What factors make people easily deceived

  Hi, today I would like to share about the interesting topic, namely "What factors make people easily deceived?", the main reason why I choose that topic because many people are easily got deceived once they want to get pleasure or benefits at the first time,

The phenomenon of why people are easily deceived is a major topic in social and cognitive psychology. Psychologically, deception is not just about the "foolishness" of the victim, but rather the exploitation of gaps in how the human brain works. Here are some psychological reasons why humans are highly vulnerable to deception:

 

1. "Fast" vs "Slow" Thinking Systems

 

Psychologist Daniel Kahneman explains that our brain has two thinking systems:

 

- System 1 (Fast Thinking): Automatic, emotional, and uses shortcuts (heuristics).

- System 2 (Slow Thinking): Logical, analytical, and requires a lot of energy.

 

Scammers typically create situations (such as emergencies or limited offers) that force us to use System 1. When we feel rushed or overly excited, the logical System 2 often "shuts down" or fails to process information properly.

 

2. Cognitive Biases (Distortions in Thinking Patterns)

 

There are several biases that cause us to "turn a blind eye" to irregularities:

 

- Optimism Bias: The belief that "bad things won’t happen to me." This makes people feel safe when clicking suspicious links or investing in fraudulent schemes.

- Confirmation Bias: We tend to only seek out information that supports what we want to believe. If someone is desperate to get rich, they will only look at success testimonials and ignore signs of deception.

- The Halo Effect: If someone appears authoritative, attractive, or uses religious/wealth attributes, we automatically assume they are honest without verifying the facts.

 

3. Principles of Persuasion (Robert Cialdini)

 

Psychologist Robert Cialdini identified several social triggers that are often misused by scammers:

 

- Authority: Humans tend to obey figures who appear to be experts or in positions of power (e.g., scammers claiming to be from the police or a bank).

- Scarcity: "Only 5 minutes left!" or "Only for the first 10 people!" This pressure creates a fear of missing out (FOMO).

- Social Proof: Seeing other people (or fake accounts) participating makes us feel the action is safe and correct.

 

4. Emotional Manipulation (Emotional Arousal)

 

When emotions run high—whether fear (threat of account blocking) or greed (billion-dollar prizes)—our cognitive ability drops drastically. Scammers use social engineering techniques to put victims in a heightened emotional state so they cannot think clearly.

 

5. Basic Trust (Truth Default Theory)

 

Psychologist Timothy Levine proposes the theory that humans naturally have a "factory setting" to trust others. If we did not have this basic trust, society could not function as we would be constantly suspicious of one another. Scammers exploit this well-intentioned evolutionary tendency.

 

Simple Ways to Avoid Being Deceived:

 

- Use the "10-Second Pause": When receiving an offer or threat, pause briefly to activate your System 2.

- Verify Independently: Do not use contact information provided by the person reaching out to you; find official contact details on your own.

- Be Wary of High Emotions: If you suddenly feel extremely scared or overjoyed, it is a warning sign that your logic is being compromised.

How to deal with an inner child which was hurt in the past

   Hi, today I would like to share about the interesting topic, namely "How to deal with an inner child which was hurt in the past", the main reason why I choose that topic because not everyone can deal the hurt inner child, "In psychology, the inner child is viewed as a part of a person's personality that retains characteristics, memories, and emotions from childhood—both positive and negative. When this inner child is wounded by trauma, neglect, or unhealthy parenting, it continues to "live" within the adult and influences the way we act today.

 

Below are psychological perspectives and ways to address these wounds:

 

Psychological Perspectives on the Wounded Inner Child 

Psychology sees these wounds not merely as memories, but as trapped nervous system responses. Some of their impacts on adults include:

 

- Overreaction: Feeling extremely angry or sad over small issues because they trigger old memories.

- Poor Relationship Patterns: For example, fear of abandonment leading to excessive dependence, or conversely, being very closed off.

- Harsh Self-Criticism: Having an inner voice that always blames oneself—often an internalization of criticism from parents or the environment in the past.

- Coping Mechanisms: The emergence of destructive behaviors such as excessive perfectionism, difficulty saying "no," or escaping into unhealthy things.

 

Ways to Address the Wounded Inner Child

 

In psychotherapy, the healing process is usually carried out through the following techniques:

 

1. Reparenting (Being a Parent to Yourself)

This is the most popular method. You learn to give yourself now what you did not receive in the past.

 

- Validation: Telling yourself, "It's okay to feel sad; what happened back then was indeed painful."

- Protection: Learning to set boundaries to avoid being hurt by the same patterns again.

 

2. Dialogue and Letter-Writing

Try writing a letter from your adult self to your childhood self.

 

- Example: Write that you are safe now, and that you will take care of that "little one." Conversely, try writing down what the child feels using your non-dominant hand to access the emotional part of the brain.

 

3. Visualization and Meditation

Imagine meeting your younger self from the past. Hug them, listen to their story, and say the things they wanted to hear back then (such as "You are valuable" or "This is not your fault").

4. Expressive Therapy

Sometimes words are not enough. Using art therapy (drawing) or play therapy can help release repressed emotions without having to explain them logically.

5. Professional Help

If the wound stems from severe trauma (violence or abuse), it is highly recommended to see a psychologist. They may use methods such as:

 

- CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy): Changing negative thought patterns.

- EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing): Helping process traumatic memories so they no longer feel painful.

 

Healing the inner child is a journey, not an instant destination. This process helps you live more peacefully in the present without being constantly driven by the pain of the past."

What causes a couple's relationship to fail, is the cause due to dissimilarity?

  Hi, today I would like to share about the interesting topic, namely "What causes a couple's relationship to fail, is the cause due to dissimilarity? From a psychological perspective, the answer is yes, there is a very high possibility.

 Although the cliché "opposites attract" is often heard, long-term psychological research actually shows that similarity and shared meaning are the main foundations of lasting relationships.

 

Here is a psychological breakdown of why the absence of these two elements often causes relationships to fail:

 

1. The Role of Similarity: The Similarity-Attraction Effect

 

In social psychology, there is a strong principle called the Similarity-Attraction Effect. We are naturally drawn to and feel safe with people who are similar to us. However, psychologists distinguish "similarity" into two levels:

 

- Surface-Level Similarity: Hobbies, music tastes, or favorite foods. Differences here are not fatal. You can like rock music and your partner jazz, and the relationship can still work.

- Deep-Level Similarity: Core life values, spiritual views, money management, parenting styles, and future vision.

 

Why does this cause failure?

If you lack deep-level similarity, constant cognitive conflict will occur. Every major decision—from buying a house to communicating—becomes a battlefield because your "life dictionaries" are different. Without a shared value foundation, compromise becomes extremely tiring and often feels like a sacrifice of self.

 

2. Sternberg's Love Theory: The Loss of "Commitment"

 

Robert Sternberg, a renowned psychologist, formulated the Triangular Theory of Love. According to him, complete love consists of three components:

 

- Intimacy (emotional closeness)

- Passion (physical desire)

- Commitment (the decision to stay together)

 

When you say "there is no reason to be together," in this psychology, it is often translated as the loss of the Commitment component.

 

- Without a strong reason (shared vision), the relationship only survives on Passion (which is temporary by nature) or Intimacy (merely being a confidant).

- When desire fades (a natural process), it is the "reason" or commitment that holds partners together through difficult times. If that reason is absent, there is no "glue" to bind the relationship when storms hit.

 

3. The "Shared Meaning" Theory

 

Relationship psychologist John Gottman emphasizes the importance of creating Shared Meaning. Lasting couples are not just those who love each other, but those who build a "culture" together.

 

If there is no similarity and no shared reason (purpose), then:

 

- You live "parallel lives" (existing under the same roof but separately), not "shared lives."

- There are no shared rituals, shared dreams, or narratives of "us against the world."

- This lack of shared meaning creates an emotional emptiness that often leads to breakup due to loneliness within the relationship.

 

4. Social Exchange Theory

 

This theory views relationships as a "Cost vs. Benefit" calculation:

 

- Costs: Effort to understand a very different partner, conflicts from value differences, energy to tolerate mismatches.

- Benefits: Emotional support, security, happiness.

 

If there is no similarity (high communication costs) and no strong reason (low future benefits), humans will psychologically withdraw. Our brains are wired to seek efficiency; maintaining a relationship that is emotionally costly without a clear purpose is seen by our subconscious as a "foolish investment."

 

Conclusion

 

Psychologically, a relationship can end not because of a third party or a big fight, but because of the silent erosion caused by two things:

 

- Fatigue: Tired of constantly bridging too wide differences in principles.

- Lack of Purpose: Not knowing where the relationship ship is sailing.

 

A healthy relationship requires "enough similarity" to make communication smooth, and "enough reason" to make the struggle worthwhile.