Why do uncomfortable feelings arise even though we don't do anything

 

 

    Hi, today I would like to share about the interesting topic, namely "Why do uncomfortable feelings arise even though we don't do anything", the main reason why I choose that topic because many people don't know how to detect the uneasy feeling when they do nothing useful, That uneasy feeling that arises for no apparent reason—often referred to as free-floating anxiety or simply a sense of unease—can indeed be incredibly draining. As someone working in the field of psychotherapy, you will no doubt understand that sometimes our minds register things that our conscious mind does not immediately pick up on, From what I have observed, the feeling of discomfort arises because our subconscious knows that we are not yet fully ready to accept new boundaries that are not yet in sync with our natural signals.

Here are some practical steps to help you identify and manage these feelings:

1. The ‘Grounding’ Technique (Connecting Yourself to the Present Moment)

When these unpleasant feelings arise, our minds are often stuck in the past or worrying about the future. Bring yourself back to the present moment using the 5-4-3-2-1 method:

 * Name 5 things you can see.

 * 4 sounds you can hear.

 * 3 textures or objects you can touch.

 * 2 smells you can smell.

 * 1 taste you can taste.

   This helps your nervous system shift out of ‘alert’ mode and return to a state of calm.

2. Uncensored Journaling

Write down whatever comes to mind, no matter how chaotic it may be. Don’t try to find logic or causes just yet.

 * Use phrases like: “Right now I feel…”, “Inside my body, this discomfort feels like… (e.g. tightness in the chest, a weight on my shoulders)”.

 * Sometimes, by putting your thoughts down on paper, hidden patterns will reveal themselves.

3. Body Scan

Emotions often manifest physically before we become cognitively aware of them.

 * Sit quietly and pay attention to your body from the tips of your toes to the top of your head.

 * Is there tension in your jaw, raised shoulders, or held-back breath?

 * Focus your breath on those tense areas. Often, that ‘unpleasant’ feeling is simply the body’s response to accumulated fatigue or stress.

4. Check Your Basic Needs (HALT)

Ask yourself if you are in a state of:

 * Hungry

 * Angry

 * Lonely

 * Tired

   As someone with an engineering background and busy with various projects, we sometimes overlook basic biological needs that can trigger drastic mood swings.

5. Accept, Don’t Fight

Often, these feelings intensify precisely because we worry about the worry itself (“Why do I feel this way? I must know the cause!”).

 * Try telling yourself: “Right now I’m feeling uncomfortable, and that’s okay. I don’t have to know the cause right away. I’ll let it be for a moment without judging it.”

   If these feelings persist for a long time or begin to interfere with your daily productivity, consider whether there are burdens of responsibility or expectations you are carrying in relation to the major goals you have set. Sometimes, our subconscious senses the pressure before our conscious mind has had a chance to process it.

Hopefuly this article can give you an insight how to improve your career in life.

People are more afraid of losing than not getting something

  Hi, today I would like to share about the interesting topic, namely "People are more afraid of losing than not getting something.", the main reason why I choose that topic because many people get that condition where it can make their happiness level is down, The phenomenon which happens is one of the most fundamental concepts in behavioural psychology and behavioural economics, known as Loss Aversion.

In short, humans are inherently more sensitive to potential losses than to potential gains, even when the values are equivalent. 

Here is an in-depth explanation of this from a psychological perspective:

1. Key Concept: Loss Aversion

This concept was popularised by psychologists Daniel Kahneman and Amos Tversky through Prospect Theory. Their findings show that, psychologically, the pain of losing something is felt twice as intensely as the pleasure derived from gaining something of equal value.

A simple example: Losing Rp100,000 will have a far more significant negative emotional impact on a person than the happiness felt if they suddenly found or received Rp100,000.

2. Why Does This Happen? (Evolutionary Basis)

Evolutionary psychology offers a compelling explanation for why this tendency is ingrained in humans:

 * Survival Strategy (Survival Instinct): For our ancestors, the loss of resources (such as food, shelter, or status within a group) could mean a direct threat to life. On the other hand, failing to gain something new usually does not threaten survival in the same way. Consequently, the human brain evolved to prioritise ‘avoiding threats/losses’ for the sake of survival.

 * Security vs. Growth: The human brain is biologically programmed to maintain security (homeostasis). Preserving what one already possesses is a safer course of action than taking risks to pursue something new.

3. Additional Psychological Aspects

In addition to evolutionary factors, there are several psychological mechanisms that reinforce this tendency:

 * The Endowment Effect: People tend to place a higher value on goods or status they already possess simply because they own them. Once something becomes part of ‘my possessions’, we feel a sense of loss if we have to let it go.

 * Reference Point: In Prospect Theory, our evaluation of outcomes (gains or losses) is not based on absolute value, but on the change from the current reference point. What we possess becomes that reference point; anything moving away from it is perceived as a decline in quality of life.

 * Uncertainty and Control: Acquiring something often involves effort and uncertainty, whereas retaining what we already have feels more within our control. Losing something is often seen as a ‘failure’ to maintain that control, triggering a greater stress or anxiety response.

4. Impact on Life

This understanding explains much of our behaviour:

 * In Business/Finance: Why investors often hold onto loss-making shares for too long (fearing to realise the loss) rather than selling them, even though selling might be the rational decision.

 * In Relationships: Why people find it hard to let go of unhealthy relationships; there is a fear of losing the comfort they already have, even though there is potential for happiness outside that relationship.

 * In Career Decisions: People are more likely to stay in unsatisfying jobs out of fear of losing financial stability (their current salary), rather than taking a risk on new opportunities that might be better.

Conclusion

The fear of loss is not merely a ‘lack of gratitude’ or pessimism, but a very powerful mental adaptation mechanism. Although this mechanism once helped our ancestors survive, in the complex modern world, this bias often hinders us from taking bold steps or making the changes necessary for growth, 

this is a natural cognitive bias can help us evaluate decisions more objectively—by asking: “Am I holding on to this because its value is genuinely high, or simply because I’m afraid of losing it?”

Why do some people reject the truth even though their brain doesn't deny it

   Hi, today I would like to share about the interesting topic, namely "Why do some people reject the truth even though their brain doesn't deny it?, the main reason why I choose that topic because many people's behavior tends to reject the truth rather than accept it, The phenomenon in which a person rejects the truth even when it is logically undeniable is a deeply complex topic in psychology. It is not about a lack of intelligence, but rather about how our brains protect our identity, comfort, and emotional stability.

Here are the main psychological explanations for why this happens:

1. Cognitive Dissonance

Introduced by Leon Festinger, this concept explains the mental discomfort a person experiences when they hold two conflicting beliefs, or when their behavior does not align with their values.

 * Reaction: When new facts (the truth) challenge deeply ingrained old beliefs, the brain experiences psychological “pain.” To alleviate this pain, a person tends to reject or distort the facts rather than having to change their worldview.

2. Identity Protective Cognition

For many people, beliefs are not merely data, but part of their identity. Believing in something (regarding politics, religion, or oneself) helps them feel like they belong to a specific social group.

 * Reaction: If the truth constitutes a "betrayal" of their group or identity, the brain processes the facts as a physical threat. Rejecting the truth becomes a self-defense mechanism to keep them "safe" within their social sphere.

3. Confirmation Bias

This is the natural human tendency to seek out, interpret, and remember information that only supports what they already believe.

 * Reaction: Facts that contradict initial assumptions are often ignored, dismissed as “bias from the opposing side,” or deemed invalid even when the evidence is strong.

4. Backfire Effect

This is a phenomenon where exposure to evidence that contradicts a person’s beliefs actually causes them to cling even more firmly to those beliefs.

 * Reaction: When someone feels intellectually attacked or forced to admit a mistake, their ego hardens. They build a stronger mental fortress to protect the views they already hold.

5. Psychological Safety

In psychotherapy practice, it is often found that harsh truths can trigger extreme anxiety. For some people, a comforting lie is far more “functional” than a truth that shatters the structure of their lives.

 * Reaction: They choose to live in controlled ignorance rather than face the uncertainty or shame that arises if they must admit they’ve been wrong all along.

Conclusion

Psychologically, the truth often loses out to emotional comfort. Logic operates in the prefrontal cortex (the brain’s rational area), while resistance to the truth often originates from the limbic system (the center of emotions and self-defense).

When emotions and identity feel threatened, the limbic system often “hijacks” our logical abilities. That is why, in communication, presenting data alone is not enough; a person must feel emotionally safe to be able to accept a reality that contradicts what they previously believed.

How to reduce boredom in a marriage relationship

    Hi, today I would like to share about the interesting topic, namely "How to reduce boredom in a marriage relationship", the main reason why I choose that topic because many couples try to separate from their commitment when they feel bored in their relationship status, Boredom within a marriage is a very human experience and it oftens serving as a transitional phase toward a deeper level of connection, provided it is handled correctly. Given your background as a psychotherapist, you certainly understand that this phase can be viewed as an opportunity for re-evaluation and reconnection.

 

Here are several approaches you can apply to refresh the dynamics of your relationship:

 

1. Initiating "Novelty" (New Experiences)

The human brain responds to new stimulation by releasing dopamine, which can help reignite feelings of enthusiasm.

 

- Shared Hobbies: Try activities that are completely new to both of you (such as taking a cooking class, learning a new sport, or engaging in creative projects). This ensures neither partner feels more dominant or like an "expert," placing you on equal footing as learners.

- Changing Micro-Routines: Sometimes, boredom stems from routines that are too rigid. Try altering small things, such as taking a different route home, changing where you eat lunch, or simply rearranging furniture to create a fresh atmosphere.

 

2. Deepening Communication

Boredom often arises because we feel we already "know everything" about our partner.

 

- Reflective Questions: Replace routine questions like "How was your day?" with more exploratory ones, such as "What has made you feel most alive this week?" or "Are there any dreams we used to talk about that have been put on hold?"

- Listening Sessions Without Solutions: Given your technical and analytical background, it is easy to fall into the trap of immediately offering solutions. Try occasionally being a passive listener who provides only emotional validation, creating a safe space for your partner.

 

3. Resetting Emotional "Check-ins"

 

- Intimacy Rituals: Schedule dedicated time, perhaps 15–20 minutes every evening without gadgets, to share your feelings or small achievements, rather than discussing household chores or logistics.

- Relationship Evaluation: Similar to the S.M.A.R.T. goal framework you are familiar with, conduct a monthly mini-audit of your relationship. Ask your partner: "What is one thing I could do this month to make you feel more supported?"

 

4. Creating Space (Individuality)

Paradoxically, to feel close again, you sometimes need to create a little distance.

 

- Personal Freedom: Encourage your partner to pursue their own interests or spend time with their own social circle. When each individual grows personally, they bring back new energy and perspectives when they reunite at home.

 

5. Appreciating "The Mundane"

In psychology, gratitude has been proven to shift one's perception of routine.

 

- Acknowledging Kindness: Make a conscious effort to seek out and express appreciation for the small things your partner does that are often taken for granted (such as making coffee or tidying up). Shifting your focus from what is missing to what is present often reduces feelings of monotony.

 

Boredom does not mean your relationship is unhealthy; more often than not, it is simply a sign that your relationship has settled into a comfort zone that has become too stable.

Human kindness is often given in the world in the form of uncertainty

     Hi, today, I would like to share about the interesting topic, namely "Human kindness is often given in the world in the form of uncertainty", the main reason why I choose that topic because many people expect what they do must be returned into profit, when they don't get what they expect, due to that question, some of them try to ask to themselves "Am I not good enough to receive more?" This question touches on the deepest aspects of human existence, from both philosophical and psychological perspectives, Below is a review of the concept of goodness and the phenomenon of selfless sincerity.

 

If we look objectively, the world does not always operate on a "input equals output" system in the short term. There are times when a person does good yet receives injustice in return. However, in psychology and sociology, there are concepts that explain how goodness works:

 

- Indirect Reciprocity: The person you help may not repay you directly, but your actions build a positive reputation that makes the surrounding social system more supportive overall.

- Character Domino Effect: Consistently doing good shapes a more resilient cognitive structure and personality. The "reward" in the world is often not material, but rather inner peace, better mental health, and life satisfaction.

 

Psychological Perspectives on Selflessness (Altruism)

 

In psychology, behavior that helps others without expecting external rewards is called Pure Altruism. Here are several psychological perspectives on such individuals:

 

1. Intrinsic Motivation and Autonomy

People who do not expect rewards typically have strong intrinsic motivation. They act because the action itself is deemed valuable, not due to social pressure or incentives. In Self-Determination Theory, this is the highest form of autonomy, where happiness stems from alignment between one’s actions and personal values.

2. Helper’s High

Biologically, when a person does good, the brain releases endorphins and dopamine. This phenomenon is called the Helper’s High. Psychology suggests that those who do not expect external rewards actually receive an "internal reward" in the form of relief and happiness that significantly reduces stress levels.

3. Ego Maturity

From psychoanalytic or developmental psychology perspectives, the ability to give without demanding anything in return is a sign of stable ego maturity. Such individuals no longer feel "lacking" or "thirsty for recognition," so they give from a place of inner fullness (acting from abundance).

4. Meaning-making

Existential psychology views helping others as one way humans create meaning in a life that often feels chaotic. By being useful to others, a person gains a sense of purpose, which is a core pillar of mental health.

 

An Aspect to Consider: Compassion Fatigue 

While selfless helping is noble, psychology also warns of the importance of setting boundaries. A person who continuously gives without considering their own capacity risks experiencing:

 

- Emotional Burnout: Exhaustion from constant outflow of psychological energy without replenishment.

- Messiah Complex: A belief that they must save everyone, which can become an unhealthy psychological burden.

 

Conclusion:

In psychology, not expecting rewards does not mean receiving nothing in return. Instead, it indicates excellent mental health, where a person’s happiness is no longer dependent on the reactions of the external world but on their own integrity. Good deeds may not always return in the same form, but they will "come back" as peace of mind for the doer.

Does man have the power to claim his efforts if God does in reality

 Hi, today I would like to share about the interesting topic, namely "  Does man have the power to claim his efforts if God does in reality?", The reason I choose this topic is because many people feel proud of what they do and quickly feel desperate easily if what they do does not meet expectations. If we learn about the concept of religious determinism (destiny) and human agency (effort), In fact, humans are only God's tools, while the power of intention to do it comes from humans themselves, when human believe what they do comes from what they effort, at that condition human will lose its power because human deliberately take an authority from God's will, I don't recommend if I were you because this kind of responsibility is truly hard, my question is "how can human take authority from God to claim what they do is 100% belong to theirs?"...so I will answer that question, human only have authority around 20% whereas the end results 80% comes from destiny, it's Pareto law, now we talk about In psychology, the main focus is not on the theological truth of such destiny, but rather on how beliefs about destiny or effort that can influence human mental health and behavior.

 

Here are several psychological perspectives to analyze this phenomenon:

 

1. Locus of Control

Psychologist Julian Rotter introduced the concept of Locus of Control to explain where a person feels the control over their life comes from:

 

- Internal: The belief that life outcomes are determined by one's own decisions and efforts.

- External: The belief that life is determined by external forces (fate, luck, or destiny).

 

Psychologically, claiming effort outcomes as "one's own" (internal) builds self-efficacy (belief in one's abilities). However, if taken to an extreme, this can trigger severe stress or depression when facing failure, as a person will blame themselves entirely.

 

2. Psychological Effects of "Surrender"

In positive psychology, the view that the final outcome is in God's hands (destiny) serves as a very strong coping mechanism:

 

- Emotional Regulation: When a person has done their utmost but the result is not as expected, attributing it to destiny prevents the collapse of self-esteem. It acts as a "safety valve" so that humans do not feel existentially failed.

- Acceptance: Understanding that there are variables beyond human control (such as the global economy, weather, or other people's decisions) helps a person maintain mental stability.

 

3. Tension Between Process and Outcome

Modern psychology, such as Carol Dweck's Growth Mindset theory, suggests that humans should claim the process, not just the outcome.

 

- Claiming Effort: Humans have the right (and psychological need) to claim their hard work, discipline, and perseverance. This is a controllable area.

- Letting Go of Outcomes: Letting go of claims over the final outcome (outcome = destiny) actually frees humans from excessive anxiety (performance anxiety).

 

4. Self-Serving Bias

There is a cognitive tendency where humans tend to claim success as the result of their own hard work, but attribute failure to "destiny" or "bad luck".

 

Psychologically, healthy integration means acknowledging the role of effort in achieving success (for motivation), while still maintaining humility that there are external factors (destiny) that enable those efforts to bear fruit.

 

Conclusion

From a psychological perspective, humans need to claim their efforts to maintain motivation and personal responsibility. However, letting go of claims over the final outcome to destiny is a very healthy way to maintain mental health, avoid arrogance when successful, and prevent despair when failing.

How to find meaning in Victor Frank L's logotherapy theory

  Hi, today I would like to share about the interesting topic, namely "How to find meaning in Victor Frank L's logotherapy theory", the main reason why I choose that topic because many people can't get a good insight from reality that they engaged with, based on what I observed, people who only pursue their wants, they must be ready to get suffering from their wants, In this modern era, there are many mental trainings at seminars to educate the public, In the event, there was a lot of training aimed at changing mindsets and habits, but not all participants could find meaning because it takes longer time, some events try to apply Viktor Frankl's theory and educate all the participants how to make exit strategy from what they suffer, Searching for meaning does require difficulty so that humans can reach a more valuable level of awareness, Victor said "the meaning already exists out there; we just need to find it", by taking Viktor Frankl with his Logotherapy at seminar, hopefully the participants can focuse on finding meaning through suffering, work, and love, for your information, besides Victor Frankl's perception about the meaning of life purpose, there are other psychology figures who offer different perspectives on how humans find purpose in their lives.

 

Here are some other major perspectives: 

1. Abraham Maslow: Self-Actualization and Peak Experiences

For Maslow, life meaning is not only found through suffering but also through the fulfillment of one’s full potential.

 

- Self-Actualization: Meaning exists when a person becomes the best version of themselves.

- Peak Experiences: Extraordinary moments such as being immersed in artistic beauty, achieving great success, or feeling connected with nature. These moments provide a sense of meaningful "being."

 

2. Irvin Yalom: Four Existential Concerns

Yalom takes a slightly different approach. He argues that humans must confront four harsh facts of life to find authentic meaning:

 

- Death, Freedom, Isolation, and Meaninglessness.

- According to Yalom, life essentially has no pre-determined meaning structure. We are the ones who must create meaning ourselves through active engagement in life (altruism, creativity, or dedication to an idea).

 

3. Carl Rogers: The Good Life (Fully Functioning Life)

As a humanist figure, Rogers views life meaning not as an end goal but as a process.

 

- Meaning is found when a person lives in alignment with their inner experiences (congruence).

- Fully functioning people are those who are open to new experiences, live in the present moment (presence), and trust their own instincts and decisions.

 

4. Alfred Adler: Social Interest

Adler argues that true life meaning is always social in nature.

 

- Lifestyle: Each person has a "fictional final goal" they strive for.

- Contribution: Meaning is found when a person feels useful to their community. Without a sense of connection to others, humans will experience feelings of inferiority that make life feel empty.

 

5. Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi: The Concept of Flow

From a Positive Psychology perspective, meaning is often found in activities that make us lose track of time.

 

- Total Engagement: When you do something challenging yet matched to your skills, you enter a flow state.

- A sense of meaning emerges from deep satisfaction when we are fully engaged in productive work or a hobby.

 

Figure Primary Source of Meaning Core Perspective 

Viktor Frankl -> Discovery, Meaning already exists out there; we just need to find it. 

Irvin Yalom -> Creation, Life is empty; we must paint meaning into it. 

Alfred Adler -> Contribution, Meaning is how much we benefit others. 

Abraham Maslow -> Growth, Meaning is becoming the best version of yourself. 

 

What makes a man not respond when introduced to a woman

  Hi, today I would like to share about the interesting topic, namely"What makes a man not respond when introduced to a woman?, the main reason why I choose that topic because many adults don't really know what makes them not interested with the woman during introduction, "It's really interesting to discuss the dynamics of this kind of "introduction". In fact, when a man doesn't respond or follow up on an introduction, the reason is far more complex than just "she's not pretty" or "she has a bad personality".

 

More often than not, the issue isn't with the woman, but with the situation or the man's own readiness. Here are some common reasons that usually happen behind the scenes:

 

1. Mental or Emotional Unreadiness

This is the most common yet often unseen reason.

 

- Not yet moved on: He may still be preoccupied with the past or has recently gone through a significant heartbreak.

- Focused on Other Priorities: Men often have a "single focus". If he's pursuing a career, exams, or dealing with family issues, the space in his mind for romance may be full.

 

2. Pressure from "Matchmakers"

Sometimes, being introduced by friends or family creates its own kind of pressure.

 

- Social Expectations: There's a sense of discomfort in having to "report" progress to the person who made the introduction.

- Feeling Forced: Some men prefer to pursue or meet someone organically rather than feeling "fed" into a matchmaking arrangement.

 

3. Very Specific "Click" Criteria

Beauty is relative, and so is an appealing personality.

 

- Not His Type: Every man has specific preferences (e.g., shared hobbies, taste in music, or lifestyle). Someone can be objectively very beautiful, but if there's no specific "spark" of interest for that man, he may not respond.

- Difference in Energy: If the woman seems very serious about getting married while the man still wants to take things easy (or vice versa), he may step back before even trying.

 

4. Insecurity

Believe it or not, men can also feel intimidated.

 

- Too Outstanding: If the woman appears very successful, very beautiful, or very independent, a man who feels he's "not yet established" may feel insecure and choose not to respond rather than risk rejection later.

 

Myth: "It must be because I'm not pretty"

Let's set this straight: Physical appearance is indeed an entry point, but it's not the determinant of a response. If a man doesn't respond, it's rarely because he thinks the woman is "ugly". More often, it's because he feels there's no alignment in vision or energy from the start, or he simply isn't in a position to start a relationship.

 

Important Note: Someone's silence is not always a judgment of your worth. It is often a reflection of their capacity to accept someone new at that moment.

Do humans really have the freedom to choose something for their future

  Hi, today I would like to share about the interesting topic, namely "Do humans really have the freedom to choose something for their future?, This line of thinking touches on the core of human existence: between fate, free will, and maturing suffering. In psychology, the concept of freedom is not merely 'doing whatever one wants,' but rather the ability to respond to stimuli consciously.

Below is an analysis of psychological perspectives on the freedom to choose and the importance of pushing past boundaries:

 

1. When Do Humans Have the Freedom to Choose?

In psychology, free will is often viewed as a spectrum that develops alongside cognitive and emotional maturity.

 

- The Gap Between Stimulus and Response: Viktor Frankl, a psychiatrist and Holocaust survivor, stated that between stimulus (what happens to us) and response (what we do) there exists a space. Our freedom lies within that space.

- Cognitive Development: Biologically, mature decision-making ability emerges when the prefrontal cortex (the brain’s region for logic and self-control) is fully developed, typically in early adulthood (around the early 20s). Before this, our choices are often dominated by impulses or environmental influences.

- Individuation: According to Carl Jung, true freedom emerges when a person goes through the process of individuation—meaning when they begin to recognize their dark side (the shadow) and shed their social mask (the persona) to become their authentic self.

 

2. Why Must We Push Past Boundaries?

Boundaries often feel restrictive, but in psychology, they are the "fuel" for growth. Without obstacles, there is no evolution.

 

The Concept of "Post-Traumatic Growth" (PTG)

Humans often reach new levels of consciousness precisely after being struck by painful limitations or great crises. Psychology refers to this as PTG. Boundaries force us to dismantle outdated old structures and build a more resilient self.

 

Boundaries as the "Zone of Proximal Development" (ZPD)

 

Lev Vygotsky explained that growth occurs when we operate just outside our comfort zone—on the edge of our current capabilities. If we remain within boundaries without ever attempting to cross them, our cognitive and mental abilities will atrophy (deteriorate).

 

3. Psychological Schools of Thought on Freedom

Psychological School Perspective on Freedom 

Existentialism Humans are "condemned to be free." We bear full responsibility for the meaning of our own lives through our choices. 

Humanistic Humans have an innate drive toward self-actualization. Freedom is a tool to achieve one’s highest potential. 

Behaviorism Tends to be skeptical. Human choices are often seen as the result of environmental conditioning and a history of reinforcement (rewards/punishments). 

Psychoanalysis Freedom is often hindered by unconscious conflicts. Therapy aims to free patients from the "prison" of the past so they can choose consciously. 

Psychological School Perspective on Freedom

Existentialism Humans are "condemned to be free." We bear full responsibility for the meaning of our own lives through our choices.

Humanistic Humans have an innate drive toward self-actualization. Freedom is a tool to achieve one’s highest potential.

Behaviorism Tends to be skeptical. Human choices are often seen as the result of environmental conditioning and a history of reinforcement (rewards/punishments).

Psychoanalysis Freedom is often hindered by unconscious conflicts. Therapy aims to free patients from the "prison" of the past so they can choose consciously.

 

Conclusion: Boundaries Are a Compass

Humans should not only be allowed to push past boundaries—they must. In psychology, pushing past boundaries—whether mental (fear), social (others’ expectations), or physical—is a process called transcendence.

Without boundaries, freedom becomes empty. The most meaningful freedom is the freedom to choose how we respond to boundaries we cannot change.

"When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves." — Viktor Frankl

 

What does success look like beyond money

Hi, today I would like to share about the interesting topic, namely "what does success look like beyond money", the main reason why I choose that topic because many people pursue money with all their ability without considering other meaningful purpose, The question "What does success look like beyond money?" essentially invites us to redefine the meaning of "success" beyond the numbers in a bank balance. The statement asks: "If money were no longer the benchmark, what would prove that your life is successful?"

 

From a psychological perspective, this shift in perspective is very healthy because pursuing material wealth excessively often leads to the "hedonic treadmill"—a condition where we keep achieving new targets but our level of happiness remains the same.

 

Psychological Perspective: More Meaningful Success

 

Modern psychology offers several frameworks for viewing success from a non-financial standpoint:

 

1. Self-Determination Theory

According to Ryan & Deci, humans will feel deeply successful and satisfied if they fulfill three basic needs:

 

- Autonomy: Feeling in control of one’s own life choices.

- Competence: Feeling skilled or proficient at doing challenging things.

- Relatedness: Having quality relationships and feeling loved by others.

 

2. Eudaimonic Well-being

Psychology distinguishes between Hedonic (seeking immediate pleasure) and Eudaimonic (seeking meaning) well-being. Success beyond money is often seen as:

 

- Personal Growth: Continuously learning and becoming a better version of oneself.

- Life Purpose: Feeling that what you do contributes to others or the world.

 

3. The Concept of "Flow"

Psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi argues that success occurs when a person frequently experiences Flow—a state where you are so immersed in an activity you love that you lose track of time.

 

Non-Material Success Indicators (Psychological Checklist)

 

Here are some aspects considered "success" from the lens of positive psychology:

 

Dimension Definition of Success Beyond Money 

Mental Health -> The ability to stay calm under pressure and maintain stable self-esteem. 

Time Affluence -> Having the freedom to dedicate time to hobbies, rest, and family without guilt. 

Resilience ->  The ability to bounce back after experiencing failure or trauma. 

Physical Health -> A fit body and sufficient energy to face each day with enthusiasm. 

Integrity Living in alignment with the moral values you believe in, even when no one is watching. 

 

"True success is not about what you accumulate, but about who you become (character) and how you impact others."

 

In essence, the question invites us to move from "success by standard" (what others/society say) to "success by design" (what makes your soul feel complete)."

Hopefully this article can give you an insight and a help to improve your life, good luck.

What causes other people to feel uncomfortable when they get closer with someone who is not doing anything

Hi, good day, today I would like to share about the interesting topik, namely "What causes other people to feel uncomfortable when they get closer with someone who is not doing anything? It must feel exhausting and isolating when you believe you’ve done everything right, yet your surroundings react the opposite way. This sense of "doing nothing wrong" often clashes with unwritten social dynamics.

 

In psychology, there are several perspectives to analyze this phenomenon—not to blame you, but to provide new insights.

 

1. Differences Between Self-Perception and Social Perception

 

Humans often have "blind spots" in their behavior. Psychology recognizes the Johari Window concept, which includes a "Blind Area"—aspects of ourselves that others know but we are unaware of.

 

- Non-verbal cues: Sometimes it’s not what you say, but how you say it. A flat facial expression, monotonous tone of voice, or overly intense/lack of eye contact can subconsciously make people feel threatened.

- Projected energy: If you feel anxious or insecure internally, others can often "pick up" on that tension and respond by also feeling uncomfortable (the emotional contagion effect).

 

2. Unintentional Violations of Social Boundaries

 

Even without making serious mistakes, small behaviors can trigger discomfort:

 

- Personal Space: Do you stand too close to others?

- Intensity: Are you overly intense when speaking, or too withdrawn to the point where people feel they have to "walk on eggshells" around you?

- Contextual Appropriateness: Sometimes being "too correct" or rigid in casual situations can make people feel indirectly judged.

 

3. The Phenomenon of Projection

 

There’s a possibility that the issue lies not with you, but with them.

 

- Mirror to Themselves: Sometimes someone’s presence reminds others of their own shortcomings. If you are highly disciplined or honest, those who are less so might feel uncomfortable because your presence serves as a "reminder" of their perceived failures.

- Stereotypes or Prejudices: Humans tend to categorize people based on first impressions, which are often unfair.

 

4. Social Anxiety and Cognitive Bias

 

If you have a tendency toward social anxiety, you may experience the Spotlight Effect. This is a cognitive bias where we feel others are closely watching and judging us, when in reality they are likely preoccupied with their own thoughts. You might interpret others’ tired or confused expressions as a sign of being "uncomfortable" with you.

 

What Can Be Done?

 

Step Explanation 

Ask for Feedback Talk to someone you trust most: "I feel like people often seem uncomfortable around me—are there aspects of my demeanor I need to work on?" 

Self-Observation Pay attention to your body language. Do you often cross your arms? Do you smile when greeting others? 

Focus on Others Shift your focus from "How are they seeing me?" to "How can I help them feel at ease?" 

 

It’s important to remember that you are not responsible for everyone else’s emotions. However, understanding these dynamics can help you navigate social interactions more smoothly.

Hopefully this article can give you an insight and also can improve your life, good luck.

The effects of functional fixation on human thinking ability

  Hi, today I would like to share about the interesting topic, namely "The effects of functional fixation on human thinking ability", the main reason why I choose that topic because many people get frustrated when they try to know more about their brain potential, let we talk about Functional Fixedness. In cognitive psychology, it is a mental block that causes a person to only perceive an object according to its traditional or primary function.

 

Simply put: If you see a hammer only as a tool for driving nails, and it never occurs to you that it can be used as a paperweight or a doorstop, you are experiencing functional fixedness.

 

Psychological Perspective on Functional Fixedness

 

Psychology views this phenomenon as a form of cognitive bias that hinders creative problem-solving. Here are the key points:

 

- Creativity Barrier: This phenomenon was first studied by Karl Duncker. He found that people often fail to solve simple problems because they are too fixated on an object's common use.

- Past Learning: Psychology suggests that this is a side effect of experience. The more frequently we use an object for a specific function, the harder it becomes for our brain to imagine other uses.

- "Einstellung" Effect: This is the brain's tendency to use solutions that have proven successful in the past (mental schemas), even when a more efficient new method exists.

 

Classic Example: Duncker's Candle Experiment

 

In Karl Duncker's famous experiment, participants were given a candle, a box of thumbtacks, and a lighter. They were asked to attach the candle to a wall so that wax would not drip onto the table below.

 

- Failure: Many tried to tack the candle directly to the wall.

- Solution: Empty the thumbtack box, tack the box to the wall as a platform, then place the candle on top of it.

- The Problem: Participants who saw the box containing thumbtacks experienced functional fixedness—they only saw the box as a "container," not as a "building material."

 

How to Overcome It

 

Psychologists recommend several techniques to break this mental rigidity:

 

- Generic Feature Analysis: Try describing an object without naming it. For example, instead of saying "fork," say "a metal object with sharp prongs." This helps the brain see other potential uses.

- Think "Out of the Box": Consciously ask yourself, "What else can this object do if its current function is unavailable?"

I think the explanation is enough, hopefully this article can give you an insight and improve your life, good luck.

Applying DBT techniques in daily activities:

Hi, today I would like to share about the interesting topic, namely "Applying DBT techniques in daily activities", the main reason why I choose that Topic because not everyone can apply DBT, Apart from that, you need guidance provided by professionals, Here are examples of applying DBT techniques in daily activities:

 

1. Mindfulness (Present-Moment Awareness) 

- When eating: Instead of eating while looking at your phone or thinking about work, focus on the taste, texture, and aroma of the food. Notice how your mouth and stomach respond to each bite. This helps reduce emotional eating and improves body awareness.

- When stuck in traffic: Instead of feeling angry, focus on physical sensations (heartbeat, breathing), or observe your surroundings without judgment. Say to yourself, "I am in the car, and the traffic is heavy. This is uncomfortable, but I can get through it."

 

2. Emotion Regulation

- When feeling angry due to someone’s comment:

1. Recognize the emotion: Acknowledge, "I feel angry and hurt."

2. Do not act impulsively: Take several deep breaths or step away to a quiet place for a moment.

3. Change your thought pattern: Instead of thinking, "They intentionally hurt me," try thinking, "Maybe they’re having a bad day, or I misunderstood their meaning."

4. Do calming activities: Drink water, listen to soothing music, or write down your feelings in a journal.

 

3. Distress Tolerance 

- When facing a stressful work deadline:

- Use the "Survival Only Goal" technique: Say, "I don’t need to finish everything perfectly right now; I just need to do my best and get through this first."

- Do brief physical relaxation techniques, such as pressing your hands against the table for 5 seconds then releasing them, or doing diaphragmatic breathing for 1 minute.

- Avoid avoiding problems in unhealthy ways (e.g., overeating or drinking alcohol), and focus on small steps you can take right now.

 

4. Interpersonal Effectiveness

- When wanting to ask a friend for help:

- Use the "DESC" technique:

- Describe: "You know I’ve been working on this college project for the past week."

- Express: "I feel really tired and a bit stressed because there are some parts I don’t understand."

- Specify: "Do you have about 30 minutes tomorrow afternoon to help me understand the calculation section?"

- Consequences: "If you can help, I’ll feel much calmer and be able to finish the project on time. If not, I’ll ask my lecturer for help instead."

Can smoking provide energy to the human body?

  Hi, today I would like to share about the interesting topic, namely "Can smoking provide energy to the human body?", the reason why I choose that topic because some people consider smoking can provide energy to their body, "It is fascinating to see how suggestion can influence the body. If someone feels energized after smoking, the psychological explanation actually involves a mix of pharmacological effects and psychological aspects, but leans more toward the Placebo effect (positive outcomes from a neutral/unrelated substance).

 

Here is a thorough breakdown from psychological and neuroscience perspectives:

 

1. Placebo vs. Nocebo

By definition, this phenomenon falls under the category of the Placebo Effect.

 

- Placebo: Positive effects (feeling energized) arise due to the user’s belief, even though the substance does not actually provide metabolic energy.

- Nocebo: Conversely, this refers to negative effects (such as feeling dizzy or nauseous) that emerge due to negative expectations.

 

2. Psychological Perspective: Why Do People Feel "Energized"?

Psychology views this not as mere imagination, but as a result of the following mechanisms:

 

- Nicotine’s Stimulant Effect: Chemically, nicotine is indeed a mild stimulant. It triggers the release of adrenaline and glucose into the bloodstream. However, this "energy" is illusory and short-lived. People often mistakenly interpret a rapid heartbeat as "extra energy."

- Classical Conditioning: If someone is accustomed to smoking before working, the brain associates the smoking ritual with "time to focus." Once smoke is inhaled, the brain automatically shifts into work mode.

- Withdrawal Symptom Management: For regular smokers, feelings of fatigue are actually symptoms of nicotine deficiency. Smoking only restores them to a "normal" state. Thus, they are not gaining additional energy—they are simply stopping the feeling of being tired.

 

3. The Role of Expectations and Culture

Cognitive psychology emphasizes the Expectancy Theory. If social or cultural environments instill the narrative that "tobacco is a source of inspiration/strength," individuals will experience confirmation bias. They will ignore feelings of tiredness and only focus on the sense of being "ready to take action" after smoking.

 

Comparison: Real Energy vs. "Tobacco" Energy

 

Aspect True Energy (Food/Rest) "Tobacco" Energy (Psychological/Stimulant) 

Source Calories & ATP Adrenaline & Dopamine 

Impact Restores body cells Borrows future energy (leads to greater fatigue later) 

Nature Sustainable Fluctuating (rises quickly, drops quickly) 

 

In conclusion: The "energizing" effect is a placebo reinforced by short-term chemical stimulation. The brain manipulates the body’s perception to make it feel ready for activity, even though biologically, smoking actually increases the heart’s workload and reduces oxygen levels in the blood.

"

How to overcome eating disorders from a psychological perspective

 

  Hi, today I would like to share about the interesting topic, namely "How to overcome eating disorders from a psychological perspective", In psychology, Eating Disorders or, in the context of digital behavior, it may refer to an obsession with external validation (such as scores), This symptom appears when someone has a sensitive assessment of the food they are consuming, In addition, prolonged stress can disrupt eating schedules.

 

Here are the management steps from a psychological perspective: 

1. Professional Therapy Approaches

 Psychotherapy is the frontline treatment for these disorders. Several evidence-based methods include: 

- Cognitive Behavioral Therapy - Enhanced (CBT-E): This is the gold standard. It focuses on changing distorted thought patterns about body image, weight, and food, as well as improving unhealthy eating behaviors.

- Family-Based Treatment (FBT): Highly effective for adolescents. Families are actively involved to help monitor eating patterns and provide emotional support at home.

- Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT): Helps patients manage intense emotions and develop stress tolerance without using food as an escape mechanism.

 

2. Nutritional and Medical Management

Psychology does not work in isolation in this matter. Collaboration with other specialists is required:

 

- Nutritional Counseling: Work with a dietitian to rebuild a healthy relationship with food and understand the body’s energy needs.

- Medical Monitoring: Ensure that bodily organ functions remain stable, as eating disorders often have adverse effects on the heart and digestive system.

 

3. Self-Help Recovery Strategies

Small steps that can be taken to support the therapy process:

 

- Identify Triggers: Keep track of which situations or feelings typically trigger disordered eating behaviors (e.g., stress, loneliness, or viewing social media content).

- Mindful Eating: Learn to intuitively listen to the body’s hunger and fullness signals, rather than following self-imposed strict rules.

- Social Media Detox: Avoid content that promotes unrealistic beauty standards or excessive diet culture.

 

Role of Loved Ones

 

If you want to help someone with this condition:

 

- Listen without judgment: Avoid commenting on their physical appearance, even if your intention is to compliment them.

- Focus on feelings, not food: Instead of asking "Why aren’t you eating?", it’s better to ask "How are you feeling today?"

- Encourage consultation: Urge them to see a psychologist or psychiatrist as soon as possible.

 

Important Note: Eating disorders are serious medical conditions with a high mortality rate if left untreated. Self-diagnosis is strongly discouraged.

What makes someone feel left behind in working hard

  Hi, today I would like to share about the interesting topic, namely "What makes someone feels left behind in working hard", the reason why I choose that topic because many adults feel left behind when they must compete with young people or young generation, I don't mean to compare between the younger generation and the older generation,  In reality itself there are no competitors, there is only continuous change, the real competitor is who we were yesterday, based on Psychological view, The feeling of "being late to work hard" is a common experience and can be understood through several psychological perspectives:

 

1. Cognitive Factors: Thought Patterns and Perception of Time

 

- Views on "ideal timing": Many people hold social or personal standards about when they should start working hard (e.g., "must succeed before the age of 30"). This perception is often influenced by culture, media, or other people’s success stories, which make them feel left behind.

- Self-blaming cognitive thoughts: Thoughts such as "I have wasted my time" or "others are already more advanced" can reinforce the feeling of being late and make it difficult to start.

- Mistakes in assessing progress: We often focus on others’ end results without looking at their journey or the challenges they faced, leading to an unfair sense of being left behind.

 

2. Emotional and Motivational Factors

 

- Fear of failure: The fear that efforts made now will not be enough to catch up can make a person hesitant to start, thus prolonging the feeling of being late.

- Fatigue or depression: Emotional conditions like chronic fatigue or depression can reduce energy and motivation to work hard, making time feel like it passes without perceived progress.

- Lack of goal clarity: Without clear goals, a person may struggle to find reasons to work hard and feel that time already spent has been wasted.

 

3. Past Experience Factors

 

- Past obstacles or difficulties: Experiences such as limited access to opportunities, family problems, or personal challenges that hindered development can make a person feel they have fallen behind their peers.

- Upbringing or educational patterns: If a person was not taught the importance of discipline and hard work in the past, or was even prevented from developing their potential, they may feel late when they begin to realize its importance.

 

4. Social and Cultural Factors

 

- Social pressure: Demands from family, friends, or society regarding achievement and success by a certain age can make a person feel they have exceeded the "allowed" time limit to work hard.

- Comparison with others: Cultures that prioritize competition and comparison often make people feel left behind, even if their own progress is actually good enough.

 

Positive Psychological Perspective

 

Psychology also emphasizes that there is no absolute time limit for starting to work hard. The concept of "brain plasticity" shows that our brains can still learn and develop throughout life. Additionally, each person has a different developmental rhythm—some find their direction and drive to work hard early on, while others discover it later in life after going through various life experiences.

 

The feeling of being late can also be a positive trigger if managed well, as it can increase awareness of the importance of time and provide motivation to take action now, hopefully this article can give you an insight, good luck.

What factors make people easily deceived

  Hi, today I would like to share about the interesting topic, namely "What factors make people easily deceived?", the main reason why I choose that topic because many people are easily got deceived once they want to get pleasure or benefits at the first time,

The phenomenon of why people are easily deceived is a major topic in social and cognitive psychology. Psychologically, deception is not just about the "foolishness" of the victim, but rather the exploitation of gaps in how the human brain works. Here are some psychological reasons why humans are highly vulnerable to deception:

 

1. "Fast" vs "Slow" Thinking Systems

 

Psychologist Daniel Kahneman explains that our brain has two thinking systems:

 

- System 1 (Fast Thinking): Automatic, emotional, and uses shortcuts (heuristics).

- System 2 (Slow Thinking): Logical, analytical, and requires a lot of energy.

 

Scammers typically create situations (such as emergencies or limited offers) that force us to use System 1. When we feel rushed or overly excited, the logical System 2 often "shuts down" or fails to process information properly.

 

2. Cognitive Biases (Distortions in Thinking Patterns)

 

There are several biases that cause us to "turn a blind eye" to irregularities:

 

- Optimism Bias: The belief that "bad things won’t happen to me." This makes people feel safe when clicking suspicious links or investing in fraudulent schemes.

- Confirmation Bias: We tend to only seek out information that supports what we want to believe. If someone is desperate to get rich, they will only look at success testimonials and ignore signs of deception.

- The Halo Effect: If someone appears authoritative, attractive, or uses religious/wealth attributes, we automatically assume they are honest without verifying the facts.

 

3. Principles of Persuasion (Robert Cialdini)

 

Psychologist Robert Cialdini identified several social triggers that are often misused by scammers:

 

- Authority: Humans tend to obey figures who appear to be experts or in positions of power (e.g., scammers claiming to be from the police or a bank).

- Scarcity: "Only 5 minutes left!" or "Only for the first 10 people!" This pressure creates a fear of missing out (FOMO).

- Social Proof: Seeing other people (or fake accounts) participating makes us feel the action is safe and correct.

 

4. Emotional Manipulation (Emotional Arousal)

 

When emotions run high—whether fear (threat of account blocking) or greed (billion-dollar prizes)—our cognitive ability drops drastically. Scammers use social engineering techniques to put victims in a heightened emotional state so they cannot think clearly.

 

5. Basic Trust (Truth Default Theory)

 

Psychologist Timothy Levine proposes the theory that humans naturally have a "factory setting" to trust others. If we did not have this basic trust, society could not function as we would be constantly suspicious of one another. Scammers exploit this well-intentioned evolutionary tendency.

 

Simple Ways to Avoid Being Deceived:

 

- Use the "10-Second Pause": When receiving an offer or threat, pause briefly to activate your System 2.

- Verify Independently: Do not use contact information provided by the person reaching out to you; find official contact details on your own.

- Be Wary of High Emotions: If you suddenly feel extremely scared or overjoyed, it is a warning sign that your logic is being compromised.

How to deal with an inner child which was hurt in the past

   Hi, today I would like to share about the interesting topic, namely "How to deal with an inner child which was hurt in the past", the main reason why I choose that topic because not everyone can deal the hurt inner child, "In psychology, the inner child is viewed as a part of a person's personality that retains characteristics, memories, and emotions from childhood—both positive and negative. When this inner child is wounded by trauma, neglect, or unhealthy parenting, it continues to "live" within the adult and influences the way we act today.

 

Below are psychological perspectives and ways to address these wounds:

 

Psychological Perspectives on the Wounded Inner Child 

Psychology sees these wounds not merely as memories, but as trapped nervous system responses. Some of their impacts on adults include:

 

- Overreaction: Feeling extremely angry or sad over small issues because they trigger old memories.

- Poor Relationship Patterns: For example, fear of abandonment leading to excessive dependence, or conversely, being very closed off.

- Harsh Self-Criticism: Having an inner voice that always blames oneself—often an internalization of criticism from parents or the environment in the past.

- Coping Mechanisms: The emergence of destructive behaviors such as excessive perfectionism, difficulty saying "no," or escaping into unhealthy things.

 

Ways to Address the Wounded Inner Child

 

In psychotherapy, the healing process is usually carried out through the following techniques:

 

1. Reparenting (Being a Parent to Yourself)

This is the most popular method. You learn to give yourself now what you did not receive in the past.

 

- Validation: Telling yourself, "It's okay to feel sad; what happened back then was indeed painful."

- Protection: Learning to set boundaries to avoid being hurt by the same patterns again.

 

2. Dialogue and Letter-Writing

Try writing a letter from your adult self to your childhood self.

 

- Example: Write that you are safe now, and that you will take care of that "little one." Conversely, try writing down what the child feels using your non-dominant hand to access the emotional part of the brain.

 

3. Visualization and Meditation

Imagine meeting your younger self from the past. Hug them, listen to their story, and say the things they wanted to hear back then (such as "You are valuable" or "This is not your fault").

4. Expressive Therapy

Sometimes words are not enough. Using art therapy (drawing) or play therapy can help release repressed emotions without having to explain them logically.

5. Professional Help

If the wound stems from severe trauma (violence or abuse), it is highly recommended to see a psychologist. They may use methods such as:

 

- CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy): Changing negative thought patterns.

- EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing): Helping process traumatic memories so they no longer feel painful.

 

Healing the inner child is a journey, not an instant destination. This process helps you live more peacefully in the present without being constantly driven by the pain of the past."

Signs of childhood trauma in adults

   Hi, today I would like to share the interesting topic, namely "Signs of childhood trauma in adults", the main reason why I choose that topic because not many people can detect it, Signs of childhood trauma in adults can appear in various forms, whether emotionally, behaviorally, cognitively, or physically. Childhood trauma occurs when a child experiences a frightening event, causes uncontrollable fear, or makes them feel unsafe without adequate support. Its effects can be long-lasting and affect how a person interacts with the world, themselves, and others as an adult. Below is a more detailed explanation of the signs:

 

Emotional Signs

- Excessive worry and anxiety: Often feeling anxious for no clear reason, experiencing severe social anxiety, or having panic attacks. Childhood trauma can make the brain accustomed to dangerous situations, so it stays in "alert" mode even when there is no real threat.

- Depression and hopelessness: Often feeling sad, helpless, or having no hope for the future. Some people also experience a sense of emptiness or lack of a clear identity.

- Difficulty managing emotions: Easily angered, offended, or crying for no clear reason. Sometimes also experiencing "emotional numbing," where it is hard to feel happiness or affection.

- Excessive guilt and shame: Always feeling at fault even when doing nothing wrong, or being ashamed of themselves and their past. Trauma can make a person feel that they are to blame for the events that happened to them.

- Difficulty trusting others: Hard to build deep relationships and trust others, because of fear of being betrayed, hurt, or neglected like what happened in childhood.

 

Behavioral Signs

- Difficulty in relationships: Often experiencing problems in romantic, friendship, or family relationships — for example, being too dependent, too distant, or always looking for conflict. Some people also tend to withdraw from social activities and live alone.

- Self-harm behavior: Engaging in behavior that is dangerous to oneself, such as hitting oneself, cutting oneself, or taking unnecessary risks. This can be a way to cope with painful feelings that cannot be expressed.

- Addiction: Trapped in addiction to alcohol, drugs, food, games, or other activities as a way to escape from trauma feelings.

- Difficulty sleeping or nightmares: Hard to fall asleep, often waking up in the middle of the night, or having nightmares that remind one of childhood traumatic events.

- Excessive control behavior: Always wanting to control all aspects of their life, because of fear of losing control like what happened in the past. This can appear in the form of strict habits, perfectionism, or difficulty accepting one's own flaws.

 

Cognitive Signs

- Negative thoughts about oneself: Always seeing oneself as not good enough, weak, or worthless. This can come from hurtful words or behavior of adults in childhood.

- Difficulty concentrating and remembering: Hard to focus on daily tasks, or experiencing memory problems — especially memories of the traumatic event itself (dissociation). Sometimes also experiencing "mind blank" when exposed to triggers that remind one of the trauma.

- Believing in wrong assumptions: Having unrealistic beliefs, such as "I will always be hurt" or "no one will love me." These beliefs can shape how a person sees the world and makes decisions.

- Dissociation: Sometimes feeling like "being detached from oneself" or as if watching their life from the outside. This is the brain's natural defense mechanism to protect itself from excessive pain.

 

Physical Signs 

- Unclear body pain: Experiencing back pain, headaches, stomach pain, or other physical discomfort that cannot be explained by medical causes. Trauma can affect the autonomic nervous system, causing muscle tension and physical health problems.

- Immune system problems: More susceptible to illness because of long-term stress from trauma that lowers the immune system.

- Digestive problems: Experiencing recurring gastritis, constipation, or diarrhea due to the connection between the brain and digestive tract that is affected by stress.

- Rapid heartbeat or difficulty breathing: Often feeling a racing heartbeat or difficulty breathing, especially when exposed to triggers that remind one of the trauma.

 

It should be noted that not all people who experience childhood trauma will show all these signs, and the severity can vary. Some people may not realize that their feelings or behaviors come from past trauma, because the symptoms can appear gradually as they get older.

 

If you or someone you know experiences these signs and finds it difficult to cope on your own, seeking help from a mental health professional (such as a therapist or counselor) can be very helpful. Therapies like Trauma-Focused Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (TF-CBT) or EMDR Therapy can help a person process trauma and build healthier ways to manage emotions and relationships.

What's the function of existential intelligence in reality

  Hi, today I would like to share about the interesting topic, namely "what's the function of existential intelligence in reality", the main reason why I choose that topic because many people don't know about its existence, for your information that existential Intelligence (often referred to as the 9th intelligence in Howard Gardner's Multiple Intelligences theory) is a person's ability to contemplate fundamental questions about human existence.

Simply put, it is the intelligence of the "big picture." People with this intelligence often grapple with questions about life, death, and the reality of the universe.

 

Here is a detailed explanation along with real-life examples:

 

Traits of People with Existential Intelligence

 

They are not satisfied with superficial answers. They tend to:

- Think philosophically.

- Be able to see things from a cosmic or broad perspective.

- Question established norms and "truths."

 

Concrete Examples in Daily Life 

1. Children Who Often Ask "Why?"

The purest examples are often seen in children who ask difficult questions to their parents, such as:

- "Where was I before I was born?"

- "Why do people have to die?"

- "Why are we on Earth instead of another planet?"

- "Where does God live?"

2. Interest in Deep Topics

Someone with this intelligence usually prefers discussions about:

- The origin of the universe (cosmology).

- Concepts of time and infinity.

- The meaning of love, suffering, or justice.

- They may prefer watching documentaries about outer space or reading philosophy books over light/gossip topics.

3. Ability to See "Beyond the Self"

When facing minor problems (e.g., traffic jams or losing money), they can stay calm because they see them in a long-term perspective.

- Example: "This frustration is only temporary and won't mean anything in 5 years."

4. Relevant Professions

People with high existential intelligence are often found in roles such as:

- Philosophers: Thinkers who formulate concepts about logic and ethics.

- Theologians/Spiritual Leaders: People who delve into the meaning of divinity and spirituality.

- Theoretical Physicists/Cosmologists: Like Einstein, who thought about the relativity of time and space.

- Abstract Artists/Writers: Whose works try to capture human emotions or conditions that are difficult to put into words.

 

World Figures Examples

Some figures considered to have very high existential intelligence: 

- Socrates: Always questioned the definitions of truth and justice.

- Buddha: Searched for answers to human suffering and a way out of it.

- Albert Einstein: Although a scientist, he often contemplated the mysteries of the universe with a sense of wonder that was almost spiritual.

 

[!NOTE]

Important: Having existential intelligence does not mean a person has to be religious. An atheist can also have high existential intelligence if they often contemplate ethics, morality, and the origin of the universe in depth.

 

Do You Have It? 

You may have dominant existential intelligence if you often feel: 

- Small when looking at stars at night, yet feel connected to the universe.

- Often daydreaming about the future of humanity.

- Wanting your life to have an impact or "legacy," not just to pursue money.