Hi, today I want to share an interesting topic, namely "How to know if someone is good before marrying someone else", The main reason why I chose this topic is because many young couples rush into marriage without knowing the quality of their partner. To know someone's character before they are married, we need to take anticipatory action sich as, we see how a person treats money, whether he is reckless in using money or very careful, how he treated his biological parents, and how a person speaks when he is angry, Now, let's delve deeper into how to know if someone is good before getting married, using a more comprehensive approach:
✏️Building a Solid Foundation Before Marriage: Delving Deeper into the Character of a Potential Partner
Marriage is a lifelong commitment, so choosing the right partner is a crucial decision. Knowing if someone is "good" before marriage requires in-depth observation, open communication, and careful evaluation. Here's a more detailed guide:
1. Observing Daily Behavior: The Microscope of True Character
- Interactions with Others:
- Treatment of the "weak": Observe how they interact with restaurant staff, janitors, or even animals. Do they show patience, respect, and empathy? People of good character treat all beings with dignity, regardless of social status.
- Response to mistakes: How do they react when others make mistakes? Are they quick to forgive or do they hold grudges? The ability to forgive is an important indicator of emotional maturity.
- Emotional Management:
- Reaction to stress: Observe how they handle pressure at work, family problems, or traffic jams. Do they remain calm and seek solutions, or do they explode and blame others? The ability to manage stress is key to a harmonious relationship.
- Response to disappointment: How do they react when their plans fail or their expectations are not met? Are they able to accept disappointment gracefully and learn from it, or do they lament their fate and blame circumstances?
- Habits and Routines:
- Time management: Are they punctual or often late? How do they manage their schedule? Good time management shows respect for other people's time.
- Cleanliness and tidiness: Do they maintain personal hygiene and keep their environment clean? Cleanliness and tidiness reflect discipline and attention to detail.
- Social media use: How do they use social media? Are they wise in sharing information and interacting with others online? Social media can be a window into their values and views.
2. Open and Honest Communication: A Bridge to Understanding
- Values and Principles of Life:
- In-depth discussion: Talk about the values that are most important to you, such as honesty, loyalty, family, religion, and justice. Do they have views that align with yours?
- Response to differences: If there are differences of opinion, how do they respond? Are they open to discussing and finding common ground, or do they insist on their own opinion?
- Hopes and Dreams:
- Vision of marriage and family: Discuss your expectations about marriage, the roles of husband and wife, the division of household chores, child education, and family financial management. Do they have the same vision as you?
- Life goals: Talk about your life goals, both personal and professional. Do they support your dreams?
- Past and Life Experiences:
- Previous relationships: Ask about previous romantic relationships, what they learned from them, and how they ended those relationships.
- Difficult experiences: Ask about difficult experiences they have had and how they overcame them. This can provide an overview of their mental and emotional resilience.
- Relationship with family: Ask about their relationship with their parents and siblings. How do they interact with them? Family relationships can provide clues about how they will treat you as a partner.
3. Interaction with the Social Environment: Observing in Context
- Friends and Family:
- Quality of relationships: Observe how they interact with their friends. Do they have loyal and supportive friends? The quality of friendships reflects their own quality.
- Family opinions: Listen to what their family says about them. Do they provide positive support or are they worried about something?
- How They Talk About Others:
- Gossip and criticism: Are they prone to gossip or criticize others behind their backs? A good person will avoid such behavior.
- Empathy and support: Do they show empathy towards others and are they willing to help those in need?
- Contribution in the Community:
- Social activities: Are they involved in social or volunteer activities? Involvement in the community shows concern for others.
- Environmental awareness: Do they care about the environment and strive to live sustainably?
4. Consistency Evaluation: Looking for Clear Patterns
- Words and Deeds:
- Promises kept: Do they always keep their promises? Consistency between words and deeds is a sign of integrity.
- Responsibility: Are they responsible for their actions? Do they admit their mistakes and try to fix them?
- Behavioral Changes:
- Authenticity: Are they always being themselves, or are they trying to be someone different to impress you? Authenticity is key to a lasting relationship.
- Emotional stability: Do they have extreme mood swings or unpredictable behavior? Emotional stability is important for creating a sense of security in a relationship.
5. Intuition and Personal Feelings: A Voice of the Heart That Should Not Be Ignored
- Comfort and Security:
- Feelings around them: Do you feel comfortable and safe when you are with them? Do you feel you can be yourself without fear of being judged?
- Trust: Do you feel you can trust them completely? Trust is the foundation of any healthy relationship.
- Positive Influence:
- Motivation: Do they motivate you to be a better person? Do they support your personal growth?
- Happiness: Do you feel happy and peaceful when you are with them?
In addition to the points above, there are several cultural values that are important to consider in the context of Indonesia.
- Adab and Manners: Pay attention to how they speak and behave towards older or respected people.
- Family Responsibility: Pay attention to how they fulfill their obligations to their family, especially their parents.
- Religion and Beliefs: Pay attention to how they practice their religion. Are they devout and obedient, or just formal?
- Parental Blessing: Getting parental blessing is very important in Indonesian culture.
✏️Important Warnings:
- Don't ignore red flags. If something makes you uncomfortable or suspicious, don't hesitate to ask or find out more. Some red flags to watch out for include: physical or verbal violence, addiction, lies, infidelity, and excessive control.
- Don't be idealistic. No one is perfect. Accept your partner's shortcomings, but never tolerate harmful or disrespectful behavior.
- Trust yourself. You are the one who knows best for yourself. Don't let others pressure you into marrying someone you don't love or trust.
By making careful observations, communicating openly, and listening to your intuition, you can make a wiser decision about whether someone is "good" for you before getting married. Marriage is a long journey, so make sure you choose a partner who will be a true friend, lover, and partner in good times and bad."