What causes other people to feel uncomfortable when they get closer with someone who is not doing anything

Hi, good day, today I would like to share about the interesting topik, namely "What causes other people to feel uncomfortable when they get closer with someone who is not doing anything? It must feel exhausting and isolating when you believe you’ve done everything right, yet your surroundings react the opposite way. This sense of "doing nothing wrong" often clashes with unwritten social dynamics.

 

In psychology, there are several perspectives to analyze this phenomenon—not to blame you, but to provide new insights.

 

1. Differences Between Self-Perception and Social Perception

 

Humans often have "blind spots" in their behavior. Psychology recognizes the Johari Window concept, which includes a "Blind Area"—aspects of ourselves that others know but we are unaware of.

 

- Non-verbal cues: Sometimes it’s not what you say, but how you say it. A flat facial expression, monotonous tone of voice, or overly intense/lack of eye contact can subconsciously make people feel threatened.

- Projected energy: If you feel anxious or insecure internally, others can often "pick up" on that tension and respond by also feeling uncomfortable (the emotional contagion effect).

 

2. Unintentional Violations of Social Boundaries

 

Even without making serious mistakes, small behaviors can trigger discomfort:

 

- Personal Space: Do you stand too close to others?

- Intensity: Are you overly intense when speaking, or too withdrawn to the point where people feel they have to "walk on eggshells" around you?

- Contextual Appropriateness: Sometimes being "too correct" or rigid in casual situations can make people feel indirectly judged.

 

3. The Phenomenon of Projection

 

There’s a possibility that the issue lies not with you, but with them.

 

- Mirror to Themselves: Sometimes someone’s presence reminds others of their own shortcomings. If you are highly disciplined or honest, those who are less so might feel uncomfortable because your presence serves as a "reminder" of their perceived failures.

- Stereotypes or Prejudices: Humans tend to categorize people based on first impressions, which are often unfair.

 

4. Social Anxiety and Cognitive Bias

 

If you have a tendency toward social anxiety, you may experience the Spotlight Effect. This is a cognitive bias where we feel others are closely watching and judging us, when in reality they are likely preoccupied with their own thoughts. You might interpret others’ tired or confused expressions as a sign of being "uncomfortable" with you.

 

What Can Be Done?

 

Step Explanation 

Ask for Feedback Talk to someone you trust most: "I feel like people often seem uncomfortable around me—are there aspects of my demeanor I need to work on?" 

Self-Observation Pay attention to your body language. Do you often cross your arms? Do you smile when greeting others? 

Focus on Others Shift your focus from "How are they seeing me?" to "How can I help them feel at ease?" 

 

It’s important to remember that you are not responsible for everyone else’s emotions. However, understanding these dynamics can help you navigate social interactions more smoothly.

Hopefully this article can give you an insight and also can improve your life, good luck.

The effects of functional fixation on human thinking ability

  Hi, today I would like to share about the interesting topic, namely "The effects of functional fixation on human thinking ability", the main reason why I choose that topic because many people get frustrated when they try to know more about their brain potential, let we talk about Functional Fixedness. In cognitive psychology, it is a mental block that causes a person to only perceive an object according to its traditional or primary function.

 

Simply put: If you see a hammer only as a tool for driving nails, and it never occurs to you that it can be used as a paperweight or a doorstop, you are experiencing functional fixedness.

 

Psychological Perspective on Functional Fixedness

 

Psychology views this phenomenon as a form of cognitive bias that hinders creative problem-solving. Here are the key points:

 

- Creativity Barrier: This phenomenon was first studied by Karl Duncker. He found that people often fail to solve simple problems because they are too fixated on an object's common use.

- Past Learning: Psychology suggests that this is a side effect of experience. The more frequently we use an object for a specific function, the harder it becomes for our brain to imagine other uses.

- "Einstellung" Effect: This is the brain's tendency to use solutions that have proven successful in the past (mental schemas), even when a more efficient new method exists.

 

Classic Example: Duncker's Candle Experiment

 

In Karl Duncker's famous experiment, participants were given a candle, a box of thumbtacks, and a lighter. They were asked to attach the candle to a wall so that wax would not drip onto the table below.

 

- Failure: Many tried to tack the candle directly to the wall.

- Solution: Empty the thumbtack box, tack the box to the wall as a platform, then place the candle on top of it.

- The Problem: Participants who saw the box containing thumbtacks experienced functional fixedness—they only saw the box as a "container," not as a "building material."

 

How to Overcome It

 

Psychologists recommend several techniques to break this mental rigidity:

 

- Generic Feature Analysis: Try describing an object without naming it. For example, instead of saying "fork," say "a metal object with sharp prongs." This helps the brain see other potential uses.

- Think "Out of the Box": Consciously ask yourself, "What else can this object do if its current function is unavailable?"

I think the explanation is enough, hopefully this article can give you an insight and improve your life, good luck.

Applying DBT techniques in daily activities:

Hi, today I would like to share about the interesting topic, namely "Applying DBT techniques in daily activities", the main reason why I choose that Topic because not everyone can apply DBT, Apart from that, you need guidance provided by professionals, Here are examples of applying DBT techniques in daily activities:

 

1. Mindfulness (Present-Moment Awareness) 

- When eating: Instead of eating while looking at your phone or thinking about work, focus on the taste, texture, and aroma of the food. Notice how your mouth and stomach respond to each bite. This helps reduce emotional eating and improves body awareness.

- When stuck in traffic: Instead of feeling angry, focus on physical sensations (heartbeat, breathing), or observe your surroundings without judgment. Say to yourself, "I am in the car, and the traffic is heavy. This is uncomfortable, but I can get through it."

 

2. Emotion Regulation

- When feeling angry due to someone’s comment:

1. Recognize the emotion: Acknowledge, "I feel angry and hurt."

2. Do not act impulsively: Take several deep breaths or step away to a quiet place for a moment.

3. Change your thought pattern: Instead of thinking, "They intentionally hurt me," try thinking, "Maybe they’re having a bad day, or I misunderstood their meaning."

4. Do calming activities: Drink water, listen to soothing music, or write down your feelings in a journal.

 

3. Distress Tolerance 

- When facing a stressful work deadline:

- Use the "Survival Only Goal" technique: Say, "I don’t need to finish everything perfectly right now; I just need to do my best and get through this first."

- Do brief physical relaxation techniques, such as pressing your hands against the table for 5 seconds then releasing them, or doing diaphragmatic breathing for 1 minute.

- Avoid avoiding problems in unhealthy ways (e.g., overeating or drinking alcohol), and focus on small steps you can take right now.

 

4. Interpersonal Effectiveness

- When wanting to ask a friend for help:

- Use the "DESC" technique:

- Describe: "You know I’ve been working on this college project for the past week."

- Express: "I feel really tired and a bit stressed because there are some parts I don’t understand."

- Specify: "Do you have about 30 minutes tomorrow afternoon to help me understand the calculation section?"

- Consequences: "If you can help, I’ll feel much calmer and be able to finish the project on time. If not, I’ll ask my lecturer for help instead."