Hi, today I would like to share about the interesting topic, namely "The feeling of insecurity that arises from comparing oneself to the achievements of others", the main reason why I choose that topic because not everyone can defend themselves from feeling of insecurity when they see other people's experience more often than they see themselves, this is a very relevant question to the human experience, especially in the age of social media. In general, we don't need to feel insecure about the life achievements of others, and psychology provides many perspectives to support this.
🧠Psychological Perspective
The feeling of insecurity that arises from comparing oneself to the achievements of others is often rooted in the concept of Social Comparison Theory, proposed by Leon Festinger.
1. Social Comparison
Social comparison is a natural process in which we evaluate our abilities and opinions by comparing them with others. There are two main types of comparison:
- Upward Social Comparison:
- Occurs when we compare ourselves to people we consider better, more successful, or more accomplished.
- Negative Impact: This is a major source of feelings of insecurity, envy, anxiety, and low self-esteem. We may feel incapable, like a failure, or that the success of others threatens our self-worth.
- Positive Impact (If managed well): If we have healthy self-esteem, upward comparison can be a motivation and source of inspiration for self-improvement.
- Downward Social Comparison:
- Occurs when we compare ourselves to people we consider less fortunate or with lower abilities.
- Purpose: To increase self-esteem or make ourselves feel better (self-enhancement).
2. What is Insecurity?
According to the American Psychological Association (APA), insecurity is a feeling of inadequacy, lack of confidence, anxiety about life goals, and anxiety about interacting. When it arises because of the achievements of others, it is often a symptom of:
- Low Self-Esteem: Lack of appreciation or positive evaluation of oneself.
- Unrealistic Social Standards: Society, especially through social media, often creates uniform standards of success (e.g., must be established at a certain age, have this and that), even though everyone has a different path and definition of success.
- Focus on the End Result, Not the Process: We only see the "achievements" (end results) of others without seeing their different processes, struggles, failures, and life contexts.
3. Why You Don't Need to Be Insecure?
Psychology suggests that insecurity will only harm yourself. Here's why:
- Different Life Paths: Each individual has unique contexts, paces, and challenges. Comparing yourself to others is like comparing apples to oranges.
- Personal Definition of Success: True success should be based on your personal values and goals, not the standards of others. Success can mean self-fulfillment, health, or good relationships, not just wealth or position.
- Incomplete Comparison: On social media, all we see are the "highlights" (best parts) of other people's lives, which often do not reflect the full reality of their struggles.
✨ Steps to Overcome Insecurity
Instead of feeling insecure, psychology suggests directing that energy into something constructive:
- Focus on Self-Improvement: Turn upward comparison from a threat into inspiration. Take lessons from the success of others without feeling inferior.
- Appreciate the Process: Value every step and progress you make, no matter how small. Focus on improving from your previous version.
- Understand Individual Differences: Realize that everyone has their own timeline and advantages.
- Set Boundaries with Social Media: Limit exposure to content that often triggers harmful social comparisons.
In short, feeling insecure is normal due to the urge for social comparison, but it is unnecessary and actually hinders your growth. The goal is to change comparison from destructive to constructive."