How to deflect a sense of doubt when it attacks human's soul

   Hi, today I would like to share about the interesting topic, namely "How to deflect a sense of doubt when it attacks human's soul", the main reason why I choose that topic because self doubt always monitor what human do in daily activity, Doubt is a heavy burden for the soul. It is often not a sign of ignorance, but a sign of fear—fear of making mistakes, fear of regret, or fear of others' judgments. When left unchecked, doubt creates "analysis paralysis" that keeps us stuck in place.

To free ourselves from this bondage, we need an approach that touches both mindset and practical action. Here is a step-by-step guide to overcoming it:

 

1. Make Peace with Imperfection

The root of doubt is perfectionism. We hesitate to take action because we wait for the "perfect" moment or a decision that guarantees 100% success.

 

- Understand Reality: There is no perfect decision. Every choice carries its own risk.

- Shift Focus: Change your mindset from "I must make the right decision" to "I will make a decision, then improve it through my efforts."

- Mantra: "Done is better than perfect."

 

2. The "Worst-Case Scenario" Technique (Fear Setting)

Often, our fear of failure is much greater in our minds than in reality. Use this Stoic technique to neutralize fear:

 

- Write Down Your Doubts: What exactly are you afraid of if you take step X?

- Imagine the Worst-Case: If you fail completely, what is the worst thing that could happen?

- Find Solutions: If the worst happens, what can you do to fix it?

- Evaluate: You will often realize that the worst-case scenario is not fatal and can be remedied.

 

Remember: The pain of future regret (for not trying) is usually far more tormenting than the pain of temporary failure.

 

3. Limit Information and Time (The Paradox of Choice)

In the digital age, we often hesitate because of too many options and too much information.

 

- Limit Options: If there are 10 choices, immediately narrow down to the top 3 options. Choose one from those.

- Set Strict Deadlines: Parkinson's Law applies: "Work (or decisions) will expand to fill the time available."

- For small decisions (lunch, clothes): Give yourself 30 seconds.

- For medium decisions (buying gadgets, holiday routes): Give 2 hours.

- For big decisions (career, moving house): Allocate 3 days for research, then decide.

 

4. Train Your "Decision Muscle" with Small Things

Decision-making ability is like a muscle. If you hesitate on big matters, start training decisiveness with small ones.

 

- At a restaurant, choose your menu in less than 1 minute and stick with it.

- Pick a different route home without overthinking.

- These exercises will habituate your brain to trust intuition and reduce post-decision anxiety.

 

5. Use the 5-Second Rule

Mel Robbins, a renowned author, introduced The 5 Second Rule to break the chain of doubt in the brain.

When you have an impulse to do something productive or make a decision, but doubt begins to surface:

 

- Count down: 5 - 4 - 3 - 2 - 1.

- Move immediately or decide when the countdown reaches 1.

- This countdown shuts down the prefrontal cortex (the part of the brain that overthinks or seeks reasons) and activates the action-oriented part of the brain.

 

6. Surrender (Tawakal)

After using reason (research and logical considerations), the rest lies in areas beyond our control.

Acknowledging our limited humanity and entrusting the final outcome to God (the Universe) is the most powerful calming remedy for the soul. The belief that "What passes me was never meant for me, and what is destined for me will never pass me" will drastically reduce the burden of doubt.

Summary of Action Steps

| Problem | Quick Solution |

| Fear of making wrong choices | Remember that mistakes can be corrected (Reversibility). 

| Too much information | Limit research time, stop seeking new opinions. 

| Overthinking | Use the 5-Second Rule and take physical action. 

| Fear of regret | Compare the risk of failure vs. the risk of lifelong regret. 

The Long-Term Effects of Gaslighting in Relationships and How to Deal with It

  Hi, today I would like to share about the interesting topic, namely "The Long-Term Effects of Gaslighting in Relationships and How to Deal with It", the main reason why I choose that topic because many spouses can't detect gaslighting in relationship status, If we pay attention to research by psychology experts, Gas lighting is part of a person's inability to show the honesty of their dark side, On average, they were victims of violent trauma before they built a serious relationship, Gaslighting is a severe form of psychological manipulation and emotional abuse where one person seeks to make the victim doubt their own memory, perception, and sanity. In relationships, this insidious behavior can have profound and long-lasting psychological effects.

💔 Long-Term Psychological Effects of Gaslighting

The constant, systematic erosion of reality caused by gaslighting can lead to serious mental health consequences that persist long after the abusive relationship ends.

 * Pervasive Self-Doubt and Confusion: This is the core long-term effect. Victims struggle to trust their instincts, feelings, and thoughts, which can extend beyond the abusive relationship and affect all areas of life, leading to indecision and an over-reliance on others for validation.

 * Mental Health Disorders: Chronic exposure to the stress and invalidation of gaslighting can contribute to or exacerbate mental health conditions, including:

   * Anxiety and Chronic Stress: The victim is constantly on edge, anticipating the next manipulation or lie, leading to a state of hypervigilance.

   * Depression: Feelings of hopelessness, sadness, and despair resulting from the ongoing emotional abuse and diminished self-worth.

   * **Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) or Complex PTSD (C-PTSD): Especially in severe cases, the trauma can result in symptoms like flashbacks, nightmares, and avoidance behaviors.

 * Erosion of Self-Esteem and Identity: Victims internalize the abuser's messages that they are "crazy," "wrong," or "too sensitive." They lose their sense of self, values, and worth, often believing their identity is defined by the gaslighter.

 * Social Isolation and Trust Issues: The gaslighter often isolates the victim from friends and family, making it harder to break free. Even after leaving, the trauma can cause difficulty trusting new people, opening up, or feeling safe in future healthy relationships.

 * Impaired Decision-Making: Due to constantly having their judgment questioned and invalidated, victims may become highly indecisive and feel incapable of making sound choices independently.

✅ How to Deal with Gaslighting and Begin Healing

Dealing with gaslighting involves strategies for immediate defense, establishing boundaries, and a long-term healing process to reclaim your reality.

1. Immediate Defenses & Validation

 * Acknowledge and Validate Your Experience: The most crucial first step is to recognize the manipulation and believe yourself. Tell yourself: "I know my reality," and "My feelings are valid."

 * **Document Everything (The "Paper Trail"): Keep a private, secure record of conversations, incidents, dates, and times. Writing down the facts can serve as a powerful reality check when the gaslighter tries to deny or distort what happened.

 * Disengage from the Argument: The gaslighter aims to draw you into circular arguments. Refuse to debate your reality. Use simple, non-emotional statements like:

   * "I know what I saw."

   * "That's your perception, and this is mine."

   * "I'm not going to continue this conversation right now."

2. Re-establishing Boundaries and Support

 * Set and Enforce Firm Boundaries: Clearly communicate what behavior you will and will not accept, and stick to the consequences if the boundary is violated. In severe cases, this means limiting or cutting off contact entirely.

 * Seek Outside Support: Talk to trusted friends, family members, or colleagues who can validate your experiences and perception of events. Gaslighters work by isolating you, so reconnecting with a supportive network is vital.

 * Educate Yourself: Learn about the tactics of gaslighting and emotional abuse. Understanding the mechanism of the manipulation empowers you to recognize it and resist it.

3. The Healing and Recovery Journey

 * Professional Therapy: A mental health professional (like a trauma-informed therapist or a therapist specializing in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy/CBT) can provide essential tools for recovery. Therapy helps:

   * Process the trauma and grief.

   * Rebuild self-trust and self-esteem.

   * Challenge negative, internalized messages (cognitive restructuring).

 * Focus on Self-Care and Reconnection: Engage in activities that help you reconnect with your authentic self and intuition:

   * Journaling to anchor your thoughts and feelings.

   * Practicing mindfulness or meditation to feel grounded.

   * Engaging in hobbies, exercise, or creative activities that you enjoy and that reaffirm your self-agency.

 * Be Patient and Practice Self-Compassion: Healing from psychological abuse is a long, non-linear process. Forgive yourself for any perceived shortcomings, acknowledge that you are a survivor, and give yourself grace to heal at your own pace.

If you are currently in a situation involving gaslighting or other forms of emotional abuse, consider reaching out to a local abuse hotline or mental health professional for immediate support and resources.

Several intellectual training methods that simultaneously cultivate emotional sensitivity

  Hi, today I would like to share about the interesting topic, namely "Several intellectual training methods that simultaneously cultivate emotional sensitivity", the main reason why I choose that topic because many schools try to provide a good program for the students, "There are several intellectual training methods that simultaneously cultivate emotional sensitivity. These approaches typically combine cognition (thinking) and affect (feelings and empathy). Here are common methods used in educational psychology, organizations, and therapy:

 

⭐ 1. Reflective Thinking

 This method involves exercises to: 

✅evaluate past experiences, 

✅recognize patterns of emotional reactions, 

✅connect thoughts–feelings–actions.

 

Example exercises: 

✅Reflective journaling 

✅“Pause and name the emotion” 

Writing daily experiences with an analysis of what I felt and why I felt it.

  

⭐ 2. Cognitive Behavioral Training (CBT-Based Awareness) 

Training the relationship between: 

👉 Thoughts → Feelings → Behaviors

 

The goal is for someone to be able to: 

✅recognize automatic thoughts, 

✅evaluate irrational thoughts, 

✅choose healthy emotional responses.

 

This improves self-awareness and emotional control.

  

⭐ 3. Mindfulness-Based Emotional Training 

Training the ability to be fully present with what is felt without judgment.

 

Techniques used: 

✅Mindful breathing 

✅Body scan 

✅RASA method (Receive, Acknowledge, Summarize, Ask)

 

This method improves:

✅empathy, 

✅sensitivity to one's own feelings,

✅ability to capture emotional signals from others.

 

⭐ 4. Role-Playing and Social Simulation

Used in professional communication training, counseling, education, and the military.

 

Its function: 

✅understand other people's perspectives, 

✅learn appropriate social responses, 

✅practice situational empathy.

 

Examples: work conflict simulations, practicing speaking with an empathetic tone, negotiation games.

 

 

 

⭐ 5. Active Listening Training

Focus on: 

✅listening before responding, 

✅capturing the emotion behind the words, 

✅validating other people's feelings.

 

Techniques: 

✅paraphrasing, 

✅reflective listening,

 ✅emotional labeling.

 

This trains emotional intelligence and interpersonal relationship skills.

 

⭐ 6. Emotional Literacy Education

 Training that helps participants: 

✅know the vocabulary of emotions (more detailed than just "angry, sad, happy") 

✅understand the intensity of emotions (e.g., annoyed → angry → furious) 

✅identify sources of emotional triggers

 

This method is used in trauma therapy, parenting, and leadership training.

 

⭐ 7. Narrative Therapy & Storytelling Practice

 Participants are asked to: 

✅tell emotional experiences, 

✅give meaning to that experience, 

✅find a healthier narrative.

 

This integrates intellectual abilities (language, logic, reflection) with deep emotional processing.

 

⭐ 8. Group Discussion & Empathy Circle

 This method involves: 

✅open dialogue, 

✅listening to other people's experiences without judging, 

✅sharing perspectives. 

The results: 

✅increased emotional attunement, 

✅increased empathy and ability to read social emotional situations.

 

🔍 Conclusion 

Intellectual training that develops emotional sensitivity not only focuses on thinking skills, but also self-awareness, empathy, emotion regulation, and meaning-making of experiences."