You deserve to be in environments that bring out the softness in you, not the survival in you

  Hi, today I would like to share about the interesting topic, namely "You deserve to be in environments that bring out the softness in you, not the survival in you", the main reason why I choose that topic because many people struggle to fight with the environment, instead of building self worth to bring softness in ourselves,  It should be noted that we live in this world to create characters that will be used by reality, if we are not able to create quality personality values, then reality will place us in an environment that weakens our personality, We need to remember that the quality of our personality determines whether reality will use us for something that is more expensive than our self-esteem or cheaper than our self-esteem.

  There are 5 things we need to pay attention to value about our qualifications 

  

1. Core Meaning 

This advice conveys that everyone deserves to be in an environment that makes them feel calm, gentle, and become the best version of themselves naturally, not an environment that constantly forces them into a state of survival, stress, or constant alertness.

  

2. Psychological Perspective 

The environment shapes behavior.

If someone lives in a place full of conflict, pressure, reproach, or threats, the brain will always be active in survival mode: anxious, defensive, easily angered, and finding it difficult to trust others.

 

The softness mode (rest/connection mode) is when someone feels safe, accepted, and valued.

This brings out the sides of:

 

- affection

- patience

- creativity

- empathy

- ability to connect with others

  

3. Implicit Message

 

Every reality invites you to: 

a. Evaluate your environment 

Does the place you are in right now: 

- often make you mentally exhausted?

- make you feel like you have to be constantly alert?

- make you feel marginalized or unappreciated?

 

b. Prioritize mental health 

You deserve to be in an environment that: 

- does not require you to be tough

- does not force you to endure fear or pressure

- provides space to grow peacefully

 

c. Recognize your limits

This also implies the importance of saying: 

"I need a healthy environment."

"I don't want to survive in a place that hurts me."

  

4. Life Wisdom

 

Often, people stay in bad environments because: 

- they are afraid of being abandoned

- they are afraid of looking weak

- they are used to the pain

- they feel they have no choice

 

Every reality reminds us:

 

✅Softness is not weakness — it's a sign that you feel safe and safety is a right of every human being.  

 

5. Practical Application

 

You can start by: 

- choosing friends who make you feel calm, not tense

- working in a place that values you, not exploits you

- living with people who understand you, not demand from you

- reducing interaction with toxic people

- creating a peaceful personal space

Giving too much free time to others can lower self-esteem.

  Hi, today I would like to share about the interesting topic, namely "Giving too much free time to others can lower self-esteem", the main reason why I choose that topic because not everyone can handle their time, Besides that, many people are willing to lose their time for something that is not related to their career, when they get instant pleasure, they immediately give up a lot of free time for it, there is advice “too much availability kills your value.”, which means

being too readily available (always there at any time) actually damages your worth, Why does this happen? Because time has two functions: to provide opportunities or to create regret. If we don't choose wisely, we will become victims of our own feelings.

  

🧠 Here is the core Meaning

 

This advice talks about boundaries and self-worth.

When someone is too often available, never refuses, or is always ready whenever called, then:

 

- Their presence is considered ordinary

- Others stop valuing their effort and time

- Their self-value decreases because they are not seen as “precious” or “limited”

 

Simply put:

What is too easily obtained is often considered worthless.

  

🔍 Deeper Analysis

 

1. Social Interaction Psychology

 

Humans tend to value: 

- What is rare

- What requires effort

- What is not always available

 

If you are always there 24/7 for others, they may unconsciously:

 

- Consider you a backup option

- Ignore your boundaries

- Take you for granted as something “given”

  

2. Quality vs. Quantity

 

Often, being present as needed, but with good quality, is far more appreciated than constant presence without limits.

  

3. Risks of Being “Too Available”

 

- Not appreciated → your effort is seen as normal

- Exploited → people tend to ask for more because they know you won’t refuse

- Burnout → you get tired from giving too much

- Loss of identity → you live according to others’ needs, not your own

 

⚖️ Balanced Meaning

 

This advice does not mean you should become cold or stingy with your time.

The key points:

👉 Value yourself by setting boundaries.

👉 Don’t always say “yes.”

👉 Let your availability have quality and meaning.

 

In this way, others will appreciate your time and yourself more.

  

📌 In relation to the workplace

 

Someone who: 

- Always accepts all tasks

- Is always ready at any time

- Never refuses

 

Will often: 

- Be overloaded

- Be considered a “jack of all trades,” not a professional

- Not get promoted or raise because they are seen as “permanent support”

Hopefully this article can give you an insight how to empower your career, good luck.

Why cognitive bias can occur in this life

  Hi, today I would like to share about the interesting topic, namely "Why cognitive bias can occur in this life", the main reason why I choose that topic because not everyone realizes about cognitive bias, many people can't understand what causes cognitive bias and where it comes, in simple terms, a Cognitive Bias is a systematic error in thinking that affects the decisions and judgments we make. Imagine your brain as a super-advanced computer that has to process millions of pieces of information every second. To avoid "overheating" or becoming too slow, the brain often uses mental shortcuts (called heuristics). These shortcuts usually help us make quick decisions, but sometimes they cause our logic to deviate or become non-objective. That's what we call cognitive bias.

 

Here's a deeper explanation of how it works and the most common types.

 

Why Do Cognitive Biases Occur? 

These biases don't mean someone is "stupid," but rather it's due to the natural way the human brain works. There are several main causes:

 

- Brain Efficiency: The brain tries to save energy by making quick assumptions based on past experiences.

- Emotions & Motivation: Our desires or fears often influence how we see facts.

- Social Pressure: The desire to be accepted by a group can change how we assess situations.

- Memory Limitations: Our brains often alter or fill in gaps in memory with details that don't actually exist.

 

The bottom line: Cognitive bias is a "filter" or colored lens that we unconsciously wear when looking at the world, so we don't see reality as it is, but rather as our brains interpret it.

 

Most Common Types of Cognitive Biases

 There are hundreds of types of biases, but here are some of the most common we experience in everyday life:

 

1. Confirmation Bias 

The tendency to seek out, interpret, and remember information that supports our own beliefs, while ignoring contradictory evidence.

 

- Example: You believe Geminis are annoying. When you meet one annoying Gemini, you say, "See, I'm right!" but you ignore ten other kind-hearted Gemini friends.

 

2. Sunk Cost Fallacy 

The tendency to continue doing something just because we have already invested time, money, or energy in it, even though it is clearly detrimental.

 

- Example: Continuing to watch a very boring movie in the cinema just because "it's a waste to have bought an expensive ticket," even though you could go out and do something more enjoyable.

 

3. Dunning-Kruger Effect 

The phenomenon where people with low abilities tend to overestimate their abilities, while experts often doubt their own abilities.

 

- Example: Someone who has just read one article about health then feels smarter than a doctor who has been in school for years.

 

4. Anchoring Bias 

The tendency to rely too heavily on the first piece of information we receive (the anchor) when making decisions.

 

- Example: When bargaining for an item, if the seller mentions an initial price of Rp500,000 (the anchor), then an offer of Rp300,000 will feel "cheap," even though the original value of the item might only be Rp100,000.

 

5. Halo Effect 

The tendency to judge a person's character as a whole based on only one prominent positive trait.

 

- Example: We often assume that people who are physically attractive automatically also have good, intelligent, or honest qualities.

 

6. Self-Serving Bias

The tendency to attribute success to one's own abilities, but to blame external factors when experiencing failure.

 

- Example: "I passed the exam because I'm smart," vs "I didn't pass the exam because the lecturer was biased."

 

Why is Understanding This Important?

 

Recognizing the existence of cognitive biases is crucial for: 

- Making Better Decisions: Avoiding financial losses or fatal errors in work.

- Improving the quality of interpersonal relationships: Understanding that our point of view is not always 100% correct makes us more empathetic to new information that may be more accurate than our point of view.

- Critical Thinking: Training ourselves to always check the facts before concluding something."