Hi, today I want to share an interesting topic, namely "How to avoid the toxic taste of positivity" , the reason I chose this topic is because many people glorify positive feelings and avoid negative feelings with a narrow perspective, The term toxic positivity refers to forcing, either on oneself or others, to always think and act positively, while denying or suppressing negative emotions such as sadness, disappointment, or anger.
This attitude often arises with good intentions, namely to provide encouragement or support. However, when done excessively and unrealistically, it can actually become toxic. Negative emotions are a natural part of the human experience and are important to acknowledge, process, and manage healthily.
The Difference Between Toxic Positivity and Optimism.
It is important to distinguish between toxic positivity and healthy optimism.
* Healthy optimism is a realistic positive attitude. Optimists acknowledge the existence of problems or difficulties, but they believe they have the ability to overcome them. They do not suppress negative emotions, but rather accept them as part of the process.
* Toxic positivity, on the other hand, encourages the denial of negative emotions. This is a dishonest and shallow form of optimism because it forces a false sense of happiness, even in situations that are impossible
Characteristics of Toxic Positivity
Toxic positivity can be recognized by several characteristics, both when we experience it ourselves and when others do it to us.
* Emotional denial: Often saying "I'm fine" when in reality, we're in turmoil.
* Guilt: Feeling ashamed or guilty when experiencing negative emotions, viewing it as a weakness.
* Judgmentalism: Giving advice that seems judgmental, such as "Don't complain so much" or "Be grateful, many people are suffering more."
* Negative thinking: Ignoring or minimizing others' feelings with statements like "Everything will be fine" or "There must be a silver lining," without allowing them space to feel their sadness or disappointment.
* Negative Impacts of Toxic Positivity
While seemingly positive, this attitude can be detrimental to mental health.
* Inhibiting emotional processing: By suppressing negative emotions, a person is never able to process them properly, which can lead to a buildup of stress and anxiety.
* Guilt: Victims of toxic positivity, whether from themselves or others, can feel guilty because they feel they can't always be happy.
* Lack of self-confidence: A person can feel unappreciated or unheard, making them reluctant to share their problems in the future.
* Increased risk of mental disorders: In the long term, persistent denial of emotions can trigger more serious mental health problems such as depression, anxiety, or burnout.
Toxic positivity can be prevented, both in yourself and when interacting with others. The key is to build awareness and develop empathy, and shift your mindset from "always having to be happy" to "accepting all emotions as part of life."
Preventing Toxic Positivity in Yourself
* Acknowledge and Validate Your Emotions. Allow yourself to feel negative emotions without judgment. This is the most important step. Instead of forcing yourself to "think positively," try asking yourself: "Why am I feeling sad/angry/disappointed?" Acknowledging your feelings is the first step to processing and releasing them.
* Practice Self-Compassion. Treat yourself with kindness and understanding, especially when you're facing difficulties. Instead of blaming yourself, think of it as comforting a friend who is having a hard time.
* Journal or Express Your Feelings. Journaling can be a powerful tool for expressing your feelings and thoughts honestly, without fear of judgment. If you feel more comfortable, talk to someone you trust who can listen to you without judgment.
* Set Boundaries on Social Media. Social media is often a source of toxic positivity because many people only share the positive aspects of their lives. If you feel stressed viewing it, it's okay to limit your time or even take a break from social media.
Preventing Toxic Positivity in Others
* Listen with Empathy, Not Judgment. When someone tells you about their problems, focus on listening. Your job isn't to "fix" their problems, but to be a good listener.
* Validate Their Feelings. After listening, let them know that what they're feeling is valid and normal. Phrases like, "I understand you're feeling hard" or "It's natural for you to feel sad, I feel the same way," are much more reassuring than, "It's okay, don't be sad."
* Avoid Clichés. Stay away from phrases like "Everything will be fine" or "There must be a silver lining." While well-intentioned, these phrases often feel dismissive. Instead, offer tangible support, such as: "Is there anything I can do to help?" or "I'm here if you need someone to talk to."
* Ask What They Need. Everyone has different ways of coping. Some may just need a listening ear, while others may need advice or help. Ask them directly what you can do for them.
By implementing these steps, we can create a more honest, healthy, and supportive environment where every emotion—both positive and negative—is valued and accepted.