Hi, today I would like to share about the interesting topic, namely " "Being an authentic person who does not side with any group", the main reason why I choose that topic because many people try to imitate other people's behavior, let me clarify something: Being an authentic person does not mean being ‘perfect’, but rather being true to yourself amidst the demands of a society that often forces us to wear a ‘mask’.
Here are some practical steps to build personal authenticity based on a psychological approach:
1. Identify your ‘Core Values’
People often feel lost because they live according to other people’s values. To be authentic, you need to know what truly matters to you.
*Exercise: Choose 3–5 words that represent your life principles (e.g. Honesty, Freedom, Creativity, or Dedication).
*Application: Use these values as a compass when making both small and big decisions.
2. Practise Self-Awareness
Authenticity begins with recognising your emotions and reactions without judging them.
* Observe when you feel most ‘alive’ and when you feel ‘drained’.
* Often, extreme mental exhaustion is a sign that you are pretending to be someone else to please those around you.
3. Have the Courage to Set Boundaries
An authentic person knows when to say “no”. People-pleasing is the main enemy of authenticity.
* Stop agreeing to things that actually conflict with your capacity or principles.
* Remember that refusing someone’s request doesn’t mean you’re a bad person; rather, you’re safeguarding your integrity.
4. Embrace Vulnerability
According to expert Brené Brown, authenticity cannot exist without the courage to be vulnerable.
* Don’t be afraid to admit mistakes or ignorance.
* Authentic individuals don’t feel they have to appear perfect all the time. They are comfortable with their imperfect humanity.
5. Reduce ‘Self-monitoring’ in Communication
High self-monitoring tends to involve constantly adjusting behaviour and speech to meet environmental expectations, causing people to often lose their honesty or ‘true voice’.
We often filter our thoughts to sound ‘safe’ to others.
* Try to start voicing your opinions honestly yet politely.
* Authenticity doesn’t mean being rude; it means aligning what you feel inside with what you say out loud.
The point of reducing “self-censorship” is to stop overthinking “What will people think if I say this?” before you open your mouth.
Imagine there is an "Editor" or "Security Guard" in your head. Every time you want to speak, this security guard checks your words. If they feel the words might make people dislike you or make you seem less intelligent, the security guard will stop you from speaking or tell you to change the sentence to a "safe" one.
Example of the Difference:
*Situation: A friend invites you to eat at a place you don’t fancy.
If you use a high “Censor”:
You’re actually reluctant to go there, but because you’re afraid of being seen as fussy or of disappointing your friend, you reply: “Sure, whatever you guys want.” (Even though you’re annoyed inside).
If you lower the "Censorship":
You’re honest about your own feelings without getting angry: "I’m actually not too keen on the food there, how about we try somewhere else?"
Why Should This Censorship Be Reduced?
1. Mental Exhaustion: Constantly thinking through scenarios in your head before speaking is mentally draining.
2. Identity Becomes Blurred: If everything you say is the result of "censorship" to please others, eventually you’ll get confused yourself: "Which one is actually my genuine opinion?"
3. Relationships Become Fake: Others never get to know the real you; they only know the "revised version" you present.
So, What’s the Solution?
It doesn’t mean we should be rude or speak without thinking, but we should try to be more transparent. Here’s how:
1. Be Honest About Not Knowing: If you don’t know, say you don’t know. Don’t censor yourself out of fear of looking uninformed.
2. Be Honest About Disagreement: If you disagree, express it politely. Don’t hold back just because you’re afraid of conflict.
3. Value Your Inner Voice: Give your personal opinions a chance to be heard by others, even if they might not be popular.
The point is, reducing self-censorship means stopping the excessive editing of yourself just to be accepted by your surroundings.
6. Assess Your Social Environment
It’s hard to be authentic if you’re in an environment that judges differences.
* Seek out a circle of friends who value honesty and diversity of thought.
* A healthy environment will support your growth, not pressure you to conform.
One important note: Authenticity is a journey, not a final destination. There will be days when you feel you have to ‘put on a front’ due to professional or social demands, and that’s perfectly normal. The most important thing is that you have a way back to your true self.