Giving too much free time to others can lower self-esteem.

  Hi, today I would like to share about the interesting topic, namely "Giving too much free time to others can lower self-esteem", the main reason why I choose that topic because not everyone can handle their time, Besides that, many people are willing to lose their time for something that is not related to their career, when they get instant pleasure, they immediately give up a lot of free time for it, there is advice “too much availability kills your value.”, which means

being too readily available (always there at any time) actually damages your worth, Why does this happen? Because time has two functions: to provide opportunities or to create regret. If we don't choose wisely, we will become victims of our own feelings.

  

🧠 Here is the core Meaning

 

This advice talks about boundaries and self-worth.

When someone is too often available, never refuses, or is always ready whenever called, then:

 

- Their presence is considered ordinary

- Others stop valuing their effort and time

- Their self-value decreases because they are not seen as “precious” or “limited”

 

Simply put:

What is too easily obtained is often considered worthless.

  

🔍 Deeper Analysis

 

1. Social Interaction Psychology

 

Humans tend to value: 

- What is rare

- What requires effort

- What is not always available

 

If you are always there 24/7 for others, they may unconsciously:

 

- Consider you a backup option

- Ignore your boundaries

- Take you for granted as something “given”

  

2. Quality vs. Quantity

 

Often, being present as needed, but with good quality, is far more appreciated than constant presence without limits.

  

3. Risks of Being “Too Available”

 

- Not appreciated → your effort is seen as normal

- Exploited → people tend to ask for more because they know you won’t refuse

- Burnout → you get tired from giving too much

- Loss of identity → you live according to others’ needs, not your own

 

⚖️ Balanced Meaning

 

This advice does not mean you should become cold or stingy with your time.

The key points:

👉 Value yourself by setting boundaries.

👉 Don’t always say “yes.”

👉 Let your availability have quality and meaning.

 

In this way, others will appreciate your time and yourself more.

  

📌 In relation to the workplace

 

Someone who: 

- Always accepts all tasks

- Is always ready at any time

- Never refuses

 

Will often: 

- Be overloaded

- Be considered a “jack of all trades,” not a professional

- Not get promoted or raise because they are seen as “permanent support”

Hopefully this article can give you an insight how to empower your career, good luck.

Why cognitive bias can occur in this life

  Hi, today I would like to share about the interesting topic, namely "Why cognitive bias can occur in this life", the main reason why I choose that topic because not everyone realizes about cognitive bias, many people can't understand what causes cognitive bias and where it comes, in simple terms, a Cognitive Bias is a systematic error in thinking that affects the decisions and judgments we make. Imagine your brain as a super-advanced computer that has to process millions of pieces of information every second. To avoid "overheating" or becoming too slow, the brain often uses mental shortcuts (called heuristics). These shortcuts usually help us make quick decisions, but sometimes they cause our logic to deviate or become non-objective. That's what we call cognitive bias.

 

Here's a deeper explanation of how it works and the most common types.

 

Why Do Cognitive Biases Occur? 

These biases don't mean someone is "stupid," but rather it's due to the natural way the human brain works. There are several main causes:

 

- Brain Efficiency: The brain tries to save energy by making quick assumptions based on past experiences.

- Emotions & Motivation: Our desires or fears often influence how we see facts.

- Social Pressure: The desire to be accepted by a group can change how we assess situations.

- Memory Limitations: Our brains often alter or fill in gaps in memory with details that don't actually exist.

 

The bottom line: Cognitive bias is a "filter" or colored lens that we unconsciously wear when looking at the world, so we don't see reality as it is, but rather as our brains interpret it.

 

Most Common Types of Cognitive Biases

 There are hundreds of types of biases, but here are some of the most common we experience in everyday life:

 

1. Confirmation Bias 

The tendency to seek out, interpret, and remember information that supports our own beliefs, while ignoring contradictory evidence.

 

- Example: You believe Geminis are annoying. When you meet one annoying Gemini, you say, "See, I'm right!" but you ignore ten other kind-hearted Gemini friends.

 

2. Sunk Cost Fallacy 

The tendency to continue doing something just because we have already invested time, money, or energy in it, even though it is clearly detrimental.

 

- Example: Continuing to watch a very boring movie in the cinema just because "it's a waste to have bought an expensive ticket," even though you could go out and do something more enjoyable.

 

3. Dunning-Kruger Effect 

The phenomenon where people with low abilities tend to overestimate their abilities, while experts often doubt their own abilities.

 

- Example: Someone who has just read one article about health then feels smarter than a doctor who has been in school for years.

 

4. Anchoring Bias 

The tendency to rely too heavily on the first piece of information we receive (the anchor) when making decisions.

 

- Example: When bargaining for an item, if the seller mentions an initial price of Rp500,000 (the anchor), then an offer of Rp300,000 will feel "cheap," even though the original value of the item might only be Rp100,000.

 

5. Halo Effect 

The tendency to judge a person's character as a whole based on only one prominent positive trait.

 

- Example: We often assume that people who are physically attractive automatically also have good, intelligent, or honest qualities.

 

6. Self-Serving Bias

The tendency to attribute success to one's own abilities, but to blame external factors when experiencing failure.

 

- Example: "I passed the exam because I'm smart," vs "I didn't pass the exam because the lecturer was biased."

 

Why is Understanding This Important?

 

Recognizing the existence of cognitive biases is crucial for: 

- Making Better Decisions: Avoiding financial losses or fatal errors in work.

- Improving the quality of interpersonal relationships: Understanding that our point of view is not always 100% correct makes us more empathetic to new information that may be more accurate than our point of view.

- Critical Thinking: Training ourselves to always check the facts before concluding something."

How to know that the way I am thinking so far is wrong rather than being right

   Hi, today I would like to share about the interesting topic, namely "How to know that the way I am thinking so far is wrong rather than being right", the main reason why I choose that topic because not everyone admits about the way they are thinking about something, This is a very brave question. Realizing that there may be something wrong in the way we think or act is the first step towards wisdom. Most people spend their lives blaming external circumstances, so they never grow.

To find "blind spots" or mistakes that you have not been aware of, you need to conduct a self-investigation in a way that is honest but non-judgmental.

Here is a systematic way to diagnose them:

 

1. Observe "Recurring Patterns" (The Common Denominator)

This is the most telling indicator. If you often experience the same problem repeatedly, even though the people, places, or situations change, then you are the only common denominator in all those occurrences.

 

- Example: If you always feel betrayed by friends (friend A, then friend B, then friend C), it is likely that the problem is not that "all friends are bad," but rather in how you choose friends or your unrealistic expectations.

- Action: Write down the 3 biggest recurring problems in your life. Look for the common thread. Is it a communication problem? An emotional management problem? Or an inability to say "no"?

 

2. Analyze Your Emotional Reactions (The Shadow Work)

Psychologist Carl Jung introduced the concept of "The Shadow." Often, what bothers us most about others is a reflection of what we reject in ourselves.

 

- Law of the Mirror: If you strongly dislike people who are "arrogant," ask yourself: "In what area of my life am I being arrogant or afraid of being seen as inferior?"

- Defensiveness: Notice when you receive criticism. On what topics do you immediately get angry or defend yourself aggressively? That's where the insecurity or fault you are protecting lies.

 

3. Ask for "Brutal Feedback" from Trusted People

We cannot see our own backs without a mirror. The people closest to us often know exactly what our shortcomings are, but they are afraid to say it because they don't want to hurt our feelings.

Do this experiment. Go to a friend, partner, or mentor you trust, and say:

 

"I'm trying to improve myself. Please answer 100% honestly, I promise I won't get angry. What is one behavior of mine that you think has been hindering my progress the most?"

 

Key: When they answer, shut your mouth. Don't defend yourself. Just listen, take notes, and reflect.

4. Audit "Locus of Control"

Check the language you use daily when facing problems.

 

- Victim Mentality: "I failed because of him...", "The economy is bad...", "My parents don't support me..."

- Responsible Mentality: "I failed because I didn't prepare enough...", "I haven't adapted to the economy...", "I haven't been able to convince my parents..."

If the narrative in your head always points outward, that is the main fault. You are surrendering control of your life to things you cannot change.

 

5. Do the "5 Whys" Technique

This is a technique used by Toyota to find the root cause of production problems, but it is very effective for life problems. Ask "Why" five layers deep.

Case Example: "I feel like my career is stuck."

 

- Why? Because my boss didn't give me a promotion.

- Why? Because he feels my work is mediocre.

- Why? Because I often finish tasks late.

- Why? Because I often procrastinate at the start of projects.

- Why? (Root Cause) Because I actually don't like this job and I'm afraid to look for a new one.

Here you discover that what you blamed was "The Boss," when the root is "Your Fear of changing careers."

Important Reflection

Knowing your own mistakes feels as bitter as swallowing medicine. You may feel ashamed or sad for a moment. That's normal.

However, remember this: A mistake you are aware of is a mistake you can fix. As long as you are not aware of it, you are the passenger. Once you realize it, you are the driver.