Why do so many people find it so hard to be themselves

  Hi, today I want to share an interesting topic, namely "Why do so many people find it so hard to be themselves" The main reason why I chose this topic is because many young people don't know about themselves including their potential, Besides that, since childhood many people aren't educated to discover what's inside them through spiritual experiences, and they're accustomed to trusting the influence of their external environment rather than seeing the world from within, that is their biggest problem, but now I want to discuss more deeply about how to recognize your own existentiality, let's break this down about the causes why we can not get information to recognize ourselves, here are from several perspectives—psychological, social, and spiritual.

🌪️ 1. Because from childhood, we're shaped to be "someone else."

We grow up not with the question, "What do you like?", but with the words: "Don't be like that, you'll embarrass others." "A good boy should be like this." "What will people say?"

We are shaped by other people's standards first, not by our conscience.

🧠 2. Because we're too busy comparing.

Social media accelerates this. We see the best parts of other people's lives and then compare them to our deepest wounds.

Then feelings arise: "I'm not good enough." "I should be like her." "I don't deserve to be me."

Comparison is the quickest way to lose our identity.

 🎭 3. Because we wear masks to be accepted

We're afraid of being rejected, being seen as weird, not attractive enough, not meeting the "standard of success."

As a result, we pretend—being smart, cool, strong, funny, even though it's exhausting.

But wearing a mask can make us forget our true selves.

🔒 4. Because of unhealed wounds

Sometimes we struggle to be ourselves because we feel our true selves are unworthy.

This could be due to childhood trauma, rejection, or feelings of failure that haven't been accepted.

"I'm afraid people will find out who I really am... and they'll leave."

🧘‍♀️ 5. Because we're not used to being quiet and honest with ourselves

The world is so noisy.

We're busy chasing validation, but rarely sit still and ask ourselves: Who am I without all my accomplishments? What really makes me alive? If I didn't have to please anyone, what would I do?

💡 So... how do I start being myself?

 These small steps can help how to recognize our deep self:

✅Know your inner voice: Make a habit of meditating for 5–10 minutes per day. Listen to your inner voice without judgment.

✅Slow down: Pause. See if what you're pursuing is truly what you want.

✅Have the courage to say no: You don't have to be liked by everyone. Be firm about what you're not.

✅Accept your wounded parts: Don't hide them. Embrace them. Forgive them. Nurture them.

✅Shrink the outside world, enlarge the inside world: Compare less. Know more.

Type of character are needed for someone to achieve success

   Hi, today I want to share an interesting topic, namely "Type of character are needed for someone to achieve success", There are several reasons why I chose this topic because many people are curious about how to be successful, and some people want to change fate for the better life,  talking about success is not as easy as people imagine because there is no instant path to success, besides that, we must know how to recognize the types of consequences that must be taken to pay for success.  there are many factors that can lead someone to success, and there are a combination of these traits is often key. Here are some important traits that successful people generally possess:

1. Tenacity and Perseverance

Persistence is the ability to keep trying despite obstacles and failures. Successful people don't give up easily. They see failure as a lesson and an opportunity to grow, not as the end of the world. They persevere in pursuing their goals, even when the path feels difficult and tiring.

2. Self-Discipline

Self-discipline is the ability to control oneself and stay focused on long-term goals. This means making tough choices, such as resisting temptations that could interfere with work and remaining consistent with good habits, such as waking up early or exercising regularly. Self-discipline helps a person stay on track.

3. Adaptability

The world is constantly changing, and successful people are those who can adapt to these changes. They are not afraid to try new things, learn new skills, or change their strategies when necessary. This flexibility allows them to stay relevant and capitalize on emerging opportunities.

 4. Self-Confidence

A healthy sense of self-confidence is crucial. This doesn't mean arrogance, but rather confidence in one's own ability to overcome challenges and make sound decisions. Confident people tend to take calculated risks, communicate their ideas clearly, and worry less about what others think.

5. Courage

The courage to step outside of our comfort zone is crucial. Success often requires us to take frightening steps, such as starting a new business, moving to a different city, or speaking in public. Without courage, many valuable opportunities can be missed.

6. Goal-Oriented

Successful people have clear, well-defined goals. They not only dream but also create concrete plans to achieve those dreams. They know exactly what they want to achieve and the steps they need to take to get there.

7. Responsibility

Taking full responsibility for their actions, decisions, and outcomes is a key characteristic. Successful people don't blame others or circumstances when faced with problems.  They acknowledge their mistakes and seek ways to correct them, ultimately giving them greater control over their lives.

While possessing the above traits is helpful, it's important to remember that success is relative, and everyone's definition is different. The combination of traits that is most important may vary depending on the field and goals you're trying to achieve.

While all character traits require effort to develop, some are often considered the most difficult. Of the traits we've discussed, the most challenging to develop are self-discipline and adaptability.

Self-Discipline

Self-discipline is often considered difficult because it goes against our natural instinct to seek comfort and instant gratification. Our brains, by default, tend to choose the easiest path. For example, it's easier to procrastinate and watch a movie than to focus on completing a task.

Developing self-discipline means consciously fighting these urges, which requires significant mental energy. It's a daily battle that must be won repeatedly. Many people feel exhausted or fail midway because of the high level of consistency required.

Adaptability

Adaptability is also difficult because humans naturally prefer routine and the familiar. Change often brings uncertainty and fear.

Developing this character trait requires us to let go of old, comfortable ways and be willing to face uncertainty. This means constantly learning, stepping out of our comfort zones, and changing our mindsets. This can be very challenging, especially if we've been accustomed to a certain way of working or working in a certain environment for years.

 Ultimately, the difficulty in developing these character traits varies from person to person. Some people may be naturally highly disciplined but struggle to adapt, and vice versa. The most important thing is to recognize our weaknesses and continually practice to become better individuals.

Digging into the source of instant desire

  Hi, today I want to share an interesting topic, namely "Digging into the source of instant desire", The main reason why I chose this topic is because many people don't know how to resist the easily tempting instant desires. besides that, many people get caught up in instant gratification moment until they drain their savings to fulfill their instant gratification, digging into the source of instant cravings (impulses) is very interesting because it can open up understanding of underlying thought patterns, emotions, and needs. 

Here's a systematic way:

1. Use the Self-Reflection Technique

✅Ask the 5 Whys

Example: "Why do I want something sweet right now?"

Because I want something delicious.

✅Why do I want something delicious? → Because I'm bored.

✅Why am I bored? → Because I'm stressed.

→ Result: The craving for sweets isn't due to hunger, but rather a way to cope with stress.

Freewriting

Take 5 minutes to write spontaneously whenever an instant craving arises. Don't censor yourself; let it flow.

2. Observe Triggers

✅Situation → Where are you? Who are you with?

✅Emotions → What are you feeling? (stress, happiness, boredom, anxiety)

✅Time → Is there a pattern (e.g., always at night)?

✅Environment → Are there advertisements, social media, food aromas, or friends that influence you?

3. Use a Dedicated Journal

This can be a simple format:

When the desire arises

✅What is the desire? (e.g., buying expensive coffee, playing games, scrolling through social media)

✅Trigger (situation, person, emotion)

Initial response (immediately acted on or withheld)

✅Result after 10 minutes (is the desire still strong?)

4. Conduct a Delay Experiment

✅Delay fulfilling the desire for 10–15 minutes.

While waiting, ask yourself:

"Do I really need this or just want it for a moment?"

"How does my body feel now?"

Note what happens. This can reveal whether the desire stems from a physical need or simply an emotional impulse.

5. Use a Psychological Perspective

✅Behavioral: Is this an automatic habit (like checking your phone every time you see a notification)?

✅Emotional: Does the desire arise when you're sad, bored, or anxious?

✅Social: Is it because you want to look the same as everyone else (FOMO)?

✅Biological: Is it because you're sleep deprived, hungry, thirsty, or need a dopamine hit?

Letting go of instant gratification is key to building good habits and achieving long-term goals. Our brains naturally gravitate toward things that provide immediate pleasure, but with the right strategies, we can train ourselves to delay gratification.

Here are some effective ways to let go of instant gratification:

1. Identify Your Triggers

The first step is to recognize what triggers your instant gratification. Is it boredom, stress, or a specific habit? For example, maybe you often check social media when you're bored at work. By identifying your triggers, you can more easily anticipate and avoid those situations. Make a list of your triggers and note how you typically respond to them.

2. Delay Decisions for 10 Minutes

When an instant gratification arises, apply the "delay for 10 minutes" rule. Don't act immediately. Distract yourself by doing something else, like drinking water, taking a short walk, or taking deep breaths. Often, after 10 minutes, the intensity of the urge will decrease significantly, and you can make a more rational decision.

 3. Visualize Long-Term Results

Instead of focusing on immediate pleasure, shift your mind to visualizing long-term results. If you feel like buying something you don't need, imagine your savings growing at the end of the month. If you feel like eating unhealthy food, imagine your body becoming fitter after a healthy eating routine. Imagining these positive outcomes will make you more motivated to delay immediate gratification.

4. Replace Bad Habits with Neutral Habits

Instead of trying to fight instant cravings directly, replace the habits that trigger them with easier, neutral or positive habits. If you often browse YouTube while working, try replacing that habit with listening to instrumental music. If you feel like snacking on an unhealthy snack, keep fruit or other healthy snacks nearby. This will help you gradually break the old habit without putting too much pressure on yourself.

5. Use Small "Rewards" to Delay

Determine small rewards for yourself after you successfully delay gratification. For example, if you successfully complete a difficult task without being distracted, you could give yourself permission to watch an episode of your favorite TV series. In this way, you train your brain to associate delayed gratification with intentional positive outcomes, rather than simply rejection.