to learn about reality and become a daily good observer, if you are eager to know who is the best person who can explain about reality, you may refer to the prophet Muhammad (Peace Be Upon Him) and learn his ideology, the reason why I recommend you to learn about him because he represents all human's virtues in this world, I think my explanation is enough, hopefully this article can give you an idea how to improve your life, good luck.   

Take charge of your life

 

     Hi, good readers, howdy? welcome back with me, Fian, hopefully you always have the abundance of happiness, health and prosperity, today I would like to share about the topic “take charge of your life”, the meaning of that statement is we don’t need to bluff to other people about what we intend to do in our life journey, the reason why we don’t need to show our plan to other people because every human has own responsibility, everybody is busy, so we shouldn't take so much attention to them, let them know about what we can do for them, so people will find us, if we plan better world for other people, they will give us new opportunity how to end our trouble, if we have no plan for other people's hope, we will never take opportunity to take the next level of the higher demand, here is what people don’t get if they don’t take charge of their life; they will never meet the moment of happiness because they intend to live into the rat race, remember this; life is not demanding people how to make freedom of action, but life is demanding people how to make new experience, people who don't earn new experience, they can't get the freedom of action, so if you want to take charge of your life, you have to end up your freedom of action and help other people to end up their trouble, here is the biggest risk when people just spend their time to live in their own luck condition; they will imprison themselves into the desperate zone and they will never find their inner faculties because their mindset has shut down the opportunity to their eyes.

   The reason why people always get trouble because they lack of interest how to build self-confidence and they are more committed to become entertained, in my opinion; if people are looking for fun, they will never end up their quota of trouble, maybe you may hear this statement; person who has fueled his own life with something he pursued, what he pursued is going to be returned to himself, means, if he can’t see any value to his resources, he builds the strongest wall in his mind to get himself swindled by what he does, please don’t spend your life like you were living in the past 5 years because it will make you feel crushed, there is only thing you can do for taking charge of your life is taking initial step, upgrading your skill set, embracing new failure and renewing your enthusiasm, remember; every new life is begun with renewed enthusiasm, now your main job is how to allocate your sense of enthusiasm to find your vocation, it may take at least 10 years before the right vocation finds you, if you are willing to take charge by taking vocation, your future will borrow something you need to do by now, if there is no vocation, there is no change at your personality, if there is no change at your personality, there is no future, if there is no future, there is no hope, that's consequence, maybe you will ask me “why do I need to take charge of my life?” here is the answer; if you take charge of your life, the destiny is leading you to the right direction, if you don't take charge of your life, the destiny is leading you to the wrong direction and make you feel guilty when you make new decision , I think my explanation is enough hopefully this article can give you an idea how to improve your life, good luck.